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Jakki
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21 Mar 2021, 2:13 pm

cyberdad wrote:
TenMinutes wrote:
Rhetorical question, because I'm just here to b***h LOL.

I've discovered that "I'm here for you" means "If you ever come to me with important plans and you're looking for support or for alternative suggestions, I'm going to get irritated with you for endangering my vacation and turn the conversation into you having to reassure me I'm still going to get my vacation."

Or possibly it means "We're never going to speak again f**k you bye LOL."


In the NT world it literally means "please only come to me if you are really desperate and have nobody else to turn to and nowhere else to go"

Its about as meaningful as "let's do lunch"


More likely they say let’s do lunch sometime ..... which is not a genuine statement ... but it’s the ( thought)
Or aggravation of it . :x


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21 Mar 2021, 8:59 pm

If it is the thought that counts, then insincere phrases like "I am here for you" sure do not count for much.


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30 Mar 2021, 6:36 pm

I once saw a English-as-a-second-language speaker as a question on a forum:
When you go into a shop and someone asks "how are you?" do they mean it?

Most answers were to the effect "no they do not mean it" - but I thought the answer had to do with degree instead of "mean it" or "not mean it".

I thought of that ad where a bunch of guys who look like the cast of Sha-Na-Na walk into a bar and say "how you doing?" to which someone replies "how you doing?" and it goes on like this until they get to the one guy with a broad middle american accent who replies with a loud "I'm doing fine! I just got in from ..." and the proceeds to tell everyone exactingly how he is doing for a number of minutes. Then someone else walks in and the entire scene repeats.

If I work in a shop and ask someone who comes in "how are you?" I do actually care, but I don't really want to hear all the details - I want them to know that since I work at that store I want the store's customers to be happy with the service.

I think "I'm here for you" might mean more than you think but not as much as you hope.

My mother was one to speak with absolute surety and honesty - but what was honest was that was what she was thinking and feeling at that moment. If she later did something else it was simply that she had started feeling or thinking something else - so that was not what she was honest about. This was only a problem for people who didn't know her and would sometimes take her literally for her word.

After all - it would be hard for someone to say "I'm here for you" if they were, in fact, someplace else at the time.
But later they might really be someplace else - physically or emotionally.

So the being there may simply be a matter of degree - not a mater of "true or false". Maybe even a "spectrum".


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Jakki
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31 Mar 2021, 9:58 am

A spectrum of “ I am here for you “. Had not ever thought of that.


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31 Mar 2021, 10:01 am

The people who are REALLY "Here for you" are those who show it by their actions.

Those who only tell you they are "Here for you" are more interested in being believed than in demonstrating their compassion / concern / empathy / interest / whatever...


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Jakki
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31 Mar 2021, 6:52 pm

Am. Thinking “ I am here for you” is more of a platitude than a genuine sentiment


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TenMinutes
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03 Apr 2021, 1:25 pm

carryon_kate wrote:
I'm here for you is full of crap. People say it over and over but they never really mean it. When you're actually struggling they ignore you.


As a matter of fact, now that I am actually in need, there is a disturbing lack of curiosity about how I'm doing. It would be nice if someone even would f***ing ask.



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03 Apr 2021, 8:57 pm

Jakki wrote:
Am. Thinking “ I am here for you” is more of a platitude than a genuine sentiment
It ranks with "Praying for you", "Sending good thoughts", "Have a nice day", and "Cheer up".

All pointless and insincere.


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Jakki
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03 Apr 2021, 9:37 pm

This thread and it’s responses is starting to make feel cynical ...... for what it’s worth , when people say a prayer for you , I prefer to believe that they intend to . Inspite of being a cynic often . When I think to say I will pray for someone . I actually take the moment and offer a prayer for for them . :D


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