Why are people horrible to other people online ?

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chris1989
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30 Apr 2021, 6:52 pm

I feel I have heard many stories from people who delete their social media accounts because of racist abuse, homophobic abuse, trans-phobic abuse and so on. I heard these football clubs and other sports clubs are doing a three day boycott on social media to tackle abuse online. I know social media has its good benefits but I seem to hear more about the bad side of social media. I sometimes can't stand some anonymous people who vent their frustrations, bigotry, narrow-minded views etc, against other people, particularly vulnerable people making their mental health and self esteem worse if they already have mental health problems.



enz
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30 Apr 2021, 7:03 pm

Because deep down some people want to be jerks and they can do it online without being punched in the face



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30 Apr 2021, 9:22 pm

There are multiple suggested reasons. The phenomena seems widely recognized, however.


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Texasmoneyman300
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01 May 2021, 2:49 am

chris1989 wrote:
I feel I have heard many stories from people who delete their social media accounts because of racist abuse, homophobic abuse, trans-phobic abuse and so on. I heard these football clubs and other sports clubs are doing a three day boycott on social media to tackle abuse online. I know social media has its good benefits but I seem to hear more about the bad side of social media. I sometimes can't stand some anonymous people who vent their frustrations, bigotry, narrow-minded views etc, against other people, particularly vulnerable people making their mental health and self esteem worse if they already have mental health problems.

I think a couple big reasons is cuz a lot of social media is anonymous and the consequences for being mean online are not typically as bad as they would be in real life



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01 May 2021, 11:54 am

I think people aren't aware it's not their diary but the world wide web.

Been years since I heard that expression from anyone else. I always use it on purpose. To emphasise that it's a bunch of people from round the world you're interacting with.

With the more bigoted comments, I think it is either people who are only brave behind a keyboard being horrible or it's people who are 'trolling' and trying to get a reaction. They go for the nastiest comments. There's also a pipeline though of extreme beliefs being indoctrinated into people. I'm not going to go too far into that cos this isn't PPR.

With other - tamer but still nasty - comments, it's like they think the internet is an extension to their offline friendship group. It can be, but you need to remember that people you speak to will vary more online. I've read comments like this about things like: 'if you go to M&S you're a snob' (my granddad shops there), 'if you wear a tracksuit you're a tramp' (I wear one), 'anyone who wears sunglasses indoors is a poser (I do that cos of light sensitivity) and both sides of the pub argument 'anyone who doesn't drink is a killjoy' (I don't drink) and 'look at all those people drinking in beer gardens, they must all be alkies' (how would you know that?!).

Irl we could say these kinds of nasty things cos we'd be saying them to friends with similar shopping habits/clothing styles/drinking habits etc to ourselves. But online? You do not know who is reading it or the negative stuff you're saying to them.

I made a decision yesterday to not say anything else judgy about things which are amoral... then broke it this morning cos I saw a minimalist style house for £500,000. It's so hard to stop using the internet as you're own personal bitching diary and use a real diary or bitchy gossip with an irl friend instead!

I think it's worth remembering as well (not that I'm very right wing at all lol) that middle class people (and straight people, NTs, cis people, white people, English people etc) are likely reading your stuff. Middle class people reading your stuff are likely just doctors or teachers etc and are not hurting you by doing those jobs. In fact, society needs that kind of professional around! I felt so bad yesterday afternoon cos someone said 'any kid whose clothes don't come from Primark is spoilt' but... 1 that shop technically wasn't around when I was a kid and 2 my mum worked hard as an SEN teacher, if she wanted to buy me Mothercare as well as Woollies that's up to her.

I think people should take a step back. Only judge what is immoral. Most certainly not make kicking down bigoted comments. Try not to make kicking up ones about large amounts of people either. Not judge on shallow stuff. Not assume everyone in teh whole world will have the same life experiences as them...

But that is hard to do in our current climate.

Tbh I feel like football clubs leaving twitter for a week is Slacktivism. People were complaining last year about black squares and I feel like that's part of the same thing. It'd be better to use those platforms to highlight the performance of the woman's team, the performances of POC footballers and interview these players about difficult experiences in their lives. Guys rarely feel comfortable coming out in football but - maybe a chance for lesbian players to talk about their experiences? And to make it clear that football is for everyone. Talk to LGBT fan groups, too.


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nick007
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01 May 2021, 12:33 pm

I think the question the OP should be asking is Why are people horrible to other people :?: People can be very horrible to others when not on social media. Watch the news for a bunch of examples. That said the social media platforms officially have policies against trolling & abusive behavior but they intentionally ignore enforcement of those policies when politicians are using them to be hateful. Trump repeatedly encouraged violence & threatened war on those platforms & they refused to take any action at all until his behavior caused the US capital to be stormed. Then they finally decided to ban him but facebook has been considering ending the ban. It is really no wonder social media has so much bullying & hateful behavior on there since they are intentionally blinding their eyes in order to let the most influential people in the world turn their sites into a cesspool of hatred. If a member on WP was threatening violence towards other members, I am confident that the staff would intervene & nip that behavior in the bud so it would not get any worse. Whereas when this happens on social media there is no intervention at all.


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KT67
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01 May 2021, 1:27 pm

I feel like there are some differences but my dad will text me things which are transphobic and even homophobic (even though he knows I'm bi).

