I Got Bored So I Signed Up For A Filipino Dating Site.

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Muse933277
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04 May 2021, 9:39 am

I got bored so I signed up for a Filipino dating site, this is what happened...


So in early April, I decided to sign up for a Filipino dating site by the name of FilipinoCupid. Why? Because for one thing, I was hardly getting any matches on Tinder in my home country and I wanted to see if different cultures had different standards of beauty. As a white male, iv'e heard that many filipino women love white skin, so I wanted to see for myself.

So I signed up for FilipinoCupid shortly after Easter and almost immediately, I was getting dozens of messages from women. Some of these accounts were most likely bots, especially the ones which immediately asked to skype with me because they were feeling lonely but some of these women looked legitimate.

On traditional dating sites, a typical man who isn't an 8+ in the looks scale, will have to send out 100 messages and maybe only get around 5 women to respond back and if he's lucky, she'll agree to go out with him. On FilipinoCupid, not only are women messaging you first, but if you do send out the first message, there's a very good chance she'll respond back. This is an experience i'm not used to at all.

I'm currently talking to 5 women on messenger. Will it turn into anything? I'm not sure.



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04 May 2021, 9:52 am

So when you date in the very poor countries where they literally cannot afford clothes and food of course they are going to talk to someone who is from a very rich country and try to make them fall in love.

They don't actually care about you they are just after money and trying to manipulate you. If you were one of these desperately poor women in one of these countries you would be doing the same because it is their survival narcissism making them act this way. Imagine if you have absolutely nothing and you're in one of these countries - you would be desperately trying to get out by any means.

It's very common behaviour and it's very sad. When people say they are after a green card as a joke - the truth is actually that's a very common state of affairs. It's not their fault though, their country offers them no support.

The sad fact with these type of countries - the narcissism/psychopath levels are very high because it is kind of like survival of the fittest so it's very risky to trust anyone in these countries unless they are actually doing well for themselves and can prove it with official documents. Even then though these people are very good at photoshop and doctoring documents.


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04 May 2021, 10:05 am

Lunella wrote:
So when you date in the very poor countries where they literally cannot afford clothes and food of course they are going to talk to someone who is from a very rich country and try to make them fall in love.

They don't actually care about you they are just after money and trying to manipulate you...
And here I was beginning to believe you were an open-minded and thoughtful person.

:roll:

The Philippines does not follow the bigoted stereotype you described.  While it does have poverty, the people support each other and share each others burdens, so they are not "desperate" as a whole.

They value education, and see it as the one best way to improve their lot in life.  They also value family much more than most Europeans/Americans I know.  Philippine families will get together to pay college tuition for the most promising members, and do all they can to assure that those students succeed.  Then those students graduate, get professional jobs (mostly STEM), and give back to their families so that others can follow along and earn their own degrees.

While there are some women even in first-world countries who marry for practical reasons, there are many more who have much higher standards.  You will rarely ever see a first-generation immigrant from the Philippines who is not a doctor, a nurse, or an engineer of some kind.  My wife, for example, is a proud Batangueña with a master's degree, and had no need to emigrate to the US, although I am glad she did; and even though she is a degreed professional, we still have to put up with all the ignorant bigots out there who assume she married me just to have a "Green Card", even though we have been married for more than a quarter-century.

:evil: Bigots ... effem ... effem all!


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Lunella
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04 May 2021, 11:01 am

Fnord wrote:
Lunella wrote:
So when you date in the very poor countries where they literally cannot afford clothes and food of course they are going to talk to someone who is from a very rich country and try to make them fall in love.

They don't actually care about you they are just after money and trying to manipulate you...
And here I was beginning to believe you were an open-minded and thoughtful person.

:roll:

The Philippines does not follow the bigoted stereotype you described.  While it does have poverty, the people support each other and share each others burdens, so they are not "desperate" as a whole.

They value education, and see it as the one best way to improve their lot in life.  They also value family much more than most Europeans/Americans I know.  Philippine families will get together to pay college tuition for the most promising members, and do all they can to assure that those students succeed.  Then those students graduate, get professional jobs (mostly STEM), and give back to their families so that others can follow along and earn their own degrees.

