Website against Asperger's Syndrome: HeartlessAspergers.com

Page 1 of 14 [ 216 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 14  Next

Gessy
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 9 Jan 2017
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 1
Location: Québec, Canada

09 Jan 2017, 5:07 pm

While doing random searches about Asperger's, I found this website dedicated to spread the ''truth'' about people with Asperger's, wich wopuld be that: ''They are incapable of empathy. And because of their lack of empathy, their spouses, partners and children suffer extreme emotional neglect, abuse and significant trauma.'' I found the link on a very similar website dedicated to the hatred of psychopaths instead of Aspergers. The site contains a lot of desinformative articles about the diagnosis and comments of ex-partners of people with the Syndrome who talk about their traumatic experiences with them.

Of course, I know that we can be bad people like anyone else, but this is not often the case and when it is, it's not linked to the diagnosis, and a bad experience with one person can't justify the hatred against a whole community. A lack of empathy doesn't even make somebody a bad person, not even for psychopaths (even if they are more likely to hurt people than autistic people, many or most of them are decent human beings). And we know that an apparent lack of empathy in somebody with Asperger's is often the result of the misinterpretation of other people's feelings. As somebody with Asperger's who knows someone who actually lacks empathy (but is a good person) and as a special interest in ASPD, this insults me.
What do you think of that whole thing?

By the way, this is my first post on the forum, so hi everybody!



Shahunshah
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,225
Location: NZ

09 Jan 2017, 5:18 pm

Cool. I think I will go on it to debate them on it.



androbot01
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada

10 Jan 2017, 7:48 am

Despite the name I actually found it to be a good site.

I get really sick of people trying to pretend that the symptoms of autism do not effect our interpersonal relationships. Of course they do, and of course we are challenged when it comes to having a partner and a family. Are the people we effect not supposed to talk about it or support each other?

As much as we might wish it were not the case, autistic people are a burden to those who care for them.



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

10 Jan 2017, 10:43 am

androbot01 wrote:
As much as we might wish it were not the case, autistic people are a burden to those who care for them.

Yes, but that does not prove we are heartless. As I approach age 70, my remaining goal in life is to release people from the sense of burden I have been to them and to become ever more tolerable, enjoyable or even delightful from here on out.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


PIgeek
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 103

10 Jan 2017, 12:51 pm

some people hates blacks, gays, whites, asians...
i am not surprised, someone seems to need hate to feel alive :?


_________________
"Go ask Alice, i think she'll know
when logic, and proportion
have fallen sloppy dead
and the white knight is talking backwards
and the red queen is off with her head
remember what the dormouse said
feed your head, feed your head"

White rabbit -
Jefferson Airplane


BuyerBeware
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,476
Location: PA, USA

10 Jan 2017, 3:16 pm

Considering that I have effectively destroyed my own sense of self to try to alleviate the burden of being around me and make myself more pleasant to others, I resent the hell out of that. But--whatever. It's a neurotypical world. We will never be more than a pale and poor imitation of neurotypicality; people who are very sensitive to How Things Should Be in that direction are always going to be hurt by our proximity and offended by our existence.

No one is universally loved. You don't have to have a society-wide consensus that you're an OK person in order to like yourself and be an OK person. You just have to decide what OK is (and I hope it includes being basicallly decent, upright, and as kind as common sense will allow) and be it. That's all. Someone is always going to think you are a dingleberry on the left anus-hair of the antichrist. Always.

Don't invite those people into your personal life. Don't "pass" so well that you find out you've moved in with one, become best friends with one, or married one before either of you realizes the facts of the situation. Take personal relationships slow and honest. It won't save you 100% of the time, but it will minimize your troubles in that area considerably.

And-- leave them alone. Let them have their space. We b***h about how sh***y NTs are all the time. We're not all saints. Even the most martyr-like candidate to become a True Saint of Aspergia among us can be a real asshat sometimes. That's called being human.

Let it be a mutual dislike, and let it be.


_________________
"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"


rats_and_cats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2016
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 627
Location: USA

10 Jan 2017, 11:35 pm

Wow. F*** that noise. Not much else to say. I hope no ignorant person takes that site seriously.



MelissaCho
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 70

14 Jan 2017, 5:43 pm

Gessy wrote:
While doing random searches about Asperger's, I found this website dedicated to spread the ''truth'' about people with Asperger's, wich wopuld be that: ''They are incapable of empathy. And because of their lack of empathy, their spouses, partners and children suffer extreme emotional neglect, abuse and significant trauma.'' I found the link on a very similar website dedicated to the hatred of psychopaths instead of Aspergers. The site contains a lot of desinformative articles about the diagnosis and comments of ex-partners of people with the Syndrome who talk about their traumatic experiences with them.

Of course, I know that we can be bad people like anyone else, but this is not often the case and when it is, it's not linked to the diagnosis, and a bad experience with one person can't justify the hatred against a whole community. A lack of empathy doesn't even make somebody a bad person, not even for psychopaths (even if they are more likely to hurt people than autistic people, many or most of them are decent human beings). And we know that an apparent lack of empathy in somebody with Asperger's is often the result of the misinterpretation of other people's feelings. As somebody with Asperger's who knows someone who actually lacks empathy (but is a good person) and as a special interest in ASPD, this insults me.
What do you think of that whole thing?