Most people won't say racist/sexist/transphobic/homophobic/ableist things to people in their lives they know are that category.

People I know won't even say nasty things to people's faces.

There is a woman who we don't like and we talk behind her back instead. She'll never know we call her the witch. We know she hates us but we don't know every single thing she says about us. If it was online: everyone would know and it would escalate.


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Edna3362
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01 May 2021, 4:01 pm

Humans... Are still 'animals'. :lol: Like, say, in an asylum full of insane people.

And I do not mean in mental health context. At all. I meant insanity in what is considered as 'normal'.

By 'normal' I mean whatever idea of success is. The idea of good and evil. Who goes to heaven or hell. Etc.

There is no unconditional compassion.
Only those artificial concepts and passed down sentiments that might as well be echoing for centuries.


Also, well... Uhmm..
Hmm...

Let's just say humans are vulnerable as a whole, driven by fear and willfully creates artificial borders of separation, driven by their defensiveness.

And for generations, many still pass this sort of fear and still maintain said defensiveness to the next generation instead of celebrating differences.

At least some humans realizing what's happening underneath the ignorance.
What their ancestors did, what their parents did...
And what they're doing to their children, and what's been happening to their neighbors.

It takes... Well, 3-6 generations. Consistently. Give or take.





As of this present?
Who wouldn't want it? To get away with toxic 'authenticity', impulsivity 'being true to others'. :roll:
By means of power or anonymity.
Without getting oppressed, criticized, etc

Uhuh... If fear is the real face of humanity, they won't get whatever they're craving from the world that is love. "It's free will/speech/right to believe, baby!" :mrgreen:


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05 May 2021, 7:06 pm

IMO, some people who are insecure look for easy targets to try and take their feelings out on.

Even some people here on WP do it but using subtle, unnoticeable ways. :x


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05 May 2021, 8:24 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
IMO, some people who are insecure look for easy targets to try and take their feelings out on.

Even some people here on WP do it but using subtle, unnoticeable ways. :x
I've been noticing it in L&D the last few days :( In the case of L&D I think members are very frustrated by some things & they are generalizing & stereotyping based at least partly on their experiences. There may be a bit(or a lot) of black & white thinking us Aspies are know for going on as well. People in general dislike being called out when they are wrong. In the case of Aspies, some of us are very defensive probably due to us being in trouble a lot for misunderstandings & bullying & whatnot. We can feel like we are being personally attacked when others are saying things that go against our own experiences. When we get defensive we can sometimes say things in the heat of the moment that are worded very poorly & with a lot of feeling that gets misinterpreted or we may feel the urge to lash out & verbally attack. I know I sure am very defensive sometimes. I don't think I'm as bad as I used to be thou but I can still majorly slip up some. I'm trying to do better though. That's one of the reasons I'm thinking I should be less active on WP for a bit. I go through phases where I'm more active here & less active partly depending on what else is going on or what else can distract me. I started having a more active period here & now it'll be better if I'm a little less active for a bit.


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05 May 2021, 10:03 pm

nick007 wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
IMO, some people who are insecure look for easy targets to try and take their feelings out on.

Even some people here on WP do it but using subtle, unnoticeable ways. :x
I've been noticing it in L&D the last few days :( In the case of L&D I think members are very frustrated by some things & they are generalizing & stereotyping based at least partly on their experiences. There may be a bit(or a lot) of black & white thinking us Aspies are know for going on as well. People in general dislike being called out when they are wrong. In the case of Aspies, some of us are very defensive probably due to us being in trouble a lot for misunderstandings & bullying & whatnot. We can feel like we are being personally attacked when others are saying things that go against our own experiences. When we get defensive we can sometimes say things in the heat of the moment that are worded very poorly & with a lot of feeling that gets misinterpreted or we may feel the urge to lash out & verbally attack. I know I sure am very defensive sometimes. I don't think I'm as bad as I used to be thou but I can still majorly slip up some. I'm trying to do better though. That's one of the reasons I'm thinking I should be less active on WP for a bit. I go through phases where I'm more active here & less active partly depending on what else is going on or what else can distract me. I started having a more active period here & now it'll be better if I'm a little less active for a bit.


I also notice it when I visit that section. They conjure up stereotypes based on what they know and they can't stand the thought of people disagreeing with them.


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05 May 2021, 11:40 pm

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I notice that going on the most in the PPR section, which is why I avoid that section. I think it's more for the knowledgeable folk, and I'm not very knowledgeable on that sort of thing, so I'll never "win" any arguments. And because of political correctness, most of the time people dance around the obvious, as they're too afraid to say because they'll get reported as being racist, even though they were tactfully saying what everyone was thinking and even if it wasn't intended to be racist at all. Racist is just a word people throw around these days to the point where it's got ridiculous and makes you afraid to say anything.


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nick007
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06 May 2021, 1:57 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I also notice it when I visit that section. They conjure up stereotypes based on what they know and they can't stand the thought of people disagreeing with them.
I've been guilty of that many times myself in the past on various sites, not just L&D or WP. Getting less frustrated by stuff & getting less depressed helped me think a bit clearer about things. I need to be careful cuz I know I could fall into that again if I'm not careful & if I post when I'm very upset by something during the heat of the moment.


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