Page 1 of 4 [ 57 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

TenMinutes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2021
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 504

08 Mar 2021, 3:50 am

Rhetorical question, because I'm just here to b***h LOL.

I've discovered that "I'm here for you" means "If you ever come to me with important plans and you're looking for support or for alternative suggestions, I'm going to get irritated with you for endangering my vacation and turn the conversation into you having to reassure me I'm still going to get my vacation."

Or possibly it means "We're never going to speak again f**k you bye LOL."



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 75,112
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Mar 2021, 8:59 am

The can also mean one is sincerely desiring to be your friend.

I don’t get that phrase said to me too often.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 48,227
Location: Stendec

08 Mar 2021, 9:22 am

When they say: "I am here for you."

You hear: "I am your friend, and I will support you emotionally and financially, if necessary."

They really mean: "Stop complaining and work it out for yourself."


_________________
 Link to Official List of Trump's Attrocities 

45OFFICE = TRE45ON
Lock Him Up!


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

08 Mar 2021, 9:27 am

Also means 'I want to virtue signal/play the hero but when it's too serious a thing I will then be capable of knowing something is out of my depth'.

I don't say it.

People say it open ended on Twitter 'dms are always open' then act surprised when they're faced with issues too complicated for them.

I'm not a counsellor.

I will help people where I have experience in the area and they're similar to me, but otherwise I just offer platitudes. Don't want to do more harm than good.


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


TenMinutes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2021
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 504

08 Mar 2021, 9:31 am

Fnord wrote:
When they say: "I am here for you."

You hear: "I am your friend, and I will support you emotionally and financially, if necessary."

They really mean: "Stop complaining and work it out for yourself."


Is that actually true? Is this an uncharitable reading of the one that I got, or is this usually what is meant? I assumed it meant "I am your friend and I will support you", and that in my case they just didn't mean it, or hoped I wouldn't take them up on it, or maybe they even meant it but when it came time to actually be supportive, they didn't have it in them.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 48,227
Location: Stendec

08 Mar 2021, 9:38 am

TenMinutes wrote:
Fnord wrote:
When they say: "I am here for you."

You hear: "I am your friend, and I will support you emotionally and financially, if necessary."

They really mean: "Stop complaining and work it out for yourself."
Is that actually true? Is this an uncharitable reading of the one that I got, or is this usually what is meant? I assumed it meant "I am your friend and I will support you", and that in my case they just didn't mean it, or hoped I wouldn't take them up on it, or maybe they even meant it but when it came time to actually be supportive, they didn't have it in them.
This is the consistent pattern of behavior I have observed in my own 60+ years of life from clergy, friends, relatives, siblings, and parents.  First they tell me that I can count on them, then they show me that I cannot.  It is a pattern that repeats itself over and over again.  Because of this, I have learned that no one can help me as much as I can help myself.

I have also learned that when I turn down those same people when they come to me for help, their usual response is along the lines of, "Wasn't I always there for you?"

My response?

"No.  You were not.  Ever."


_________________
 Link to Official List of Trump's Attrocities 

45OFFICE = TRE45ON
Lock Him Up!


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 75,112
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Mar 2021, 9:43 am

I haven’t had that experience.

I feel that people are mostly sincere when they say this sort of thing.

Sometimes, though, they might have gotten in over their heads when they said that phrase.

I, myself, don’t rely on other people too much.



TenMinutes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2021
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 504

08 Mar 2021, 9:44 am

TenMinutes wrote:
Is that actually true?...


I ask because I recently concluded that "I didn't have time" meant "I don't want to spend time on you", and I thought I was being cynical, but it turns out that it is, in fact, the accepted way to politely reject someone.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 48,227
Location: Stendec

08 Mar 2021, 9:49 am

TenMinutes wrote:
TenMinutes wrote:
Is that actually true?...
I ask because I recently concluded that "I didn't have time" meant "I don't want to spend time on you", and I thought I was being cynical, but it turns out that it is, in fact, the accepted way to politely reject someone.
I heard that, and "Maybe later" or "Some other time" a lot too.  This all ranks up there with "Sending thoughts and prayers" for someone in need instead of actually doing something to help them -- the person speaking gets a warm, fuzzy feeling from knowing that they appear kind and compassionate when they actually would not give a flying f███ if you dropped dead in some dark alley somewhere.


