Question about having sadism and ASD at the same time

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FranzOren
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Earthbound_Alien
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06 Apr 2021, 9:30 pm

I can get similar thoughts when I am angry but I have to also remember it is just anger and pain and hurt, i don't act on them.

The world has been creul to me sometimes but that is the way this world works...there is a lot of sadism out there.

Just see them (he thoughs) for what they are...the manifestation of pain from past abuse and move on from them.

Let them go. Let them go, if only for yourself. The world is not always a nice place.



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06 Apr 2021, 9:34 pm

FranzOren wrote:
So, I need to learn about the fact that I just had an hallucination that I downloaded child porn and I am paranoid about it, especially because the police explained to my parents that I did nothing wrong.

But I am sexually attracted to children though. Is my case harmless?

I hope that I understand you better.


The little ones don't have the awareness to know..don't mess the little ones up, the world as it is will mess them up enough.

Never act on it please.



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06 Apr 2021, 9:35 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
As long as you didn't REALLY download child porn, you're okay.

As long as you keep your fantasies to yourself, you're okay.

It's not okay when you actually try to fulfill those fantasies with actual children.


I second this, as do, I am sure, many others.



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06 Apr 2021, 9:38 pm

FranzOren wrote:
It makes sense! But I felt like I hallucinated that I did something wrong.


Sweet heart if you are hallucinating such things please speak to someone..I don't know whom, the system is fu**ed..

I am so sorry petal

And please exucse my over familiarity.

If its ocd override it. Just be sure of yourself. Hang on in there.



FranzOren
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06 Apr 2021, 10:37 pm

Thank you! I understood.



FranzOren
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07 Apr 2021, 12:11 am

I always fantasize about killing my former bullies.

I have been made fun of for having Learning Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I felt very betrayed and I feel very hurt!

I have history of being a victim for being made fun of, but now I just want to beat my former bullies, Even though it was in elementary school. That is how upset, depressed and angry I am for being made fun of for having Learning Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I am sorry that I told you all this! I needed to let all my anger out!

I am looking to seek therapy for my anger problems and emotional trauma.



FranzOren
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07 Apr 2021, 7:33 am

I also contacted the FBI on Instagram about my mental health issues.

I am afraid that I will one day be so angry that I might snap and act on my fantasies.

I don't trust myself!

It's not just therapy, I would get psychological evaluations.



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07 Apr 2021, 9:59 am

FranzOren wrote:
I also contacted the FBI on Instagram about my mental health issues.

I am afraid that I will one day be so angry that I might snap and act on my fantasies.

I don't trust myself!

It's not just therapy, I would get psychological evaluations.


Police aren't your friend, they're not who is appropriate to contact if you're struggling with mental health concerns.

How possible is it that you would act on these fantasies? Do you have the opportunity to act on them or do you just fantasize about it?

Next time you have that fantasy consider it dealt with, your spirit took vengeance on theirs and now you're avenged. Instead of remaining angry or worried afterwards treat it as something that's now resolved. Desiring further revenge will keep you angry, feeling you've taken sufficient revenge will allow for closure. If you have to experience these fantasies you might as well try to use them to your own benefit to move on.

It's not fair that you're still being hurt by your bullies but at this point they're not actually doing the tormenting so you need to learn ways of dealing with those leftover feelings. The fantasies of revenge are a method your brain is trying to use to deal with them but revisiting the same scenario over and over again won't bring you closure. Eventually you have to accept that it's settled.


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FranzOren
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07 Apr 2021, 10:53 am

Thank you!

I though that police officers are trained to handle people who have mental health crisis, even the psychotic ones that caused you to commit crimes that you otherwise would not commit.


I remember that I pointed out in other threads that I felt ashamed of myself for committing a crime when I was psychotic at that time, for one month, at the age of fifteen. I felt so bad that I just wanted to text police station on Facebook messenger and I sent them my own website of how it felt like to have psychosis and it explains but not justify the violent crime I committed.

Every time I read my IEP records of the violence I committed, I start to have depressive episode and feel so guilty for what I have done.


One of my links I sent to police officers that are important:

https://www.quora.com/Is-committing-cri ... -one-month

The my link that I sent to the FBI are:

https://www.quora.com/What-does-an-epis ... Oren-Franz



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07 Apr 2021, 10:57 am

FranzOren wrote:
Thank you!

I though that police officers are trained to handle people who have mental health crisis, even the psychotic ones that caused you to commit crimes that you otherwise would not commit.


No, their job is to enforce laws. Sometimes local cops have a degree of familiarity because they've received some training, or because they've had to learn those skills on their own but those people don't typically work for the feds.


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FranzOren
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07 Apr 2021, 10:59 am

Thank you! I understand.

I am sorry that I annoyed the police and the FBI! I did not feel well at all!



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07 Apr 2021, 11:05 am

FranzOren wrote:
Thank you! I understood.

I am sorry that I annoyed the police and the FBI! I did not feel well at all!


I don't care about the police, I care about your well-being and I don't believe attracting the attention of law enforcement can ever be in your best interests.

They don't have the tools to help you, they're primarily equipped to hold people criminally responsible for actions they've committed that violate laws. They don't care whether or not the crime is victimless, they don't care about what issues upstairs contributed. Those concerns are other people's jobs.


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FranzOren
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07 Apr 2021, 11:07 am

Thank you! I understood.



FranzOren
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07 Apr 2021, 11:12 am

I also wanted to go to mental hospital once after I texted 911 for the first time, when I was depressed, but my dad told me that It is dangerous to be there and that you die slowly with too many drugs that they give you and that they cans till give you shock therapy depending on the situation



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07 Apr 2021, 11:15 am

Not literally stay in a mental hospital for a very long time, but just to be there until I decide myself that I feel well and I can go home at any time of the day.