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Joe90
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29 Mar 2021, 11:53 am

Jumping down people's throat is empathy when NTs do it. To have empathy as an autistic, you've basically got to be Jesus.


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Mona Pereth
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29 Mar 2021, 11:57 am

Fnord wrote:
No one jumped down your throat, whether figuratively or literally.  You made some sweeping generalizations and incorrect statements.  I pointed them out.

To you it evidently felt like a simple disagreement, not "jumping down his throat."

However, to an emotionally vulnerable newcomer (which everybody_i5 clearly is at this point), it can easily feel like "jumping down his throat" unless you also acknowledge and voice some sympathy for the underlying frustrations, which you did not do.

The O.P. was expressing despair about socializing in general. Haven't most of us been there, at some point in our lives?


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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 29 Mar 2021, 11:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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29 Mar 2021, 11:59 am

Joe90 wrote:
Jumping down people's throat is empathy when NTs do it. To have empathy as an autistic, you've basically got to be Jesus.
To also have empathy with an autistic requires the empathy of Jesus AND the patience of Job!"


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Fnord
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29 Mar 2021, 12:01 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
Fnord wrote:
No one jumped down your throat, whether figuratively or literally.  You made some sweeping generalizations and incorrect statements.  I pointed them out.

To you it evidently felt like a simple disagreement, not "jumping down his throat." [...] The O.P. was expressing despair about socializing in general. Haven't most of us been there, at some point in our lives?
I see only text on a monitor; not feelings.  I am sorry for being born this way and causing so much trouble.


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mohsart
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29 Mar 2021, 12:28 pm

From my experience, people with ASD (or ADHD/ADD) tends to be more empathetic than NTs.
I don't pretend to know (or indeed state) that it's a fact though.
However, I know that many people on the spectrum have difficulties showing their empathy, so many, especially NTs, get the impression that there is a lack of empathy when there in fact is not.
That said, the level of empathy differs between individuals, both NTs and NDs.

/Mats


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29 Mar 2021, 12:52 pm

I do see where you are coming from, although these are generalizations. Most autistic people tend to think in patterns so i can't blame you for seeing things this way.

Honestly, to me socializing is weird. Some people i simply like, even though i don't have much in common with them. And when i like someone it is easier to ignore the flaws you mentioned.

What i like in people is their effort to be nice to people, originality and open mindedness. And effort to keep in touch with me, to work on getting to know me and be friends with me.
If someone makes an effort for me, i feel like it is only fair i make an effort for them.

That's why i treasure the small amount of friends i have.



Mona Pereth
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29 Mar 2021, 1:00 pm

Fnord wrote:
I see only text on a monitor; not feelings.  I am sorry for being born this way and causing so much trouble.

The first post in this thread ended as follows:

everybody_i5 wrote:
I don't really know what I'm asking here. I came on this site to try to reach out to people, but to be honest I don't really know why. I get lonely just like everyone, but when I socially interact, I find myself hating the experience.

To Fnord: Please read the above again. Hopefully you can now see the expression of frustration and despair.


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Mona Pereth
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29 Mar 2021, 1:07 pm

everybody_i5 wrote:
Thank you for being the only person on this forum not to immediately jump down my throat. Not really a great advertisement for social interaction to be honest.

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience here so far. Please do stick around. Please just be more careful about making generalizations, and you'll probably get along here fine.


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everybody_i5
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29 Mar 2021, 1:15 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
everybody_i5 wrote:
Thank you for being the only person on this forum not to immediately jump down my throat. Not really a great advertisement for social interaction to be honest.

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience here so far. Please do stick around. Please just be more careful about making generalizations, and you'll probably get along here fine.


I genuinely hope another pandemic happens.



Mona Pereth
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29 Mar 2021, 1:59 pm

everybody_i5 wrote:
I genuinely hope another pandemic happens.

Why?

The pandemic has had some beneficial consequences, such as the resulting work-from-home trend -- which, I hope, can continue after the pandemic. Also a lot of people have moved from cities into the suburbs, making the cities more affordable for those of us who need to live in cities.

But the pandemic has been very harmful overall, both to many individual people and to the economy. We sure don't need another one in my opinion.


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mohsart
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29 Mar 2021, 2:09 pm

everybody_i5 wrote:
I genuinely hope another pandemic happens.

I don't think you mean that, but it seems like you're trying to enforce the theory that autistics have no empathy by seeming like you have a lack of it.
Sorry for being blunt, but what can I say.

/Mats


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everybody_i5
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29 Mar 2021, 2:15 pm

I wish I had never been born.



mohsart
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29 Mar 2021, 2:44 pm

Look, I feel for you, I really do.
But it's not OK to wish death to others just because you feel bad.

/Mats


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kraftiekortie
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29 Mar 2021, 2:48 pm

One of the main problems in this "western" society----is that we have too much time on our hands.

When we have too much time on our hands, we have the tendency to extend philosophy to its limits, and to speculate on things which are really not worth speculating about.

We tend to let ideology rule us in these instances, and we do not see "the forest for the trees." We do not see what's really happening in the world.

We live via abstractions, instead.....and we speculate to the Moon and back, and we don't actually go out in the world, and see how actual people live and think.



mohsart
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29 Mar 2021, 3:02 pm

Correct me if i'm wrong but didn't the great philosophers of the past have all the time to do their thing.
I think there may be some truth to what you say, but in general I disagree.

/Mats


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Mona Pereth
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29 Mar 2021, 3:24 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
One of the main problems in this "western" society----is that we have too much time on our hands.

I disagree. Some people have too much time on their hands, but most people are extremely busy. Many people have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet. Even just one job, plus taking care of one's house or apartment, can be a hell of a lot of work, especially for people who have children.

kraftiekortie wrote:
When we have too much time on our hands, we have the tendency to extend philosophy to its limits, and to speculate on things which are really not worth speculating about.

We tend to let ideology rule us in these instances, and we do not see "the forest for the trees." We do not see what's really happening in the world.

I think the polarization of today's society results less from people having too much time on their hands than from people having too little time to think deeply about nuances. I think most people just don't have enough time to be patient with each other.


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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 29 Mar 2021, 3:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.