I Got Bored So I Signed Up For A Filipino Dating Site.

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Lunella
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05 May 2021, 9:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
salad wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
salad wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nick007 wrote:
salad wrote:
I dont understand why everyone is treating Lunella as racist when as someone himself whose parents are immigrants it is a fact amongst almost every immigrant I know, be they Pakistani, Algerian, Turk, Somali etc. that many people in the 3rd world are desperate gold diggers when it comes to the West and that they assume if someone is from America that they're financially loaded and that marrying them is a ticket to a better life. Heck, in my own family several of my own aunts and cousins later on admitted to marrying white men so they can come to America and get their green card, and they didnt give a damn about the man they married. If I had a dollar for every single American, including and especially including American of immigrant background like my family members, who complained about being hoodwinked by a girl they thought liked them from overseas who turned out to just wanted a green card, I would be rich. The phenomena of being wary of marrying people outside of America or falling in love with them isn't even racist or necessarily recent against brown immigrants: in Arthur Miller's famous play "A View From the Bridge" the plot of that story centers around the main character Eddie Carbone not wanting his niece to marry an Italian immigrant fearing that he was a "submarine", i.e. someone who comes to America and marries one of the white woman to get their green card.

It's a real phenomena and if you people only knew what people around the world actually thought of America as you'd understand where this fear comes from. My sister has traveled across practically the entire Middle East and parts of Asia and she, as corroborated by many other immigrants I know, said that in many poorer countries the people view Americans as being loaded with cash. Even I myself whenever I go overseas to visit my home country of Palestine as someone as the locals detect Im from America by my accent I get accosted and haggled for money.
The issue I have is that it sounded to me like she was implying that all women there who were willing to marry a guy in another country & relocate were like that. I'm sorry if I misunderstood Lunella if that is not what she meant. I'm very used to others misunderstanding me & putting words in my mouth so I shoulda gave her the benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry Lunella. I'm upset by some stuff & I haven't got enough sleep the last couple days. I should probably stay out of heated discussions for a couple days/nights after I post this.

Getting back on topic, I am sure there are more than a few women there & in other countries who are really only wanting a green card & money. However I do not think that all women there who are willing to marry a guy in another country are expecting the guy to take care of them them & do all the work 1ce they get here. I've heard from some guys who married women from there & from other countries & some of those guys found their wives to be very attentive & eager to please them even after being married more than a few years. It is quite possible that some of those women really are faking it because of the way they were brought up & being afraid of going back to that kinda life if the guy gets upset with them but even if they are faking it, I personally would much rather have that kinda fake relationship than being single. If that kinda relationship works for both of them weather they legitimately love each other or not, I just do not see what the problem is as long as they are both happy with the arrangement.


The thing is that this is always being repeated by some whenever one mentions Asian women here.

So it does seem to be like a racial based stereotype.


Those people are for sure racist.

However, the idea of Americans of all races and even immigrant backgrounds being wary of meeting partners overseas from poor countries is a lot more universal than you realize. A famous American playwright by the name of Arthur Miller made such a phenomena the centerpoint of his play "A View From the Bridge" and made it where the main character Eddie Carbone was afraid of niece Beatrice from marrying an Italian immigrant because of the fear he's only marrying her for the Green Card. And mind you these are Italians this play was referring to. Italian men to be specific.

In my own family my brother with disabilities had a random girl from Libya message him on a Muslim dating app. Everyone in our family had a strong hunch that this was a scam and that she was only interested in his money and him being a Palestinian American. My brother never listened. When said Libyan woman found out my brother isn't rich somehow she disappeared.

Not to mention even in my own family I have aunts and cousins on record who admitted to marrying their husbands just to get the Green card and live here in America.



Desiring to marry a rich man is not exclusive for migrants though. Your aunts and cousins happen to be gold diggers, sorry to say it. :P

Gold digging is a cross-borders universal things, and it takes many shapes.

Dating apps are full of scams to begin with.


