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OlivG
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15 Jan 2014, 11:31 am

How common is lack of spontaneity in autism? I've been reading about how important spontaneity is for a quality of life or something, so to what extent would it be possible for a high-functioning autist to become spontaneous?



ZombieBrideXD
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15 Jan 2014, 12:20 pm

im ok if i do things that are not so overwhelming like watching a movie or going out to eat, but anything too big and i shut down


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Soccer22
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15 Jan 2014, 12:26 pm

I am not capable of spontaneity. Even if I go out to eat I have to plan where I'm going, when I'm going, what am I going to eat, and who's driving (I usually do). The only spontaneity involved is I have no idea who will be my waiter/waitress or where I'll sit or who will be at the restaurant.



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15 Jan 2014, 12:48 pm

I'm capable of spontaneity within a restricted range of activities. I can spontaneously decide to go hiking by myself or something else outdoorsy, because nature is my happy place.
I think spontaneity can have a place in an aspie's life. It's important to find your comfort zone and feel relaxed in that space, however small it may be.
I measure my life in small successes and try to forget about my faults. Maybe I failed and freaked out in a new grocery store, but I also spontaneously drove 200 miles by myself to a new national park and still had a good day. Be kind to yourself 8) .


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droppy
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15 Jan 2014, 1:55 pm

I actually am quite spontaneous. That's because I am disorganized and can't make plans/when I make them I usually can't follow through. Because of this I usually do whatever comes to my mind first and I generally feel free to do what I want.



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15 Jan 2014, 2:00 pm

For me it depends. I can do things I planned but I rarely stop somewhere interesting I didn't plan for. I rarely do things at the spur of the moment.


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15 Jan 2014, 4:52 pm

Interestingly enough, I actually enjoy being spontaneous every once in a while. While I enjoy repetition of the same usual activities, I don't mind it if I try something new.



zzyzzy
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03 Jun 2022, 6:20 pm

I need to follow a schedule. I can make changes in the schedule under certain conditions. For example, if the change is merely switching when activities are to be done, or made far in advance of time. I also get around the lack of spontaneity problem by scheduling a block of time (usually about an hour) during the day where I'm spontaneous. OK, it sounds like a paradox, but it actually works to get some spontaneous time.



autisticelders
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04 Jun 2022, 5:18 am

pretty common! I need to know what is going to happen, when its going to happen, and have lots of details about how, where, etc before I feel comfortable doing most things. My husband is almost oppositional over any suggestion to do anything at all unless we arrange everything in detail ahead of time and get it written on the calendar. Everything at our house is planned to the last detail, right down to when we eat, what we do (take a walk, play a board game, etc) No surprises are good surprises at our house.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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04 Jun 2022, 8:26 am

Organized versus spontaneous

Some things should be organized and planned

Some things should be spontaneous

Spontaneous things could be good or bad

Impulsive things are bad

Connotation versus denotation

I hardly ever do anything spontaneous, per se

Neuroplasticity



ToughDiamond
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05 Jun 2022, 10:57 am

Yes it's a problem here. Being a slow thinker I seem to need to carefully plan everything I do, which kills spontaneity, and spontaneity is said to be important, and I agree it is.

But I'm capable of being fairly spontaneous when I'm with people, as long as I feel reasonably safe with them and it's going well. Theoretically it shouldn't work, but somehow if often does. And it can be tiring.

I also sometimes find myself rebelling against over-thinking and procrastination, because I notice when it's happening a lot and it makes me feel impatient. But I try not to rebel like that with an important job that needs care. I tend to check whether I could afford to take more reasonable risks in a situation, and it often turns out that I could, and I rebel.



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08 Jun 2022, 7:37 am

Some of my best memories come from spontaneous events, like being hauled off to the beach. This week, I noticed one tree branch doing most of the restriction of my available sunbath times, so I got out my pole saw, and went on to tidy up some dead branches. That's one less job for the summer.