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MSBKyle
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03 Jan 2019, 4:18 pm

I have read articles saying that gays have a harder time coping with aging than straight people do. I have read that they fear being alone in their older years and losing their youthful looks. The LGBT community tends to focus on youth. I admit that I am very negative about aging. I am gay and have never been in a relationship because of my poor social skills. For me, looks are a major factor. I'm only attracted to young men. When I see young, hot men in public I stare at them and check them out. I don't care if he is straight or gay, hot is hot to me. This is one of the reasons why I fear aging and growing older. I worry that my youthful looks will fade away and that I will be undesirable for a young looking man. All of the young men that I find attractive now will eventually lose their youthful looks and I won't have any options. I don't know if I will grow out of this or only focus on looks. I can't help what I am attracted to. I wish that we could all stay young forever and keep our youthful looks into our old age. Getting old wouldn't be a problem if we didn't age.



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06 Jan 2019, 3:45 am

I'm afraid of aging not because of my looks but because I know that getting older brings me closer to death...



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06 Jan 2019, 4:39 am

Well, OP, I wasn't even out at your age yet. I made peace with it in my late 20s although I always had gay feelings from when I started high school. I still remain quite attractive for my age years later. I'm also attracted to youth and boyish looks but there's more to it than that and when you have a BF you'll understand that age is just a number.


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Max1951
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07 Jan 2019, 10:54 am

MSBKyle wrote:
I have read articles saying that gays have a harder time coping with aging than straight people do. I have read that they fear being alone in their older years and losing their youthful looks. The LGBT community tends to focus on youth. I admit that I am very negative about aging. I am gay and have never been in a relationship because of my poor social skills. For me, looks are a major factor. I'm only attracted to young men. When I see young, hot men in public I stare at them and check them out. I don't care if he is straight or gay, hot is hot to me. This is one of the reasons why I fear aging and growing older. I worry that my youthful looks will fade away and that I will be undesirable for a young looking man. All of the young men that I find attractive now will eventually lose their youthful looks and I won't have any options. I don't know if I will grow out of this or only focus on looks. I can't help what I am attracted to. I wish that we could all stay young forever and keep our youthful looks into our old age. Getting old wouldn't be a problem if we didn't age.


I'm old. I have known that I was gay ever since puberty. And, yes, I am attracted to young and beautiful guys too. But I have found that often-times pretty-boy angels go bad quickly, when they open their mouths. It's like they open their mouths and toads fall out :) So I stare at good looking guys all the time too, but usually in a lecherous old man way, which makes me feel bad about myself. Because I know that what I have for them is not really love, but desire.

I have been lucky enough to find love. I have been with the same woman for 30 years. Our relationship is nourishing and we can understand each other even without words. You grow together over time, and develop the same wants and aspirations. You really do become a single functioning unit. That 'two become one' is not BS. Your experiences build your soul. When you experience the world together with someone for an extended period of time, your souls merge to an extent, due to all the experiences that you have shared. So I am a gay man, and I always will be a gay man, but I love this woman more than I can ever love anyone else, because, by living with her for 30 years, we have become the same person to a great extent.

I had just about any variety of guy when I was single, always looking for mister right. But when I met my wife I met someone who I was not afraid to be myself with; no anxiety. I liked her a lot, because it was fun for me to spend time with her. She's still fun after 30 years, and I love her more than I have ever loved anyone. And guys are still sexually appealing, but in my heart, I know that I do not have another 30 years to build a relationship with a guy that could rival the one I have with my wife. I love getting older together with her. If I ever lose her, I'll probably just play around with other old widowers, because there are a lot of old gay men like me who married heterosexually, due to societal norms of the time.

As to worrying about getting old and dying, I've come to believe that life is a zero sum game. The good in life is offset by the bad. You become a success at life by noticing the good more than you notice the bad. And, frankly, I would fear any eternal life much more than I would dying.



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07 Jan 2019, 1:17 pm

Personally I can't stand young pretty boys. I prefer older guys, they're more kindly to us younger guys like a daddy to his kids. Even older straight guys can be pretty nice to younger guys. :heart:



MSBKyle
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07 Jan 2019, 5:05 pm

TW1ZTY wrote:
I'm afraid of aging not because of my looks but because I know that getting older brings me closer to death...