By the way, this is my first post on the forum, so hi everybody!


I looked at the website and the only "heartless" people are the people who thought this website was a good idea.



Scorpius14
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 525
Location: wrong universe

16 Jan 2017, 6:50 pm

well i agree with most of what it says on there but then again i've never been in a relationship, nor will i plan to.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 109,287
Location: On a special base where the Christmas soldiers of the world live

20 Jan 2017, 1:19 am

They're probably a bunch of drama queens with too much time on their hands.


_________________
Oberfeldwebel

Age: 48
Gender: Non-Binary
Pronouns: He/Him/His
IQ: 86 and I use all 86 of them.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,507

20 Jan 2017, 6:31 pm

People who form apserger hate groups are probably ignorant individuals with an axe to grind. The general public don't even know what Aspergers is so it's hard to imagine they have much of a following

much ado about nothing...



old_comedywriter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 519
Location: Somewhere west of where you are

20 Jan 2017, 7:18 pm

This sounds a lot like an old site I found once...I think it was FAAAS or something like that, dedicated to people who "suffer" from a family member with AS. Probably funded by the RNC.


_________________
It ain't easy being me, but someone's gotta do it.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,101
Location: Pacific Northwest

21 Jan 2017, 2:06 pm

old_comedywriter wrote:
This sounds a lot like an old site I found once...I think it was FAAAS or something like that, dedicated to people who "suffer" from a family member with AS. Probably funded by the RNC.



I had a look at that site and I skimmed it and read the case histories part and TBH lot of that behavior would stress me out too but their partners came off as being intellectually impaired or an as*hole. It made me think "is this how aspies really are? I am not like that." But I also have anxiety disorder. If that behavior is so stressful for an NT, I can't imagine how much worse it might be for me and I can imagine it would do more affect on me than it would for an NT. It makes me think I should just take myself off the spectrum so I have nothing to worry about. But I just avoid these kind of sites at all cost because they make me feel stressed out.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


PwoperNereguar
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 10 Jan 2016
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 51
Location: Nottinghamshire, England

21 Jan 2017, 6:58 pm

People with Aspergers lacking empathy was disproved ages ago. It's becoming a more popular theory that we're more empathetic than neurotypicals, which makes more sense. I walk into a room and I feel everything everyone else is feeling and feel a strong need to help anyone who's upset, even if I hate them. Neurotypicals, however, don't seem to give a s**t. I've noticed that they only seem to help if it's in their best interest in the long run and seem to say that they don't care about anyone with pride.



Simon01
Raven
Raven

Joined: 21 Jan 2017
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: San Antonio, Tx

22 Jan 2017, 1:39 am

I've seen that site.

My own theory about a site like that is that some of the hate aimed at people with disabilities, chronic health issues, or neurological disorders/mental issues comes from people with a working knowledge of, or experience with, the conditions they're spewing so much vitriol about. Sounds bizarre, but I've seen it myself. People who work in healthcare or who even have a disabled friend or family member trying to exclude or deny access to services to wheelchair users, or someone having an idealized concept of what a disabled person is "supposed" to be like and not being able to cope with the reality of the disabled people they meet being real people and not a cool stereotype.

That's the vibe I get from that site- people might have had a bad experience with the one aspie they were with, or perhaps thought Autism was cool until they met a real person who isn't the cool character they read about or saw on TV.

And later "research" I did, plus meeting aspies in real life, makes me think that "horror stories" about being around aspies or the litany of bad behaviors attributed to them is grossly exaggerated or flat out made up.

Just my opinion :-)



rowan_nichol
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Jul 2016
Age: 59
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 748
Location: England

22 Jan 2017, 7:55 am

I smell some silly and rather selfish people behind that website. Perhaps who saw some quiet, low maintenance individual, launched themselves on that individual with a selfish fantasy in tehir heads which was along the lines of "I will be the special one who brings this poor person out of their shell, they will love me for it, make me the centre of their world, they will be able to understand all me needs and fulfill them, they are broken now by I will be the special one who fixes them and makes them whole..."

And then, the same selfish person discovers that what they saw is what they get. The person they launched themselves at is exactly the way they first saw them, self contained content, because it is the way many of us are and can be quite content to be. Maybe out of chivalry we made the efforts to reciprocate the interests and attention when it was first given to us, but that takes extra energy to maintain long term, and actually, being that close to someone means one should be able to drop any pretence, people ought to be able to be with the actual person not any act they put on.

And so this silly person is bitterly disappointed because they did not get their selfish fantasy, they got what it says on the tin.

These women are supposedly adults. Being an adult involves having some understanding of ones own needs and taking responsibility for them. Asking clearly for example.

I don't want to be unkind though. It is much better to make reasonable accommodations to disabilities. NTs have a blind spot and a disability which is that they are often incapable of using language precisely. Then silly ones play up to that, expecting others to fill in the information which they can not or will not put into clear language.

One also has to ask how many of the embittered people on that site were the ones who initiated things, perhaps spotting their Asperger/Autistic partner as someone who was perhaps a little vulnerable, someone perhaps not socially well connected and thus someone they thought would be very likely to respond to whatever initiation was made towards them. I would call that manipulating a vulnerable person.