I have no idea what to do in my situation. Please read!

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Dbz33
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31 May 2017, 1:15 am

Autism is kicking me down to a very low point, I even seeked professional help and was certain I have ASD and refered me to a $2000 assessment I can't afford for a official label.

I have no friends, despite putting my self in a sport and being in a group setting has done nothing for me...my coordination/focus is horrible and haven't made a single friend.

I have no car/licence because my coordination is awful and processing everything on the road is difficult.
Processing info is a big problem for me.

I have no talents in anything and my skills School wise were so poor I was in Special Ed.
I struggle to tie my own shoes!
They told me I just had a "mild learning disability."
Which never made much sense to me as other kids in School who had this label were always much smarter than me.

I have a obession that takes my time which I've never gotten anything out of it so not like it's useful in anyway.

I like sticking to routines and hate change.

I struggle focusing especially around certain lighting in the room and noise.

I basically don't have anything besides a minimum wage job, I live at home because of it and if I were to get kicked out for some reason I'd be certain that I would be homeless.

No one would ever think I struggle as much as I do if you looked at me and briefly talked I appear as "normal" I don't have social anxiety but anxiety in general from all these impairments.

I have explained to family members about being on the spectrum but they simply don't understand it and the problems that it brings.

I'm constantly alone and with no useful skills of any kind...ironically besides typing/grammar being my skill...given on how much I'm on the internet and being in solitude. I feel like I'm no use to society.

All I would like is some useful tips from people that share the same problems not from uneducated NT's that think it's more of a attitude problem or something else that's causing these issues.

- No friends
- Very poor academic skills
- Time consuming obession
- Verbal overload
- Shut down and don't talk for hours
- Missing social cues like jokes and hand shakes
- Hate certain lighting
- Difficult processing things
- Routine/change problems
- Bad memory
- Poor focus
- Bad Coordination
- Insomnia/Anxiety/Depressed
:(


_________________
Diagnosed with ASD.


Last edited by Dbz33 on 31 May 2017, 4:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

B19
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31 May 2017, 4:19 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet. It might help members to know what country you are in (the USA?). As you don't have social anxiety, there may be a local Meet-Up group for people on the spectrum that you could join. If so, you would meet people there who could tell you their search diagnosis and where or how they achieved that. And you would meet people who do understand, so that you would no longer be alone with people who don't understand.



Dear_one
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31 May 2017, 7:18 am

You are not the only problem here - a lot of "friendship" has gone electronic, and real wages have been falling for decades. Any obsession can be treated like an addiction - the only real cure is learning to be interested in other things. How about investigating the cheapest ways to live, so you could be officially homeless but still quite comfortable? Perhaps doing some volunteer work for homeless people would get you both friends and information. Be careful about people who would cheat you or just not be able to keep a deal, though - some can be very persuasive when you don't have other people to talk to - take the advice of other volunteers on that if you can. A volunteer coordinator may find new ways you can feel useful, too.



NeilM
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31 May 2017, 2:18 pm

Your words resonate with me Dbz33. I dealt with most of the items on your list all of my working life (I did make it to retirement tho so it can be done). The insomnia was the worst part I felt and that most of the other items arose because of my lack of sleep. What helped me to carry on was my doctor putting me on an anti-depressant. I don't know what age you are but obviously you are adult and can take anti-depressants. That one thing lowered my anxiety level tremendously and let me sleep more and better. I don't think we will ever sleep normally, like 7-8 hours per night, but this at least took me half way or more in that direction. So if you are not taking an anti-depressant, see your doctor about doing so.

Also, you might investigate jobs that involve data entry and other keyboard intensive tasks. Areas where this is done is in police departments, libraries, medical facilities (medical information/coding AND patient billing), among others. The ideal would be if you could access their system from your home but that may not be possible.

I can tell you not to worry about not having friends, to consider yourself fortunate that you don't have deal with people and all the requirements that "friends" come into your life with. But that probably won't help. At least this way you don't have to agonize over what kind of gift to give for whatever occasion, what to wear and how to present yourself at so-and-so's wedding/graduation/bar mitzvah/ball game/you name it, and so on. There is a silver lining to your situation.

I hope our comments help you get more in control of your life.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 120 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 74 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

AQ = 38 MBTI = ISTJ Gender = Non-binary
I strive not to perseverate. You can PM me for more info.


bunnyb
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31 May 2017, 6:32 pm

Hi and I'm sorry you are feeling bad at the moment. Life can look bleak when you don't know where you are going. I agree with NeilM, looking for a job that plays to your strengths is a good idea. My sister worked doing legal transcription. She didn't have to be in a court. She was given tapes which she transcribed at home. She did PACE tapes which are the tapes done by police of interviews and witness statements among other things. She was never short of work. Good luck. You belong somewhere, you just need to figure out where :)


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Dbz33
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30 Jul 2020, 6:03 am

B19 wrote:
Welcome to Wrong Planet. It might help members to know what country you are in (the USA?). As you don't have social anxiety, there may be a local Meet-Up group for people on the spectrum that you could join. If so, you would meet people there who could tell you their search diagnosis and where or how they achieved that. And you would meet people who do understand, so that you would no longer be alone with people who don't understand.

Turned out I have severe social anxiety and was as the diagnosis, thanks for the help. :)


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Diagnosed with ASD.


eyelessshiver
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30 Jul 2020, 11:05 am

I imagine there's a way you can apply (and likely qualify) for some disability assistance or something. At least in my state, there's a website where you can apply for all your benefits in one place. You eventually go in for an interview, etc. Have you ever gone through those steps?



killerBunny
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30 Jul 2020, 1:22 pm

You would qualify for GAd if you are concerned with social assistance. That is something your family doctor can diagnose. As for autism, unless you are a kid, that official diagnosis does little. There are meds. Anything you can do is available online but it requires work. So... ya .

Having friends is important. It may not seem so but it is one of those things that will cause misery without even if you don’t like socializing. Autism is like sinking boat. The second you let your guard down and stop pumping water out, things will get progressively harder.