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Radish
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29 Jul 2022, 10:29 am

First you must win an election to become the president of the United States or the British prime minister. It doesn't matter which country or party.

How do I learn to ride a bicycle?


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Matrix Glitch
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03 Aug 2022, 4:14 am

The easiest way to learn how to ride a bicycle, is to learn how to ride a unicycle blindfolded while juggling.

How do I make fire shoot out of my nostrils?



Edna3362
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03 Aug 2022, 4:38 am

Turn yourself into a set of nose, replace your mucus with gas, then some flint and what not for cilia...


How do you make a broken man?


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Radish
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03 Aug 2022, 6:07 am

Marry him!

How do you eat oysters?


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Matrix Glitch
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04 Aug 2022, 1:54 am

Through a paper straw.

What does "let them eat cake" mean?



Radish
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04 Aug 2022, 4:04 am

It means the peasants have run out of caviar and prime steak so must live on cattle cake i.e. turnips.

Why is Black Forest Gateau so tempting?


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Matrix Glitch
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04 Aug 2022, 4:21 am

Because it's a manifestation of Satan.

Why do moths fly around lights?



Radish
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04 Aug 2022, 5:02 am

They are trying to get a tan.

Why do dogs chase cats?


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Edna3362
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04 Aug 2022, 6:47 am

Cats actually owes dogs a lot of debt. And cats refuses to pay with interests.


What is a wild card?


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Radish
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04 Aug 2022, 7:06 am

Here is a wild card:

Image

Why is the world round?


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Matrix Glitch
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04 Aug 2022, 7:40 am

The world is the offspring of a gigantic galactic beachball.

Why is Italy shaped like a boot?



Radish
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05 Aug 2022, 5:24 am

Because it is where football lives.

What is the best way to deal with salesmen knocking at the door?


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Where_am_I
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10 Aug 2022, 5:37 pm

Whack them with an inflatable radish.

Why do we experience post gig comedowns?


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Radish
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11 Aug 2022, 10:01 am

It's because the price of bananas has gone up.

What should I do about my enormous electricity bill?


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Murihiku
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14 Aug 2022, 8:40 am

I'll pay it, no problem! (Note the thread title before you get too excited. :P)

Why are there candles on birthday cakes?


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It is easy to go down into Hell;
Night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide;
But to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air –
There's the rub, the task.


– Virgil, The Aeneid (Book VI)


Radish
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15 Aug 2022, 3:45 am

An extra candle each year serves as a reminder that you are one year closer to your cremation.

Why did the cow jump over the moon?


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