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KT67
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17 Mar 2021, 8:12 am

Just so Americans and anyone else who wants to act smug and like a luddite know...

There's been three lockdowns here over the last year.

Hardly anyone has been meeting up with friends or acquaintances over the last year or so.

"Duh why not go out more" is not the NT hot take it was in 2019, it just makes you look stupid when you recommend that.

Bear in mind the advice usually came from extroverted and stupid NTs to begin with and only worked for similarly generic and stupid types. Start to use better advice. Even for intelligent NTs 'find a few clubs to go to that match your hobbies' was better advice in 2019 than the generic insult 'you need to get out more'.

Why was 'you need to get out more' such a common insult? Because it was an autism coded insult to begin with. It was all about people with more hobbies and obsessions than friends. It was based on a stupid person's assumption that if you only went out to more nightclubs and pubs you would get more friends. Quantity over quality, stop being so much in your own head... (where the hell else can I be then)

Nah. In 2019, if you're lonely, do clubs and hobbies that match your interests. In 2021, I long to find websites which match my skills and hobbies. I find good friendship when I do that.

The way I see it there are more opportunities for better conversations on the world wide web anyway. People around you irl are luck of the draw to a certain extent. I moved to this town cos it was younger, more liberal & more arty but before that, my offline world was people I did not want to be friends with and who did not fit my demographic.

Once the virus is gone I'll go back to doing clubs, activities and courses which hopefully attract similar type people. But right now? I do not/cannot safely have those interactions and I do not appreciate being made to feel weird on an autism forum over that.


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NaturalEntity
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17 Mar 2021, 3:21 pm

Agreed.


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KT67
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17 Mar 2021, 4:54 pm

I actively tried another approach today.

Still online cos Covid.

I went on an art forum.

It was a more pleasant way to spend time than on my usual sites tbh. Stuff I feel positive about. Not the same old political arguments that I'm getting sick of.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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17 Mar 2021, 5:16 pm

There are advantages and disadvantages of going out

Not everyone needs or wants the same amount of social interaction

Anyone can say whatever they want

Not everyone is having sex with the boss

Going out is overrated

You don't have to if you don't want to



KT67
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18 Mar 2021, 7:06 am

Not many advantages atm.

Too risky.

Except how I do it.

Which has been a massive help.

I've been walking round the park or even just round the streets. Even into town to have a look at the architecture of the old shops - only when it's quiet though.

First lockdown I couldn't do that.

I was literally just indoors or in the garden. For six weeks.

Probably bad for my mental health: it's best I get fresh air not just in my garden. Felt a bit like a prisoner by the end of it.

My generation isn't going to be allowed the vaccine for ages.

They're destroying samples! :x Rather than giving them to people in their thirties. :x


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Mountain Goat
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18 Mar 2021, 7:36 am

What sort of hobbies do you have?


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KT67
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18 Mar 2021, 10:43 am

Art, writing and reading.

I used to be a member of a book club, do an art course, the odd art appreciation course and do a writing course.

Those gave me access to people whilst we talked about things other than each other and produced things or enjoyed something that someone had produced.

I'm going on Wet Canvas forum now, just as a lurker.

They're somewhat in between hobbies and life to me, something I'm sure a lot of aspies on here can understand.

I looked at Deviant Art but it's mired in the same controversies that social media is full of. I'm kind of fed up of debating the same stuff over and over tbh.

Not to say I don't enjoy reading/written participation in debate. There was one on Wet Canvas I was reading today which was about photo-realism and whether it is superior, inferior or just another kind of art.


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