She gave a seemingly unspoken rejection. Is it rejection?

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Dannyboy271
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 156

12 Nov 2012, 8:59 pm

Ooook, so this girl I've been talking to for a couple years. I've had a crush on her that whole time, and knew her for 4 years.

So...

Yeah, me being awkward at the time, never really asked her to hangout or asked her on a date or anything.

Oh crap, this is gonna have to be long...

I just texted her, texted her, texted her, texted her, etc...

like, the first year I started liking her, I asked her on a date, it was great, apparently she enjoyed it (apparently) and I really enjoyed it. Texted her after that and for some reason thought that it would be inappropriate to ask her to hangout or on a date. Plus I didn't have a car, so there was complications, and I didn't wanna embarrass myself trying to get a ride.

Anyway, time passes, she gets a boyfriend, I'm bummed, I have no idea what to do, realize I shoulda asked her out, and I was stuck. I seemed to kinda still have a chance though.

More time passes. The events imply that she really did like me at the time, and was still interested for some time afterwards, but... wasn't anymore. Because she had a boyfriend.

Over text she never seemed to care, but there were events where she seemed excited to se me, and I'm like "Wtfork??"

My chance felt completely burned out, she still has the same boyfriend, and I've been fairly blatant in the past telling her that I like her 'n stuff, but I did it over text because I pretty much just didn't give a crap anymore, and it was a pain to get her over the phone. It was obvious anyway, I just wanted to let out all them bubbles. I didn't go crazy and tell her I loved the deepest parts of her soul though.

Anyway, I kept texting her after that, just for the sake of trying again, and because I still liked her. A lot.

I occasionally made a fool of myself, and our convo's always died, and she would stop texting me for periods of time. This was just a pattern to me, and I would just text her again after a couple months or more and she would be texting me again.

Did that for quite some time.

Eventually (more than once), she stop STOPPED texting me, like she just wouldn't text me, and I would start to get a little blatant, like "Ok, am I annoying you yet?" or something like that. She would always say "No, your ok! :)" and always said she was ok with me texting her, smiley face, and all that fun stuff. I don't know if she was telling the truth, but you get the picture.

So this is one of those FINAL texts, but this time I've noticed something completely new. Whenever I reject someone I honestly don't want to hurt their feelings, (Because they're like... on the verge of cutting themselves.) I tell them I'm there friend, all these nice things, blah blah blah, sure lets hang out some time maybe, etc...

So one million years pass by, I'm feeling a little emotional because I didn't get any sleep the night before, I text her saying "I freaking miss you." Now I only act that obvious on rare occasion, but I've done that once or twice before. So this was significant for me.
She texts back saying "I miss you too!" and all that fun stuff, and then I ask her "Ok, so am I like considered a friend, or just that guy that you continually let text you, and your like, whatev...", and she said she considered me a friend. We get into this really interesting convo for the rest of the day, where I actually have stuff to say. (Which is rare, part of the convo was me emphasizing the fact it was so hard to talk to her, which gave a lot to talk about.) Anyway, I get the opportunity to ask her to hang out, she agrees. She seems super enthusiastic, I eventually tell her I have to put my phone down, and she says "ok... I will let you put your phone down now, hahah."
That last part was a punch in the face, because she never states any approval of me without being asked about it. Usually it's me having to say something like that.
So this was a reaaally interesting convo, where I actually learned a lot. I think.

Anyway, I try texting her afterwards, and she never replies. After like 3 text attempts.

Wuuuuuuuut??

I send her a text asking if I made her mad or weirded her out, she says to stop assuming that when she doesn't text, (Which I've done more than once... teehee.) and that she wasn't mad or anything. She seemed totally down to earth in that text to, which was actually kind of nice to read.

Anyway she won't text me lately. Sent like 3 or 4 texts over the last 2 or 3 weeks, and nothin.

Okay, so comparing this to when I politely reject people, do you guys do the same thing rejecting people? It's an anti-aspie habit, but it's hard not to. Is this evidence that she's genuinely sick of me? Because I have a gay friend who I never really wanted to hang out with because It seemed like he was trying to come on to me. When he asked me if I was mad at him or of the sort I gave him the same response she did to me. I was kinda weirded out, and didn't wanna hang with him, but you get the picture. Felt bad, but yeah.

I understand I've probably been annoying, but I kept asking her just in case because I suspected so, and she said I was fine, so I kept texting her.

So, whadya think?



Brianruns10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,089

12 Nov 2012, 9:34 pm

Forget her and move on. Devote yourself to finding happiness and satisfaction in who you are, and don't worry about women. I won't lie and say you'll find someone. It's BS. Most of us, myself included, are f****d. But knowing this truth, you can focus on learning to have a rich life while being alone. And if by some miracle a girl comes along and likes you, all the better (or you may find you've got it so good, why let a woman screw all that up with her needs and wants?). Be content in who you are, and forget about this one. There's millions like her. She may seem special, but she's really not. Don't agonize yourself over her.



Dannyboy271
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 156

12 Nov 2012, 11:28 pm

I'm pretty positive most of us here aren't fudged.
I mean I understand that I could move on, but if there's still a chance then why?
I appreciate the fact you said we should focus on enjoying life, and all that other stuff, which is totally true, I do that like no other, but when it comes to girls, she's all I really wanna go at. I feel like I have just a good chance after she would brutally reject me than before. So It's like all along I feel like I haven't actually failed, I've only been set back here 'n there.
But along those lines, I again say that I'm pretty absolutely positive I'm not screwed relationship wise for most my life. I also think I can speak for a majority of WP on here.
But I totally agree we should spend every day learning to appreciate life.



Maerlyn138
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2005
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 499
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys

13 Nov 2012, 5:49 pm

[quote="Dannyboy271"]but if there's still a chance then why? quote]

because it's been a long, hard pain in the ass with this chick and if she was interested in you in a romantic way she would have pulled the trigger by now. I say stop contacting her at all and see if SHE seeks YOU out! At least then if she does, you'll know there's something there


_________________
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.

Aspie score: 159 of 200 NT score: 64 of 200


Dannyboy271
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 156

13 Nov 2012, 9:49 pm

Maerlyn138 wrote:
Dannyboy271 wrote:
but if there's still a chance then why? quote]

because it's been a long, hard pain in the ass with this chick and if she was interested in you in a romantic way she would have pulled the trigger by now. I say stop contacting her at all and see if SHE seeks YOU out! At least then if she does, you'll know there's something there


I actually like that idea...