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angelofdarkness
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21 May 2019, 5:13 pm

I had a friend,  who i confessed to that I liked him, he bolted out of the room and didn't say anything red in the face.  I kind of kept my distance from him confused/embarrassed, sicne he never said any thing else about it, for a few weeks. He came up to the one day when we were working and asked" how I was? Is everything okay?" I answered kind of bluntly since i was busy, which apparently he took wrong.  I have a mutual friend,  who asked him what was going on, and apprenrly he thought i was mad at him. He cried over me, thinking he ruined our friendship over everything, so she came up with the idea to go to the movies, and invite me along so we'd hang out. I kind of chatted with him about stuff while we were at work. I went to see avengers with him and our mutual friend, but apprently when i was on my phone he kept looking at me, like he was sorry and unsure how to act around me. I just keep talking to him,  like I would any other friend and he likes to apprently pick on me,  and laugh/askme for help with stocking stuff. I noticed he seems to say my name a lot, and ive caught him glancing in my direction,  like kf i walk past work when im off or occasionally when im busy . Is this jsut a sign we're good friends?


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Fnord
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21 May 2019, 6:30 pm

angelofdarkness wrote:
Why's he acting like this?
Have you asked him?


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angelofdarkness
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21 May 2019, 6:36 pm

Fnord wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
Why's he acting like this?
Have you asked him?


He wouldn't answer me if i did


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Fnord
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21 May 2019, 6:38 pm

angelofdarkness wrote:
Fnord wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
Why's he acting like this?
Have you asked him?
He wouldn't answer me if i did
Then why worry? If he's not talking to you, move on.

Besides, we don't know him, so we have no idea what he's thinking.


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jimmy m
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21 May 2019, 8:41 pm

Why is he acting like this?

No idea!! !. But you seem like your a little smitten with him and perhaps he is a little smitten with you. So it looks like you need to talk it out just between the two of you. Ask him if he would like to be more than just friends.


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22 May 2019, 4:34 am

jimmy m wrote:
Why is he acting like this?

No idea!! !. But you seem like your a little smitten with him and perhaps he is a little smitten with you. So it looks like you need to talk it out just between the two of you. Ask him if he would like to be more than just friends.
Exactly this. Although I don't know how this is going to happen. Since you already seem to have told him you like him, I guess you'll just have to ask him if he wants to date you. Things already seem to be a bit awkward between you at work, so I don't suppose you'd be running much of a risk. Worst that can happen is he quits, then they'll have to hire somebody else to replace him. Which is your employer's problem not yours.


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22 May 2019, 6:59 am

This is where mutual friends can be really useful.

Use your mutual friend as a mediator to try and find out what's really going on.


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angelofdarkness
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22 May 2019, 9:24 am

SaveFerris wrote:
This is where mutual friends can be really useful.

Use your mutual friend as a mediator to try and find out what's really going on.



I did, she said he thinks I'm mad at him, which he dont want and he wanted to talk to me, but wasn't sure how to get my attention. He cried over me because he thought he ruined our friendship after "everything " when i haven't known him long. He seemed unsure how to act around me, and kept looking at me like he was sorrry, my friend commented


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SaveFerris
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22 May 2019, 9:44 am

angelofdarkness wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
This is where mutual friends can be really useful.

Use your mutual friend as a mediator to try and find out what's really going on.



I did, she said he thinks I'm mad at him, which he dont want and he wanted to talk to me, but wasn't sure how to get my attention. He cried over me because he thought he ruined our friendship after "everything " when i haven't known him long. He seemed unsure how to act around me, and kept looking at me like he was sorrry, my friend commented


As the two of you can't sort this mess out on your own , get your mutual friend to explain that there has been a big misunderstanding and you and your male friend need to clear the air as you are both clearly not on the same page.

IMO you should fix your friendship first before you talk about taking it to next level ( which incidentally could be the problem with your male friend )


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MaxE
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22 May 2019, 10:57 am

SaveFerris wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
This is where mutual friends can be really useful.