While there are some women even in first-world countries who marry for practical reasons, there are many more who have much higher standards.  You will rarely ever see a first-generation immigrant from the Philippines who is not a doctor, a nurse, or an engineer of some kind.  My wife, for example, is a proud Batangueña with a master's degree, and had no need to emigrate to the US, although I am glad she did; and even though she is a degreed professional, we still have to put up with all the ignorant bigots out there who assume she married me just to have a "Green Card", even though we have been married for more than a quarter-century.

:evil: Bigots ... effem ... effem all!


Oh I thought Filipino was an area of Thailand lol. Like where they sleep on the streets and basically have nothing but the clothes on their backs. I literally just see it as Pakistan/India survival rules to be honest, there isn't much difference country to country as the survival narcissism kicks in big time because of the desperate need to get out so they are conning people left right and centre.

We have a girl who joined our family for example from one of these countries, all she does is beg for money to send back home and there's not like any proper empathy in her for the family she's now part of, she doesn't care about joining in or anything because she's being heavily controlled by her family back home still to get as much money as she can and have a baby over here so she becomes a permanent citizen with dual citizenship, then she will slowly try to bring her family over here.

A lot of these women seem to just be heavily controlled by their families so you're not getting the real version of them you are getting the watered down version of how their parents have told them how to act and simply just be to get ahead. Now our cousin can't divorce her because he feels really bad about it basically as they're really poor.

As much as you can help someone from one of these countries greed seems to always take over when you give them the world, they want you to pay not only for them but their entire family and extended family. Then when you go back over to the country her whole family is there expecting gifts from home like they're entitled to it and it makes you feel proper awkward. It's been much more drama than it's worth from our side of things to be honest.

Obviously I'm not saying everyone from these countries is bad, but the fact that you have to be extremely careful who you trust or you end up in that situation full of drama just from feeling sorry and trying to help someone.

We have house watchers over in Pakistan for example to guard the house, we had like I think 3 people forge documents and qualifications just to try and get the job, even their recommendations were BS too just had a family member speak for them.

It's sad because it just makes you totally not trust anyone.


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04 May 2021, 12:28 pm

I would have to agree with Fnord on this.

Most people in "third world" countries try the best they can in those countries, and possess very high moral values. Thievery in those countries is dealt with much more severely than it is here.

They "make do with what they got," and don't go around prostituting themselves. or doing immoral things just to get a buck.

All over the world, there are some people who would "do anything" for a Green Card, or for permanent residence in some "first world" country....but they are far, far, in the minority of the residents of those countries.



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04 May 2021, 4:59 pm

Lunella wrote:
So when you date in the very poor countries where they literally cannot afford clothes and food of course they are going to talk to someone who is from a very rich country and try to make them fall in love.

They don't actually care about you they are just after money and trying to manipulate you. If you were one of these desperately poor women in one of these countries you would be doing the same because it is their survival narcissism making them act this way. Imagine if you have absolutely nothing and you're in one of these countries - you would be desperately trying to get out by any means.

It's very common behaviour and it's very sad. When people say they are after a green card as a joke - the truth is actually that's a very common state of affairs. It's not their fault though, their country offers them no support.

The sad fact with these type of countries - the narcissism/psychopath levels are very high because it is kind of like survival of the fittest so it's very risky to trust anyone in these countries unless they are actually doing well for themselves and can prove it with official documents. Even then though these people are very good at photoshop and doctoring documents.


Typical Karen’ed view on the third world.


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04 May 2021, 5:09 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Lunella wrote:
So when you date in the very poor countries where they literally cannot afford clothes and food of course they are going to talk to someone who is from a very rich country and try to make them fall in love.  They don't actually care about you they are just after money and trying to manipulate you.  If you were one of these desperately poor women in one of these countries you would be doing the same because it is their survival narcissism making them act this way.  Imagine if you have absolutely nothing and you're in one of these countries -- you would be desperately trying to get out by any means.  It's very common behavior and it's very sad. When people say they are after a green card as a joke -- the truth is actually that's a very common state of affairs. It's not their fault though, their country offers them no support.  The sad fact with these type of countries -- the narcissism/psychopath levels are very high because it is kind of like survival of the fittest so it's very risky to trust anyone in these countries unless they are actually doing well for themselves and can prove it with official documents.  Even then though these people are very good at photoshop and doctoring documents.
Typical Karen’ed view on the third world.
Certainly ill-informed, likely due to lack of actual one-on-one face-to-face contact with anyone actually living in a "poor country".