Offense not taken. I myself despise my aunts and cousins who married decent and hardworking American men, some white most Arab Americans, just for financial gain and to get their green card. It makes me ashamed of their lack of scruples and it horrifies me a great deal.



Girls in our part of the world are raised on the idea “تزوجي واحد مرتاح".

And the Meher thing, all ingrain gold digging persona in them.

But again, it’s a phenomena that exists everywhere and expressed differently per culture.


This is literally what I'm on about. You guys misunderstand my point... The Meher is quite common in a lot of cultures and this basically turns people into raging gold digging loons. If you marry from Thailand the family will expect a downpayment for handing over their daughter, same with Pakistan and a lot of other cultures.

My family are mixed with white/Pakistani and most of our family say like a good 200 people are in agreement to only marry British born from now on because of the copious amounts of drama this s**t causes. Who the actual hell sends Gucci handbags back to Pakistan? They make out their family are desperate but are sending stuff like this instead when they think no one will notice. These girls who have come into our MULTICULTURAL family have made it an absolute nightmare and guilt trip very empathetic people like nobodies business. I'm talking like they will easily send £10k a time and the family spend it on total rubbish they don't even need, it's a con that's been going on and on for absolutely years.

Also can you stop calling me racist as that is totally uncalled for - I am literally married to a Pakistani Muslim that's as unracist as you can get. I understand some people on here target me due to sticking up for Islam and the Qur'an and the middle east but this is pretty unintelligent even for you guys.


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05 May 2021, 10:06 am

We don't have mehr here - we used to have the opposite, dowry, but it's long gone by now as well.


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05 May 2021, 10:19 am

Generally speaking, the custom in America (at least, in my experience and observation) is that the bride and/or her family pays for the wedding and the reception, while the groom pays for the honeymoon, limo, and tuxes for his best man and ushers.  There is no dowry and no mahr involved.

Sadly, this seems to have led to the
"Bridezilla" phenomenon, when a bride acts in a demanding or unreasonable manner just because this is HER wedding, HER day, and sometimes even HER year!


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05 May 2021, 10:36 am

weirdperson75000 wrote:
salad wrote:
I dont understand why everyone is treating Lunella as racist when as someone himself whose parents are immigrants it is a fact amongst almost every immigrant I know, be they Pakistani, Algerian, Turk, Somali etc. that many people in the 3rd world are desperate gold diggers when it comes to the West and that they assume if someone is from America that they're financially loaded and that marrying them is a ticket to a better life. Heck, in my own family several of my own aunts and cousins later on admitted to marrying white men so they can come to America and get their green card, and they didnt give a damn about the man they married. If I had a dollar for every single American, including and especially including American of immigrant background like my family members, who complained about being hoodwinked by a girl they thought liked them from overseas who turned out to just wanted a green card, I would be rich. The phenomena of being wary of marrying people outside of America or falling in love with them isn't even racist or necessarily recent against brown immigrants: in Arthur Miller's famous play "A View From the Bridge" the plot of that story centers around the main character Eddie Carbone not wanting his niece to marry an Italian immigrant fearing that he was a "submarine", i.e. someone who comes to America and marries one of the white woman to get their green card.

It's a real phenomena and if you people only knew what people around the world actually thought of America as you'd understand where this fear comes from. My sister has traveled across practically the entire Middle East and parts of Asia and she, as corroborated by many other immigrants I know, said that in many poorer countries the people view Americans as being loaded with cash. Even I myself whenever I go overseas to visit my home country of Palestine as someone as the locals detect Im from America by my accent I get accosted and haggled for money.


I actually second that :?
I don't think that filipinas are any different from western girls regarding sexual attraction or beauty standards.



You’re wrong. Very wrong.

Exotic is attractive to many. It’s exactly like how many non-Asians find the Asian features attractive, many of them also find Caucasian features attractive. It is a two ways common attraction.

I had *casual* relationships with Asian women, meaning they were purely FWB/fling relationships. There was no money involved, each paid for their own stuff, and gifting was mutual. The attraction was mostly physical.

They found me very attractive, they told me that my caucasian features, especially the nose shape is very attractive to them.


