Do women enjoy being patronised/looking like children?

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KT67
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06 Feb 2021, 7:41 am

Sounds absurd but I keep hearing it.

Mostly from either women who are way too old to remember or from guys, esp cis guys.

Surely a woman in her 30s with two degrees would like to be seen as a woman in her 20s or 30s with two degrees? Or at least treated as an intelligent adult?

Otherwise what's the point of earning them...

Surely intelligent women don't like being patronised/infantalised?

I get that this might be a gender thing which I, as a trans guy, don't understand. After all, women tend to want to be slim more than they want to be muscular for eg.

But no woman in my life who is under about 70 says it. They like being told 'you look 10 years younger' when they're in their 50s but meh... I know guys on here (all over 50) who've thanked me for the compliment saying that! :lol: Doesn't mean you're not into being treated an adult!

My theory is: 1 guys say it to get away with doing it without feeling guilty and 2 old women do it because they're getting 'looking 21' and 'looking 15' mixed up in their minds (I'm 32, to me a 71 yo guy and a 74 yo guy are much of a muchness...) & in their day, because marriage/beauty was more important than education and an educated woman (or even anyone) was rare, 21 is a kind of dream to them. I can understand a widow wanting to be a blushing bride but I can't really understand an educated person, or actually any adult without severe special needs, wanting to be treated like a child.


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kraftiekortie
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06 Feb 2021, 7:52 am

I wouldn’t want to be treated like a child. That would be ridiculous.



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06 Feb 2021, 8:33 am

At first I thought the idea was ridiculous.
But there may be something to it.
The sexual ideal, force fed via mags and ads (and porn), is a teen girl with firm breasts, long legs etc.
We call "our" women baby. (Well not in my country, but still)
The norm (for some reason) is that the man should be taller and older than the woman.
Traditionally men worked and provided, while the women took care of the home. I'm not saying it's less worth cooking and cleaning nb, but if the man earns all the money it's kind of an allowance for the woman.
And there's fertility. And I think this is a reason for some of the things above, men are wired to look for women who can "give them" children.

/Mats


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06 Feb 2021, 1:59 pm

I wish to be treated as I am. Not as more, or as less. I have been patronised quite a bit by a few individuals throughout the course of my secondary school years, and it has been painful. See me for what I am - a mature, intelligent, hardworking teenager - rather than what you want me to be (a sweet, naïve child). (I am nonbinary, but I tend to feel more comfortable in feminine or androgynous gender expression, which is why I'm giving my thoughts.)


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Fnord
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06 Feb 2021, 2:40 pm

Not all women enjoy any one particular type of behavior.


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06 Feb 2021, 3:08 pm

There are all sorts of strange and wonderful dynamics in this world.
Also, a wide variety of kinks.

I believe some woman like feeling like an innocent child. Without degrading the idea into something sexual.
Perhaps the woman like feeling like their safe and secure while being treated like an child by a man.

There may also be some super clever woman who like to be treated like a bimbo, as it is a way to escape their reality.
Bit of variety may make them happy.

I also have heard how certain high powered woman and men who work in law enforcement / law, frequent
a S and M club where they pay thug like men to treat them rough without real danger of getting really hurt.
A friend of mine was offered a job once, paying £1k per week, to be one of the thugs. He didn't take it, but thought about it.

Well, i guess, people of all sorts all have different fantasies, which often are different to their normal day to day reality.
Personally, although I am not a woman. I am not into treating woman as children.

In fact, it makes me cringe. My ex-wife tried to get me to do all sorts of crazy bs. Like treating her like a school girl.
Or be overly rough, or other more intense fantasies.

Wasn't into it. Don't mind variety but there is a line for me that i don't like to cross.
especially if you don't trust the woman. Which i don't, and time has proven me right.



dragonsanddemons
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06 Feb 2021, 3:39 pm

I can say that I don’t. I’m almost 28 and regularly get asked what grade I’m in (uh, I graduated college six years ago). Of course, it’s also obvious to most people that something’s “different” about me, so I also get treated like I’m about five because of that sometimes :roll:


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06 Feb 2021, 3:52 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
I can say that I don’t. I’m almost 28 and regularly get asked what grade I’m in (uh, I graduated college six years ago). Of course, it’s also obvious to most people that something’s “different” about me, so I also get treated like I’m about five because of that sometimes :roll:

Whenever I'm in public during school hours even people close to my age will ask me what I'm doing not at school, and ask me what grade I'm in like I'm significantly younger than they are. :x


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DuckHairback
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06 Feb 2021, 3:58 pm

I'm not all women so I can't say for sure. I'm not even 'a' woman so this may have no value at all. I suspect the answer is going to be "Some do and some don't." And those that do, possibly not all the time, and not by everyone.

I can suggest a reason why some women might, sometimes and by some people. Growing older, in my experience, might be linear temporally, but not necessarily emotionally. I find I still have much of the emotional instability I had when I was much younger. The only difference is I now have some skills and experience, not to mention responsibilities and dependants, so my outward behaviour is more 'adult'. I don't know that there's much more to growing up than that.

And it's an effort, to not behave like the child I feel like a lot of the time. And if someone came along, who wanted to relieve me of a bit of that effort, who would indulge more childish behaviour in me, I can see how it would be tempting to fall into that role.



Eurythmic
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07 Feb 2021, 2:17 am

KT67 wrote:

Surely a woman in her 30s with two degrees would like to be seen as a woman in her 20s or 30s with two degrees? Or at least treated as an intelligent adult?

Otherwise what's the point of earning them...

