Does this plot turn in my story come off as weird?

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Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 37
Posts: 3,243
Location: canada

03 May 2021, 1:40 am

For my script, which is a thriller, I want a witness to testify in court in a case, then later at her home, the villains break into her house to try to make an attempt on her life.

But I also want the main character, a police officer, to be there when it happens. I was thinking he could give her a ride to and from the courthouse back to her home so he can be.

But logically, the villains would break into her house at night, rather than day time in order to keep a lower profile. But if the MC gives the witness a ride from a court hearing, which normally takes place during the day, and then they arrive at her house at night, which is supposed to be in the same city, will that much time be able to go by?

One reader suggested to me so far, that I should write it so that his car breaks down on the way and has to get it repaired, then take her home. But is it weird that she would wait around for the car to be repaired rather than find alternative means of transportation to get home sooner? Does it work, or no?

Thanks for any opions on it! I really appreciate it!