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04 May 2021, 5:32 pm

I also agree with Fnord as well. That's a very horrible stereotype. I have a friend who's Filipino. She's a real Sweet Pea. She cares more about family than most of the people that I know.


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04 May 2021, 11:52 pm

Different types of relationships can work for different couples. Couples can get married for LOTS of various reasons. Who are any of us to judge & say what is right & wrong & OK & not OK for another couple? Besides it is quite possible that those women really might fall in love with a guy who treats them with the respect & decency that all humans deserve. Accusing them of being narcissists when we do NOT know anything about those specific women except where they claim to live & that they claim to be willing to relocate out of their country for a relationship, is bigoted. If I had the income & resources I woulda perused the mail-order bride thing myself when I was single. When I talked about that on various places online, more than a few people accused me of being a misogynist & wanting a woman I could dominate & take advantage of which could not be further from the truth. The reason I was considering that was cuz I was VERY LONELY & wanting companionship & I had been trying my best for years to get a relationship & I could not get so much as a single date during that time. My partner is my special interest & I am very protective of people I love. I'm the type to put my partner on a pedestal, not intentionally hurt them like some accused me of. If those women really were all narcissists & all men wanting to date them really were all misogynists, What the hell is the problem with them being with each other :?: It seems to me like they would deserve each other.
I wish Muse the best of luck weather he meets someone there or another way.


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05 May 2021, 12:03 am

Fnord wrote:
Lunella wrote:
So when you date in the very poor countries where they literally cannot afford clothes and food of course they are going to talk to someone who is from a very rich country and try to make them fall in love.

They don't actually care about you they are just after money and trying to manipulate you...
And here I was beginning to believe you were an open-minded and thoughtful person.

:roll:

The Philippines does not follow the bigoted stereotype you described.  While it does have poverty, the people support each other and share each others burdens, so they are not "desperate" as a whole.

They value education, and see it as the one best way to improve their lot in life.  They also value family much more than most Europeans/Americans I know.  Philippine families will get together to pay college tuition for the most promising members, and do all they can to assure that those students succeed.  Then those students graduate, get professional jobs (mostly STEM), and give back to their families so that others can follow along and earn their own degrees.

While there are some women even in first-world countries who marry for practical reasons, there are many more who have much higher standards.  You will rarely ever see a first-generation immigrant from the Philippines who is not a doctor, a nurse, or an engineer of some kind.  My wife, for example, is a proud Batangueña with a master's degree, and had no need to emigrate to the US, although I am glad she did; and even though she is a degreed professional, we still have to put up with all the ignorant bigots out there who assume she married me just to have a "Green Card", even though we have been married for more than a quarter-century.

:evil: Bigots ... effem ... effem all!


I second Fnord. My sister-in-law and her children are from the Philippines. She and her children are among the most well-educated, moral, and hardworking people I know. She works for Warren Buffet in the day, and just graduated at the top of her class as a geriatric nurse studying all night for several years. Her brother is a high ranking official in the US Navy. Her sisters have travelled the world and held several key positions of authority. Their family and friends in the Philippines are exemplary people as well. I haven't travelled there myself but my brother has, and he hopes to retire there because the people are so kind and ethical.

I hope this racial stereotype isn't perpetuated on WP.



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05 May 2021, 12:25 am

I dont understand why everyone is treating Lunella as racist when as someone himself whose parents are immigrants it is a fact amongst almost every immigrant I know, be they Pakistani, Algerian, Turk, Somali etc. that many people in the 3rd world are desperate gold diggers when it comes to the West and that they assume if someone is from America that they're financially loaded and that marrying them is a ticket to a better life. Heck, in my own family several of my own aunts and cousins later on admitted to marrying white men so they can come to America and get their green card, and they didnt give a damn about the man they married. If I had a dollar for every single American, including and especially including American of immigrant background like my family members, who complained about being hoodwinked by a girl they thought liked them from overseas who turned out to just wanted a green card, I would be rich. The phenomena of being wary of marrying people outside of America or falling in love with them isn't even racist or necessarily recent against brown immigrants: in Arthur Miller's famous play "A View From the Bridge" the plot of that story centers around the main character Eddie Carbone not wanting his niece to marry an Italian immigrant fearing that he was a "submarine", i.e. someone who comes to America and marries one of the white woman to get their green card.

