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MidnightRose
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Joined: 9 Feb 2021
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21 Mar 2021, 8:40 pm

Due to people having jobs and stuff my dad was leaving his St. Patrick's Day celebrations for the weekend. I was invited to tag along, it was him, his girlfriend, and some of their friends. I initially didn't want to go, but I kind of said to myself "why not?" and decided to. The day basically consisted of us going through the center of town stopping at different bars. You know, St. Patrick's Day.

It was going pretty well, and I actually felt pretty good. But the lack of any kind of schedule, the night just seemed to get longer and longer, being around a lot of stimulus for so long, people not sticking to what we had agreed to, etc. for hours eventually wore me down. I ended the night feeling exhausted, pretty frustrated, and not particularly happy with anyone there. Waiting until I'm at the end of my rope makes the whole night retroactively suck in my head and makes me not want to socialize in the future. I think if you're going to some social event where you know you could get frustrated/exhausted you should always have some kind of exit-strategy ready and leave before you get to the point where you can't stand being there anymore. I mean, you're definitely not sending out good vibes to people when you're in that state, so there's no point sticking it out to "be social" you know?



Juliette
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22 Mar 2021, 7:19 pm

Very well put. Couldn’t agree more. Always have an exit strategy. Some acquaintances on the spectrum I’ve had just don’t do social events with family or work colleagues. One tried hard to fit in by initially going along to an out of working hours drinks and chat get together, but he needed to make his excuses and leave after a short time as he couldn’t deal with the work/not work aspect with those same people thing. He was extremely good at his job. Similarly, he couldn’t and wouldn’t remain in his own house if anyone came to stay over(eg his wife’s parents or friends). He would need to move to the barn. He simply couldn’t cope and would fall apart with the change to his environment.

Some of us cope better than others with these situations. Once you’ve had enough and it stops being enjoyable, that’s the time to say goodnight and head home.



Fnord
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22 Mar 2021, 7:32 pm

One useful exit strategy is to have a friend call you at a specific time, so that the following conversation can take place...

You: "Hello?"

She: "This is that rescue call you wanted. How's it going?"

You: "Accident? How bad?"

She: "That awful, huh? Now say, 'Arterial bleeding'."

You: "Arterial bleeding? The spurty kind?"

She: "Yep. That's the one! Listen, I can pick you up, and..."

You: "No, that's alright. I'm leaving now!"

She: "Okay ... nice plan, by the way."

You: "Thanks. Bye."

<* click *>

You: "Sorryeveryonegottagonowveryimportantbye!"

Then you leave.  Works every time, but only if you drove yourself.


:D


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