How well do you cope with a change in routine?

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firemonkey
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24 Feb 2019, 7:31 am

How well do you cope with a change in routine? I've got into the routine of going supermarket shopping on a Sunday morning. However next Friday my stepdaughter and granddaughters are going on a week's holiday.

That means I either have to do an online shop, or my stepdaughter will take me shopping on Thursday.

This is throwing me a little as I am so used to shopping based on Sunday to Sunday. I'm wary of doing an online shop as I don't know whether they know how to get to the flat, and I struggle to give directions.


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BeaArthur
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24 Feb 2019, 3:29 pm

I don't cope with changes in routine well. To do so requires a lot of mental effort, which likely will cause my other routines to fall apart.

But I think you can get through this.


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blazingstar
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24 Feb 2019, 8:51 pm

I am not so good with routines....they get boring to me and I break them just to break them.

But I do hate it when plans change. If I were used to planning Sunday to Sunday, it would take considerable effort for me to sit down and figure out what I need and how much if I am going to shop on Thursday instead. That is part, I think, of the impaired Executive Functioning.

When these things happen, I can get very frustrated. Then my frustration makes what little brain power I have for even less. In order to make this change successfully I have to calm my brain, and think to myself "I can do this," instead of a panicked "OMG, I am totally unable to do this and my world will collapse and etc, etc."

I agree with Bea. Just sit down with a list, or how ever you do it and tack on the extra days. Repeat some menus. :D


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firemonkey
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25 Feb 2019, 3:53 am

blazingstar wrote:
If I were used to planning Sunday to Sunday, it would take considerable effort for me to sit down and figure out what I need and how much if I am going to shop on Thursday instead. That is part, I think, of the impaired Executive Functioning.



That describes it perfectly. My executive functioning, especially organising and planning, isn't good.


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nick007
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25 Feb 2019, 4:29 am

I don't like when plans & routines change but I used to handle them a lot worse than I do nowadays. My parents got into the habit of not telling me plans cuz I threw a fit(Aspie meltdown) when my parents changed things on me which they liked to do. Then I started throwing fits cuz I didn't have advance notice about things. However at one of my jobs my plans & routines changed a lot due to my supervisor or management pulling me off what I was working on. Also my current girlfriend changes plans around a lot sometimes cuz she has sever depression, bad anxiety, & fibromyalgia. It lead to lots of fights but we sort of found a compromise. We'll try to do things later in the day more often instead of her just canceling things for the day & changing it to another day; & I'll try not to get upset when things get moved to a later time or to another day.


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EzraS
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25 Feb 2019, 4:44 am

I do okay with it as long as it's not too unexpected.

Really my routine is mainly being on the Internet randomly going from one thing to another, so I just get back to it later.

However if I'm in the middle of something and get pulled away, I get pretty discombobulated and out of sorts.



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25 Feb 2019, 4:56 am

It depends on which routine, how badly it changes and why it changes.

I've forced myself to deal with all routine changes with my job since they just aren't under my control and when I feel like things change too much over there I just chant "you're doing this to get money, you're doing this to get money" to myself in my head, make it a necessary evil. I've gotten quite good at this, actually.

However, changes to my routines in my personal life are harder to handle since I'm an adult living alone. By all logic, I should have my life under my control... but sometimes mom calls and says she'll be here in twenty minutes even though it's time for me to go to the library. Or dad's at the door even though it's time for me to work on my fictional stories on my laptop. Or when I'm preparing for a weekend backed with my own plans on friday after work and then mom calls and starts to pester me to go to their place for the weekend... usually I just say no, though. I've told them over and over again to inform me at least the day before, preferably more than that, if they plan to come over or want me to go somewhere, but they just don't learn, especially dad.

Of course, not everything is their fault. I had trouble when the grocery store I mainly use closed down for a month because of renovation. I have trouble when the library is closed because of holidays on days that it normally wouldn't be. I have trouble if the grocery store doesn't have everything I went there for (or I forget something) and have to go again to get the missing stuff. I have trouble if I can't go to my morning walk on my days off since it's raining cats and dogs (well okay, I usually still go, it's just much shorter than it should be.)

Then there are bigger things that are breaks in my routines, but I've planned in advance. Big things, like going to visit someone or going to a doctor, cause me huge stress as they are but if the arrangement is made before hand it's not that bad for my routines. Just this morning I arranged myself a doctor's appointment for next monday and am already stressing about it, especially since it's in the middle of the day so I won't be able to relax all morning.



Joe90
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25 Feb 2019, 6:36 am

I don't live life by routine any more. Ever since I've moved out of my parents home I fail to follow a routine. But I prefer life this way, because then I won't feel anxious about change.

I suppose I get stressed and anxious if my comfort zone is disrupted, like if somebody was to move in like a relative of my boyfriend's, but if that did happen I'd get used to it.

I do like it when plans go well, but then I think most people do, especially if you've booked time off work to follow an arrangement and it doesn't go to plan.


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Ichinin
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25 Feb 2019, 11:32 am

Unplanned changes that could have been prevented, i scorn. Especially managers, like ones who KNOWS something takes time, like installing something or analyzing something that takes time, and still they cannot keep their ADHD in check and go out and do or promise something.

Once someone came around my office and started shouting that he wanted something done. I told him that, "well, if you go and promise that something will be complete in a day, then that is your call if you didn't even bother to check with me". The guy grumbled and went away. I did the work in half an hour and spent 2 days browsing eBay for stuff. Just to learn the f****r a lesson.


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livingwithautism
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25 Feb 2019, 7:44 pm

I get very upset.



kraftiekortie
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25 Feb 2019, 7:45 pm

I don't really react all that well, either.



Edna3362
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26 Feb 2019, 8:00 am

I'm good with gradual changes. Better with routine changes.
Not well with most types of sudden changes, not good with more subtle changes.

Though most at the time, it'll just confuse me.
While order and predictability just make them easier, only because they're classed off as explicitly done. Otherwise not much of a 'must have' if the occurrence of change is just as obvious, announced and explicit, whether it's done all out of the blue, unscheduled and unprepared.
At worst, it confuse me into frustration, otherwise would cope well right after. It doesn't upset me, it doesn't make me anxious, but it does annoy me.

I'd have no trouble with changing week's worth of plans. No problems jumping at some call unprepared. I don't like routines nor had the need for it. I'm fine with cancelled plans or surprise trips. I'm more than used to unpunctuality. I'm good with anything being added or removed as long as I could remember that it happened.
But not well if all the sudden someone passes my ongoing task unannounced and only told implicitly so far. The only way to clear this off is to know what is really going on, or someone had to be explicit about it.


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lostonearth35
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03 Mar 2019, 1:35 pm

Being the pessimist that I am, I often expect or worry that something will cause a sudden change that I can't always prevent or do anything about, like bad weather or someone else getting an illness. Although that's mostly when it's something I actually enjoy doing outside of the apartment, like shopping or going out to eat, than my usual daily routine.



BrokenPieces
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04 Mar 2019, 3:44 am

It's 50/50 for me. I can't strictly abide by routines but when my routine or plan is messed up, I'm generally just incredibly angry and moody. Think dragon.

Or, depending on what the plan is changed to, I might be very anxious. Especially if it involves travel.