_________________
 Link to Official List of Trump's Attrocities 

45OFFICE = TRE45ON
Lock Him Up!


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,866
Location: Australia

08 Mar 2021, 10:15 am

TenMinutes wrote:
Fnord wrote:
[color=black]When they say: "I am here for you."

You hear: "I am your friend, and I will support you emotionally and financially, if necessary."

They really mean: "Stop complaining and work it out for yourself."


Is that actually true? Is this an uncharitable reading of the one that I got, or is this usually what is meant? I assumed it meant "I am your friend and I will support you", and that in my case they just didn't mean it, or hoped I wouldn't take them up on it, or maybe they even meant it but when it came time to actually be supportive, they didn't have it in them.


NTs often make insincere gestures, and when you take them up on it, they look at you as though you were stupid to think they were serious. 8O

It can sometimes be a genuine offer of support.
It really depends on the person. 8)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. "Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions." I didn't say that. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many on the left pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


!


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,866
Location: Australia

08 Mar 2021, 10:19 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I haven’t had that experience.

I feel that people are mostly sincere when they say this sort of thing.

Sometimes, though, they might have gotten in over their heads when they said that phrase.

I, myself, don’t rely on other people too much.


I think most people are disingenuous, but not all.

I pretty much *never* fully rely on other people.
The only person you can is yourself. 8)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. "Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions." I didn't say that. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many on the left pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


!


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 48,227
Location: Stendec

08 Mar 2021, 10:20 am

Of course, "I am here for you" could also mean that the Uber driver is texting you to let you know he has arrived.

Image


_________________
 Link to Official List of Trump's Attrocities 

45OFFICE = TRE45ON
Lock Him Up!


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,866
Location: Australia

08 Mar 2021, 10:21 am

Fnord wrote:
TenMinutes wrote:
TenMinutes wrote:
Is that actually true?...
I ask because I recently concluded that "I didn't have time" meant "I don't want to spend time on you", and I thought I was being cynical, but it turns out that it is, in fact, the accepted way to politely reject someone.
I heard that, and "Maybe later" or "Some other time" a lot too.  This all ranks up there with "Sending thoughts and prayers" for someone in need instead of actually doing something to help them -- the person speaking gets a warm, fuzzy feeling from knowing that they appear kind and compassionate when they actually would not give a flying f███ if you dropped dead in some dark alley somewhere.


I know the feeling intimately. 8O


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. "Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions." I didn't say that. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many on the left pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


!


blazingstar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2017
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,631

08 Mar 2021, 12:26 pm

I'd have to agree that most of the time when someone says, You can count on me," it is pretty much garbage. Just like when people say good-bye and add "See you later," or "Talk to you later," is pretty meaningless.

There have been countless people who have helped me at various times in my life, but they have not been people who stated anything. These people just showed up and did the right thing. Different people over a life span. Not people who were even friends, or I even knew well. Thinking about these people can bring me to tears.

I learned very young (six) that I was on my own in this world. For the most part that is true. I never knew or counted on the unexpected help from others.


_________________
paralysis by over-analysis


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 75,112
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Mar 2021, 2:18 pm

I didn't understand the concept of "relying on other people" until I was a teenager. I didn't know what that meant. I was too "into" myself.

I got lucky a few times with people. When I had no home, some friend took me in, and allowed me to look for an apartment. It wasn't obligatory--he wouldn't have been less of a friend had he refused. I was lucky he didn't refuse, though.

I don't believe in "obligation," whatsoever. I'm not "obligated" to do anything for anybody. And nobody is obligated to do anything for me.

I feel like most people care about others at a certain level----but usually don't want to allow other people to upset their routine.

There are "true altruists" out there. I don't fit that category. I'm more into the "enlightened self-interest" thing without being bitchy about it. I believe in treating people like I want to be treated.



killerBunny
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2015
Age: 40
Posts: 110

08 Mar 2021, 3:35 pm

It is a typical non sequitur that means the person is ready to offer **** but the intent only applies to the day mentioned .

It is just is a nice way to say good luck.

Unless it is preceded by something specific that you can bring up ... It doesn't mean anything