Having all the traits except having good social skills.

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Dbz33
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03 Nov 2016, 4:45 am

I have all the traits except I have good social skills and speech delay when I was born.
I struggle with very basic tasks and been told I have a learning disability.
Do you think It's possible to have Aspergers with good social skills and a speech delay but have every trait besides those two?
Despite good social skills I don't have any friends and my special interest takes up all my time.
My coordination...gosh don't even want to talk about it...it's so awful.


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RobertColumbia
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03 Nov 2016, 8:23 am

Hi!

Could you be more specific as to what you mean by "good social skills" and "struggle with very basic tasks"?

How specifically do you know that you have "good social skills" if you don't have any friends? Did you score high on a "social skills" test? Did a clinical professional tell you that you have good social skills? Are you making a holistic judgment based on your own observations of yourself?

When you say that you "struggle with very basic tasks", what kind of struggles are you talking about? Are you having more trouble with cognitive issues such as reading comprehension, applied math skills, or logical reasoning, or is your problem more of a lack of sufficient motivation to do things? If the first, it sounds like you might be more likely to have a mild case of Intellectual Disability (ID) than an Autism spectrum condition. If the second, that might be more ADD.



Dbz33
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03 Nov 2016, 4:58 pm

RobertColumbia wrote:
Hi!

Could you be more specific as to what you mean by "good social skills" and "struggle with very basic tasks"?

How specifically do you know that you have "good social skills" if you don't have any friends? Did you score high on a "social skills" test? Did a clinical professional tell you that you have good social skills? Are you making a holistic judgment based on your own observations of yourself?

When you say that you "struggle with very basic tasks", what kind of struggles are you talking about? Are you having more trouble with cognitive issues such as reading comprehension, applied math skills, or logical reasoning, or is your problem more of a lack of sufficient motivation to do things? If the first, it sounds like you might be more likely to have a mild case of Intellectual Disability (ID) than an Autism spectrum condition. If the second, that might be more ADD.
I struggle with very basic tasks such as making a bed or doing something quite simple like bringing three items but forgeting where to put them or something like that. Basic tasks are difficult.
My social skills I consider okay because I help customers at my work.
My motor skills/coordination is a struggle too Yoga classes would be real difficult for me.
I also have the other traits like having a routine and special interest introvert ect.
Is it possible to have learning disability as well as Autism spectrum?
Also have very bad anxiety.


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skibum
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03 Nov 2016, 5:13 pm

Hi Dbz33. Welcome to WP.

To get a diagnosis of Autism, you don't have to have every single trait or symptom listed on the list. You just have to have enough of them and they have to impair your daily life enough to qualify you for a diagnosis. Having said that, I always thought my social skills were excellent until I got my diagnosis and actually read the report. I also did an extensive amount of research on Autism/Asperger's as I was in the process of getting a diagnosis. As I learned more and more about Autism/Asperger's, I started to really look very closely at my life and at my life as a child. I realized for the first time in my life that my social skills were actually not even close to being what I had thought they were. I had no idea how socially inept I was until I saw myself from a more educated viewpoint. It really shocked me to find out that I was much more Autistic that I could have every realized.

Now of course I don't know you at all so it is very possible that your social skills really are excellent. But just to offer another perspective and another possibility, it could also be that you are like me and that you really do honestly feel and believe that your social skills are really good but that you might not realize that they might not be nearly as good as you might think they are. It's just a possibility to consider. I know that for me, if I had never gotten diagnosed, I would not have ever realized how bad my social skills really are.

Many people assume that when someone is self diagnosed that they automatically overestimate how severely they are affected by the traits and symptoms. I am not saying at all that you are self diagnosed or anything else about you personally, I am just saying an observation that I have noticed in general and that happened to me. So what I found is that there are times when people have "self diagnosed" by doing tons of research but when they do get an official diagnosis what they find is that they have not overestimated their severity of Autism but rather underestimated it. There have been cases of people, like myself, who once they got diagnosed and read the report and learned much more about Autism, they find out that they are actually more severely Autistic than they had thought. So just a thought to think about.


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03 Nov 2016, 5:53 pm

Dbz33 wrote:
RobertColumbia wrote:
Hi!

Could you be more specific as to what you mean by "good social skills" and "struggle with very basic tasks"?

How specifically do you know that you have "good social skills" if you don't have any friends? Did you score high on a "social skills" test? Did a clinical professional tell you that you have good social skills? Are you making a holistic judgment based on your own observations of yourself?

When you say that you "struggle with very basic tasks", what kind of struggles are you talking about? Are you having more trouble with cognitive issues such as reading comprehension, applied math skills, or logical reasoning, or is your problem more of a lack of sufficient motivation to do things? If the first, it sounds like you might be more likely to have a mild case of Intellectual Disability (ID) than an Autism spectrum condition. If the second, that might be more ADD.
I struggle with very basic tasks such as making a bed or doing something quite simple like bringing three items but forgeting where to put them or something like that. Basic tasks are difficult.
My social skills I consider okay because I help customers at my work.
My motor skills/coordination is a struggle too Yoga classes would be real difficult for me.
I also have the other traits like having a routine and special interest introvert ect.
Is it possible to have learning disability as well as Autism spectrum?
Also have very bad anxiety.


I'm glad you are good with costumer service at work. That's a really important skill!

It's not true that autistic people can't be good at things like costumer service. A lot of us are. I work with people every day. Most austitic people learn social skills eventually.

It is very true that some people can have autism and a specific learning disability. This is like me - I have aspergers and a hearing problem called auditory processing disorder. It's also possible that you can have autism and a global learning disability, so everything is harder to learn.