Surely intelligent women don't like being patronised/infantalised?



I don't think anyone who is an adult would enjoy being patronised or made to look childish.
An adult is an adult, capable of sensible rational though.
Nobody cares how many degrees they have though.



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07 Feb 2021, 5:45 am

I don't, and neither do the women I know. However, I have read that in some cultures it's not uncommon for women to aim to look and act a little childlike because it's considered "cute" there. Nothing wrong with it I suppose as long as they're doing it because they want to.



Gaffer Gragz
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07 Feb 2021, 6:09 am

I also think its an expression of power, as a male i can confirm that females of different ages has different 'allures' when it comes to signalling *how it looks like/appear* biological fertility (this has nothing to do with actual state of ovaries it happens with trans also). People pick and choose how they want to appear and signal. This is not necessarily an mental thing but also instinctively. As far as i can see and understand people do a selection consciously, subconsciously, and old biology stomps in and meddle with quite a lot of authority.

If you want to be free of nature and biology, wear a black bodysuit that is thick, like 3 inch/10 cm thick (think a wetsuit but thicker), and you may have a chance that you appear human without singling something, dont add colours or ribbons or belts or anything bc then some indeviduals will start taking cues unconsciously bc of bl*** biology comes and meddle again.

Edit: Fytterakkarn how hard it is to communicate in another language sometimes ...



KT67
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07 Feb 2021, 2:01 pm

Eurythmic wrote:
KT67 wrote:

Surely a woman in her 30s with two degrees would like to be seen as a woman in her 20s or 30s with two degrees? Or at least treated as an intelligent adult?

Otherwise what's the point of earning them...

Surely intelligent women don't like being patronised/infantalised?



I don't think anyone who is an adult would enjoy being patronised or made to look childish.
An adult is an adult, capable of sensible rational though.
Nobody cares how many degrees they have though.


If my family's anything to go by that's not actually true.

It's just that you're taught to be a liberal & liberals shouldn't act like it makes a difference so it's not talked about in polite conversation.

In private it does.

My stepdad will forever be jealous of my stepsister because she's Dr [their surname] and he's just Mr [Their Surname] MA. I will forever admire her more for being Dr [her surname] than if she was just plain old Ms.


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KT67
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07 Feb 2021, 2:08 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I can say that I don’t. I’m almost 28 and regularly get asked what grade I’m in (uh, I graduated college six years ago). Of course, it’s also obvious to most people that something’s “different” about me, so I also get treated like I’m about five because of that sometimes :roll:

Whenever I'm in public during school hours even people close to my age will ask me what I'm doing not at school, and ask me what grade I'm in like I'm significantly younger than they are. :x


I'm 32 and still get it.

"He looks about 12" is deemed a massive insult.

I don't get why "she looks about 12" doesn't have the same stigma...

Of course what two people who know each other are adults choose to do at a club or in the privacy of their own homes is different. Heck certain fetishes have them pretend to be a baby. But it's all choice and it's not sprung onto strangers in public.

I treat people who look like teenagers or young adults as asexual adults until I know differently. That means: with respect and without flirting. I'm s**t at guessing ages - the only thing that will clue me into 'I'm not a kid' is: jobs, conversation, wrinkles or grey hair.


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KT67
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07 Feb 2021, 2:14 pm

Gaffer Gragz wrote:
I also think its an expression of power, as a male i can confirm that females of different ages has different 'allures' when it comes to signalling *how it looks like/appear* biological fertility (this has nothing to do with actual state of ovaries it happens with trans also). People pick and choose how they want to appear and signal. This is not necessarily an mental thing but also instinctively. As far as i can see and understand people do a selection consciously, subconsciously, and old biology stomps in and meddle with quite a lot of authority.

If you want to be free of nature and biology, wear a black bodysuit that is thick, like 3 inch/10 cm thick (think a wetsuit but thicker), and you may have a chance that you appear human without singling something, dont add colours or ribbons or belts or anything bc then some indeviduals will start taking cues unconsciously bc of bl*** biology comes and meddle again.

Edit: Fytterakkarn how hard it is to communicate in another language sometimes ...


I get the fertility thing but surely a 21 yo is equally fertile to a 14 yo and also: 1 sexually available legally and 2 more sexually desirable to most guys (lesbians, whatever)? She has perky boobs but they're full sized. She has shaved down below* (when it comes to that) but it's shaved and an active choice rather than no growth. She lacks wrinkles but also lacks acne. If she's cis and you're a cis guy and you get together, she can both have your baby and raise it well.

I see the early 20s as the desirable age. And a compliment to women if you say 'you look 10 years younger'. But saying 'you look like a school kid' isn't.

* I'm trying to keep this in the social skills section rather than the adult section :lol:


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lostonearth35
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07 Feb 2021, 2:17 pm

I guess I'm not a woman, then. :roll:

I swear, the internet and nearly all social media is about 90% adolescent males whose brains are ravaged by hormones, or they're incels, or both. They say the most misogynistic and disgusting things because they don't have to show their real identity. Things like "sigh...unzips" when they see a photo of a girl. Or if a girl has an interest in sports, they'll demand they name all the players in a team in order to prove they're into sports, which is something they wouldn't ask a male. They'll say women need to stay in the kitchen, but only if it's a household kitchen. If it's a five-star restaurant kitchen, forget it!

And now, because most people on WP are male, you're going to deny, protest, and tell me why I'm wrong, or even call me a feminazi. But if women didn't fight so hard for their rights throughout history, we probably wouldn't even be allowed to vote or the the house without a man today. At least in most western countries.