I'm actually the opposite. I am more afraid of aging than I am of death. At least if you die before you hit old age you don't have to deal with all of the physical and mental declines that come with advance aging. When I was a kid, I always thought I was going to be young forever. I felt that way up until my early 20s. As I've hit my mid 20s, I realize that I am getting older and it is scary. I want to retain my youthful looks for as long as possible. My biggest fear of aging is having an old looking body. I know that they say age is just a number, but that number shows what you look like on the outside. Some people are blessed with good genes and look years younger than they are. I take a lot of vitamin supplements and sometimes I use facial creams because I want to retain my health and youth.



Max1951
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07 Jan 2019, 7:02 pm

MSBKyle wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
I'm afraid of aging not because of my looks but because I know that getting older brings me closer to death...


I'm actually the opposite. I am more afraid of aging than I am of death. At least if you die before you hit old age you don't have to deal with all of the physical and mental declines that come with advance aging. When I was a kid, I always thought I was going to be young forever. I felt that way up until my early 20s. As I've hit my mid 20s, I realize that I am getting older and it is scary. I want to retain my youthful looks for as long as possible. My biggest fear of aging is having an old looking body. I know that they say age is just a number, but that number shows what you look like on the outside. Some people are blessed with good genes and look years younger than they are. I take a lot of vitamin supplements and sometimes I use facial creams because I want to retain my health and youth.


Actually, as far as I can see, after you hit a certain age (and that age varies), that you pay for each additional year that you get, by shouldering some additional affliction. The braver you are; the more you can endure; the longer you live. Still, in my subjective opinion, having experienced both ages, I would have to say that being old is much more enjoyable for me than being young ever was. But, of course, fate turns on a dime. So enjoy "NOW" before it gets away :)



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07 Jan 2019, 7:15 pm

I'm only 28 and I'm already starting to have health problems. I had gallbladder surgery, I have a fatty liver, my eyesight is poor and I now have to wear glasses (which I hate), I think my hearing is bad now, and my blood preassure has been high and my heart rate has been high. Also lately I feel so tired during the day for no reason and I feel like passing out.

The older you get the more your health falls apart. And the fact that I'm not that old and yet my health is getting bad scares me. :(



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07 Jan 2019, 10:26 pm

If you have free or cheap healthcare, get checked out by a Dr. Your mom needn't know if she has a problem with it, as she seems to.


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07 Jan 2019, 10:41 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
If you have free or cheap healthcare, get checked out by a Dr. Your mom needn't know if she has a problem with it, as she seems to.

My mom doesn't like my current doctor because she keeps insisting nothing is wrong with me so she's trying to find another one. Plus it's hard to take me to the doctor when she's gone all the time.



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07 Jan 2019, 10:47 pm

Hope you and your mom can find a better one then, that cares about his or her patients.


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07 Jan 2019, 10:56 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
Hope you and your mom can find a better one then, that cares about his or her patients.

I'm wondering if I have something that's not being picked up on by tests? She's had me do a blood test several times and nothing seems to pick up. Plus I've been told it's not normal for my heart rate and blood preassure to get so high when I'm losing so much weight and colesterol. :|



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08 Jan 2019, 12:26 am

do you have high cholesterol as well as the sometimes high heart rate and BP?


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08 Jan 2019, 12:30 am

envirozentinel wrote:
do you have high cholesterol as well as the sometimes high heart rate and BP?

I did but my tests showed that it was dropping.



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08 Jan 2019, 8:47 am

All people fear illness, old age, and death. LGBT folk are certainly no different in that regard.



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08 Jan 2019, 9:14 am

Piobaire wrote:
All people fear illness, old age, and death. LGBT folk are certainly no different in that regard.

To be honest I don't think that's always true. A truly suicidal person can't wait to escape life, and some people who are truly devout in their religous belief aren't afraid of dying because they believe something better is waiting for them after death.

But yeah LGBT people are just like anybody else. I think what the OP means is that a lot of gay men are stereotyped as being rather vain and obsessing on youth as well as their looks.