I think it's important for you to listen to teachers and doctors if they tell you that you are different. Different isn't bad. But if you understand how you are different, you can understand that other people see things differently than you. That can save you from a lot of problems, so it's worth knowing.



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03 Nov 2016, 5:54 pm

Dbz33 wrote:
RobertColumbia wrote:
Hi!

Could you be more specific as to what you mean by "good social skills" and "struggle with very basic tasks"?

How specifically do you know that you have "good social skills" if you don't have any friends? Did you score high on a "social skills" test? Did a clinical professional tell you that you have good social skills? Are you making a holistic judgment based on your own observations of yourself?

When you say that you "struggle with very basic tasks", what kind of struggles are you talking about? Are you having more trouble with cognitive issues such as reading comprehension, applied math skills, or logical reasoning, or is your problem more of a lack of sufficient motivation to do things? If the first, it sounds like you might be more likely to have a mild case of Intellectual Disability (ID) than an Autism spectrum condition. If the second, that might be more ADD.
I struggle with very basic tasks such as making a bed or doing something quite simple like bringing three items but forgeting where to put them or something like that. Basic tasks are difficult.
My social skills I consider okay because I help customers at my work.
My motor skills/coordination is a struggle too Yoga classes would be real difficult for me.
I also have the other traits like having a routine and special interest introvert ect.
Is it possible to have learning disability as well as Autism spectrum?
Also have very bad anxiety.



As a child I would have said I had good social skills because I could play with other kids and talk to people and ask for things and tell people when I am sick or hurt or telling my parents when kids are mean to me and also because I love to be nice to people and help when I can. It's just other kids and grown ups at my school who are the problem because of the way they treat me and won't let me be normal. :P

Yes it's possible to have a learning disability and autism.


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26 Nov 2016, 1:08 am

Dbz33 wrote:
RobertColumbia wrote:
Hi!

Could you be more specific as to what you mean by "good social skills" and "struggle with very basic tasks"?

How specifically do you know that you have "good social skills" if you don't have any friends? Did you score high on a "social skills" test? Did a clinical professional tell you that you have good social skills? Are you making a holistic judgment based on your own observations of yourself?

When you say that you "struggle with very basic tasks", what kind of struggles are you talking about? Are you having more trouble with cognitive issues such as reading comprehension, applied math skills, or logical reasoning, or is your problem more of a lack of sufficient motivation to do things? If the first, it sounds like you might be more likely to have a mild case of Intellectual Disability (ID) than an Autism spectrum condition. If the second, that might be more ADD.
I struggle with very basic tasks such as making a bed or doing something quite simple like bringing three items but forgeting where to put them or something like that. Basic tasks are difficult.
My social skills I consider okay because I help customers at my work.
My motor skills/coordination is a struggle too Yoga classes would be real difficult for me.
I also have the other traits like having a routine and special interest introvert ect.
Is it possible to have learning disability as well as Autism spectrum?
Also have very bad anxiety.
customer service is a learned skill and is not something people are born with...its a set of procedures with a simple goal in mind which is to sell products to the customer....it all depends on your knowledge of your product and the basic idea that people come to your company to buy your products....basically your speaking for your merchandise rather than for yourself...


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Dbz33
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19 Dec 2020, 1:48 am

League_Girl wrote:
Dbz33 wrote:
RobertColumbia wrote:
Hi!

Could you be more specific as to what you mean by "good social skills" and "struggle with very basic tasks"?

How specifically do you know that you have "good social skills" if you don't have any friends? Did you score high on a "social skills" test? Did a clinical professional tell you that you have good social skills? Are you making a holistic judgment based on your own observations of yourself?

When you say that you "struggle with very basic tasks", what kind of struggles are you talking about? Are you having more trouble with cognitive issues such as reading comprehension, applied math skills, or logical reasoning, or is your problem more of a lack of sufficient motivation to do things? If the first, it sounds like you might be more likely to have a mild case of Intellectual Disability (ID) than an Autism spectrum condition. If the second, that might be more ADD.
I struggle with very basic tasks such as making a bed or doing something quite simple like bringing three items but forgeting where to put them or something like that. Basic tasks are difficult.
My social skills I consider okay because I help customers at my work.
My motor skills/coordination is a struggle too Yoga classes would be real difficult for me.
I also have the other traits like having a routine and special interest introvert ect.
Is it possible to have learning disability as well as Autism spectrum?
Also have very bad anxiety.



As a child I would have said I had good social skills because I could play with other kids and talk to people and ask for things and tell people when I am sick or hurt or telling my parents when kids are mean to me and also because I love to be nice to people and help when I can. It's just other kids and grown ups at my school who are the problem because of the way they treat me and won't let me be normal. :P

Yes it's possible to have a learning disability and autism.

Thanks for all of your guy's help btw, rereading this after being assessed and diagnosed. I most certainly overestimated my social skills and aren't nearly as good as thought. I was diagnosed as high functioning autistic with a learning disability. I am glad I discovered this forum and people who are on it. :)

Ps, I never held onto that job for very for long...
Or any job for that matter.


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Joe90
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19 Dec 2020, 1:00 pm

Quote:
As a child I would have said I had good social skills because I could play with other kids and talk to people and ask for things and tell people when I am sick or hurt or telling my parents when kids are mean to me and also because I love to be nice to people and help when I can.


I was like this too as a child, except I didn't usually tell my parents if kids were mean to me at school, not because I was unable to, but because I didn't want them to worry or to become distraught in other children (which is still a social skill because I was thinking about my parents feelings more than my own). But I did sometimes tell my parents, depending on which kids were mean or how they were mean.

I'm also good with reading body language and tone of voice and facial expressions, and as a kid I recognised quickly when the teacher was in a bad mood just by their body language.


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