Page 1 of 5 [ 80 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

wester13
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

13 Apr 2013, 2:37 pm

Hello community.I am a guy and i suspect to have asperger.I have scored 174/200 on the test.I am 20 years old and never had a girlfriend.Recently there is this girl in my class whom i suspect she has aspergers too.She usually stares at me.The problem is she has a boyfriend,although she stares at me even when she is with him.She seems conscious whenever i am on the same space as her.The problem is i dont interpret very good the social expressions and her expression is blank when she looks at me.Some suggestion would be greatly appreciated especially from girls.Thanks in advance



aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

13 Apr 2013, 3:01 pm

She has a boyfriend. Leave it at that.



wester13
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

13 Apr 2013, 3:39 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:
She has a boyfriend. Leave it at that.

yes but this doesnt explain why she stares at me.I just would like to know the reason you would thought it might be.I am not the type of the guy who would enter between two other people..



starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

13 Apr 2013, 3:49 pm

I think that if she is breaking social rules by staring at you so much, it would be ok for you to break social custom by asking her why she stares at you, preferably when the boyfriend is not around.



wester13
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

13 Apr 2013, 4:20 pm

yes but i dont think i am able to do this.I am a little bit shy i just hope i am gonna know her friends and then her



mittens87
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 20

13 Apr 2013, 4:56 pm

Maybe she recognizes you as an aspie too and is curious. (not necessarily in a romantic way)



wester13
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

13 Apr 2013, 5:37 pm

mittens87 wrote:
Maybe she recognizes you as an aspie too and is curious. (not necessarily in a romantic way)
yesi think this may be very possible



Anomiel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,023

13 Apr 2013, 5:56 pm

Staring, especially if it's another aspie doing it, doesn't have to mean some kind of sexual interest.
Embarrassingly enough I've done this to the point of freaking out a guy I had heard was also diagnosed with Asperger's, a few years back. It was just very fascinating to see another (allegedly) diagnosed aspie, but as he was very quiet/disassociated there was no way to talk to him even when we were at the same parties.
Obviously she's curious about you on some level, but I don't know why. Staring can range all the way from showing hostility to flirting.



wester13
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

13 Apr 2013, 6:02 pm

Anomiel wrote:
Staring, especially if it's another aspie doing it, doesn't have to mean some kind of sexual interest.
Embarrassingly enough I've done this to the point of freaking out a guy I had heard was also diagnosed with Asperger's, a few years back. It was just very fascinating to see another (allegedly) diagnosed aspie, but as he was very quiet/disassociated there was no way to talk to him even when we were at the same parties.
Obviously she's curious about you on some level, but I don't know why. Staring can range all the way from showing hostility to flirting.
yes this may very well be but the thing is she has been doing it for more than 6 months and when i enter a room she is in she is like conscious i am there,i can see her trying to look at me.Anyway i suspect she is an aspie.We are in the same class.She is intelligent too.



Anomiel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,023

13 Apr 2013, 6:12 pm

wester13 wrote:
Anomiel wrote:
Staring, especially if it's another aspie doing it, doesn't have to mean some kind of sexual interest.
Embarrassingly enough I've done this to the point of freaking out a guy I had heard was also diagnosed with Asperger's, a few years back. It was just very fascinating to see another (allegedly) diagnosed aspie, but as he was very quiet/disassociated there was no way to talk to him even when we were at the same parties.
Obviously she's curious about you on some level, but I don't know why. Staring can range all the way from showing hostility to flirting.
yes this may very well be but the thing is she has been doing it for more than 6 months and when i enter a room she is in she is like conscious i am there,i can see her trying to look at me.Anyway i suspect she is an aspie.We are in the same class.She is intelligent too.


Maybe she wants to be your friend. Go up and say hello? But be prepared so you know what to say after that whatever her response is. Maybe not mention the staring as she might be unaware that she does it, or unaware that you have noticed.

...That is of course if that is what you'd want. Just saying, that is probably the reason.



thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

13 Apr 2013, 10:45 pm

She might not be aware of it

She might want to be your friend.

She might be trying to figure out if you have AS.



uwmonkdm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2013
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 764
Location: Canada

14 Apr 2013, 3:24 am

She has a boyfriend, just drop it.
Don't be "that guy".



wester13
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

14 Apr 2013, 3:39 am

uwmonkdm wrote:
She has a boyfriend, just drop it.
Don't be "that guy".
well the thing has beome a little creepy now.how would you feel if someone was staring at you especially if you havent seen her for a long period of time



uwmonkdm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2013
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 764
Location: Canada

14 Apr 2013, 4:35 am

wester13 wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
She has a boyfriend, just drop it.
Don't be "that guy".
well the thing has beome a little creepy now.how would you feel if someone was staring at you especially if you havent seen her for a long period of time


I would think "is there something on my face?" or "she wants the D" and leave it at that.



Nambo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,882
Location: Prussia

14 Apr 2013, 5:18 am

Women always have a boyfriend, the minute they finish with one, they are already going out with another, this would imply that they have to have a boyfriend, but exchange them whenever one they prefer the look of comes along, which in this instance might be you.

If not the above, they certainly must have a waiting list of suitors, so best to ensure you are on it in advance.

Maybe you could say to her, "Look, I know you already have a boyfriend, I just cannot help feeling their is something special about you, if your circumstances ever change, maybe you would consider talking to me further?"

If she does like you, she will either put you on her list, or maybe even decide to move up a model.



Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,522
Location: Europe

14 Apr 2013, 6:41 am

uwmonkdm wrote:
She has a boyfriend, just drop it.
Don't be "that guy".


This.