It's a real phenomena and if you people only knew what people around the world actually thought of America as you'd understand where this fear comes from. My sister has traveled across practically the entire Middle East and parts of Asia and she, as corroborated by many other immigrants I know, said that in many poorer countries the people view Americans as being loaded with cash. Even I myself whenever I go overseas to visit my home country of Palestine as someone as the locals detect Im from America by my accent I get accosted and haggled for money.


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05 May 2021, 12:26 am

Fnord wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Lunella wrote:
So when you date in the very poor countries where they literally cannot afford clothes and food of course they are going to talk to someone who is from a very rich country and try to make them fall in love.  They don't actually care about you they are just after money and trying to manipulate you.  If you were one of these desperately poor women in one of these countries you would be doing the same because it is their survival narcissism making them act this way.  Imagine if you have absolutely nothing and you're in one of these countries -- you would be desperately trying to get out by any means.  It's very common behavior and it's very sad. When people say they are after a green card as a joke -- the truth is actually that's a very common state of affairs. It's not their fault though, their country offers them no support.  The sad fact with these type of countries -- the narcissism/psychopath levels are very high because it is kind of like survival of the fittest so it's very risky to trust anyone in these countries unless they are actually doing well for themselves and can prove it with official documents.  Even then though these people are very good at photoshop and doctoring documents.
Typical Karen’ed view on the third world.
Certainly ill-informed, likely due to lack of actual one-on-one face-to-face contact with anyone actually living in a "poor country".


What if I told you that my family comes from a poor country and almost everything Lunella said can be corroborated??


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05 May 2021, 12:28 am

Lunella wrote:
So when you date in the very poor countries where they literally cannot afford clothes and food of course they are going to talk to someone who is from a very rich country and try to make them fall in love.


Are you trolling? that's really offensive



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05 May 2021, 12:30 am

salad wrote:
I dont understand why everyone is treating Lunella as racist when as someone himself whose parents are immigrants it is a fact amongst almost every immigrant I know, be they Pakistani, Algerian, Turk, Somali etc. that many people in the 3rd world are desperate gold diggers when it comes to the West and that they assume if someone is from America that they're financially loaded and that marrying them is a ticket to a better life. Heck, in my own family several of my own aunts and cousins later on admitted to marrying white men so they can come to America and get their green card, and they didnt give a damn about the man they married. .


Well that's true also but you can't generalise to all people in those countries. Somali women its almost impossible to marry outside of their community.



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05 May 2021, 12:33 am

cyberdad wrote:
salad wrote:
I dont understand why everyone is treating Lunella as racist when as someone himself whose parents are immigrants it is a fact amongst almost every immigrant I know, be they Pakistani, Algerian, Turk, Somali etc. that many people in the 3rd world are desperate gold diggers when it comes to the West and that they assume if someone is from America that they're financially loaded and that marrying them is a ticket to a better life. Heck, in my own family several of my own aunts and cousins later on admitted to marrying white men so they can come to America and get their green card, and they didnt give a damn about the man they married. .


Well that's true also but you can't generalise to all people in those countries. Somali women its almost impossible to marry outside of their community.


They can if that person is also a Somali who just happens to be an American naturalized citizen. That's where this phenomena comes from. It isn't just marrying whites, its actually marrying anyone from America thinking they're loaded. This happens a lot more than you know, and I know 1st hand since my own brother whose disabled randomly had a woman from Libya express interest in him, until she found out my brother isn't as rich as she assumed then cancelled it off.


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05 May 2021, 1:02 am

So I've been talking to several different women from FilipinoCupid. Iv'e gotten their Snapchat and Messenger information and we've been communicating through there.


One thing iv'e noticed is that filipino women are much friendlier and act way more receptive. In the past, when I've talked to women in my own country, many of them act cold and aloof. When I text them, I frequently get ignored and left on read.

With many of the women from the Philippines I've been communicating with, they act much more receptive. They seem more invested into the conversation and even ask me questions in return. When I tell them I have to go such as going to bed, they say good night and have sweet dreams.

Having women being nice to me and wanting to text me feels weird to me, almost to the point of feeling like a foreign concept. I'm not used to being wanted by women because I grew up in romantic poverty. In my home country (The USA), I was the short scrawny loser that women simply werne't attracted to. A part of that reason was my height, at 5 ft 3, I am very short by white male standards. Another reason is because of my personality; I am naturally quiet, soft spoken, and it's hard to get to know me. Some of this personality likes comes from my aspergers. With that said, in a land that favors the big and tall, I don't exactly stack up.