Use your mutual friend as a mediator to try and find out what's really going on.



I did, she said he thinks I'm mad at him, which he dont want and he wanted to talk to me, but wasn't sure how to get my attention. He cried over me because he thought he ruined our friendship after "everything " when i haven't known him long. He seemed unsure how to act around me, and kept looking at me like he was sorrry, my friend commented
I disagree with the whole mutual friend thing at this point.

If he thinks you're angry but you're not, then approach him in private and tell him directly. Do you know where he lives? If so, maybe you should just go over there and ask him out for a walk. Then you can have a good conversation without the need for eye contact. The weather is getting better this time of year so maybe not a bad idea.


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22 May 2019, 11:06 am

Yeah! Stop the drama, quit playing games, and go talk to him!

:roll:


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SaveFerris
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22 May 2019, 12:15 pm

MaxE wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
This is where mutual friends can be really useful.

Use your mutual friend as a mediator to try and find out what's really going on.



I did, she said he thinks I'm mad at him, which he dont want and he wanted to talk to me, but wasn't sure how to get my attention. He cried over me because he thought he ruined our friendship after "everything " when i haven't known him long. He seemed unsure how to act around me, and kept looking at me like he was sorrry, my friend commented
I disagree with the whole mutual friend thing at this point.

If he thinks you're angry but you're not, then approach him in private and tell him directly.


This indeed would be the quickest and direct way to find out whats going on , maybe I was presumptuous in thinking the OP would have a problem asking him outright ?


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angelofdarkness
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22 May 2019, 12:27 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
MaxE wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
This is where mutual friends can be really useful.

Use your mutual friend as a mediator to try and find out what's really going on.



I did, she said he thinks I'm mad at him, which he dont want and he wanted to talk to me, but wasn't sure how to get my attention. He cried over me because he thought he ruined our friendship after "everything " when i haven't known him long. He seemed unsure how to act around me, and kept looking at me like he was sorrry, my friend commented
I disagree with the whole mutual friend thing at this point.

If he thinks you're angry but you're not, then approach him in private and tell him directly.


This indeed would be the quickest and direct way to find out whats going on , maybe I was presumptuous in thinking the OP would have a problem asking him outright ?


I did talk with him a little and explain i wasnt angry, that i merely zone out when i wasnt busy. I avoided the whole liking him thing to make things awkward sicne he jsut ran out the door before. It was my friends idea to go thw movies which he was acting off about when my friend wasnt there and i wasnt paying attention to him. He was apparently looking at me like he was sorry and not sure what ro say apprently she noticed.


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angelofdarkness
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22 May 2019, 1:19 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
This is where mutual friends can be really useful.

Use your mutual friend as a mediator to try and find out what's really going on.



I did, she said he thinks I'm mad at him, which he dont want and he wanted to talk to me, but wasn't sure how to get my attention. He cried over me because he thought he ruined our friendship after "everything " when i haven't known him long. He seemed unsure how to act around me, and kept looking at me like he was sorrry, my friend commented


As the two of you can't sort this mess out on your own , get your mutual friend to explain that there has been a big misunderstanding and you and your male friend need to clear the air as you are both clearly not on the same page.

IMO you should fix your friendship first before you talk about taking it to next level ( which incidentally could be the problem with your male friend )


I did explain to him that im not mad, and that i just have a bad habit of zoning out when im busy. He seemed to understand, and we jsut talked about some stuff like marvel or harry potter. Im doing my best to move on, with the whole stupid crush, sicne i feel theres pretty much no chance how he reacted


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jimmy m
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22 May 2019, 2:16 pm

I have learned over the years to never reject an opportunity out of hand. This is an opportunity. The basic simple question to ask him is, "Do you wish us to be more than friends."


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22 May 2019, 2:27 pm

He sounds a lot like me when I was young. Very immature, I knew I liked them, but didn't have a clue how to act on all those emotions. He is probably afraid to make a misstep and ruin things between you both. Perhaps you should take the first step like Jimmy has suggested.


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