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Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 05 May 2021, 10:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

Lunella
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05 May 2021, 10:37 am

With our experience since we're in the west, one of the girls who married into our family - their family was like the gypsy version of Pakistanis, they paid for everything on the 1st wedding then there was a second half of the wedding (the groom side) in which we spent about £30k on, they spent probably about £4k or something on their side, so you can see how they still expect the western side of the family to pay the big money.

It's also tradition for the parents of the girl to buy furniture to move in with, you know what they did? Went to a second hand cheap shop spent about £300 on broken furniture with stains and marks all over it, we had to replace the lot when she moved into the big family home but that was their plan right from the start.

This girl was British born but because the family was mainly from Pakistan we still have massive issues with this annoying gold digger mentality, it seems to be the mothers who do this then control the girls. It's not good for the girl though because she's being made to basically be a mule for the family to get more money to send back and it seems to never end with drama.

They will go as far as saying their sister is dying in hospital and she gets out like 2 days later and reported back from someone keeping an eye on that family she's got a new handbag in the village she's from. It's absolutely mental and so stressful for the elders of the family, my husbands mum who doesn't speak a word of English even said to him she made a mistake with this family but now they can't divorce because a guy divorcing a woman is quite a bad thing for her because she won't be able to get married as easily again being considered a divorcee.

My husband is very well travelled and I'm told this stuff happens a hell of a lot not only in Pakistan but tons of places around the world.


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05 May 2021, 10:48 am

Lunella wrote:
With our experience since we're in the west, one of the girls who married into our family - their family was like the gypsy version of Pakistanis, they paid for everything on the 1st wedding then there was a second half of the wedding (the groom side) in which we spent about £30k on, they spent probably about £4k or something on their side, so you can see how they still expect the western side of the family to pay the big money.

It's also tradition for the parents of the girl to buy furniture to move in with, you know what they did? Went to a second hand cheap shop spent about £300 on broken furniture with stains and marks all over it, we had to replace the lot when she moved into the big family home but that was their plan right from the start.

This girl was British born but because the family was mainly from Pakistan we still have massive issues with this annoying gold digger mentality, it seems to be the mothers who do this then control the girls. It's not good for the girl though because she's being made to basically be a mule for the family to get more money to send back and it seems to never end with drama.

They will go as far as saying their sister is dying in hospital and she gets out like 2 days later and reported back from someone keeping an eye on that family she's got a new handbag in the village she's from. It's absolutely mental and so stressful for the elders of the family, my husbands mum who doesn't speak a word of English even said to him she made a mistake with this family but now they can't divorce because a guy divorcing a woman is quite a bad thing for her because she won't be able to get married as easily again being considered a divorcee.

My husband is very well travelled and I'm told this stuff happens a hell of a lot not only in Pakistan but tons of places around the world.

Yeah, that's an abusive situation.
Within my culture frame, cutting ties with her family would be the recommended move - but I guess it's not that simple to actually do it.


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05 May 2021, 11:02 am

magz wrote:
Lunella wrote:
With our experience since we're in the west, one of the girls who married into our family - their family was like the gypsy version of Pakistanis, they paid for everything on the 1st wedding then there was a second half of the wedding (the groom side) in which we spent about £30k on, they spent probably about £4k or something on their side, so you can see how they still expect the western side of the family to pay the big money.

It's also tradition for the parents of the girl to buy furniture to move in with, you know what they did? Went to a second hand cheap shop spent about £300 on broken furniture with stains and marks all over it, we had to replace the lot when she moved into the big family home but that was their plan right from the start.

This girl was British born but because the family was mainly from Pakistan we still have massive issues with this annoying gold digger mentality, it seems to be the mothers who do this then control the girls. It's not good for the girl though because she's being made to basically be a mule for the family to get more money to send back and it seems to never end with drama.

They will go as far as saying their sister is dying in hospital and she gets out like 2 days later and reported back from someone keeping an eye on that family she's got a new handbag in the village she's from. It's absolutely mental and so stressful for the elders of the family, my husbands mum who doesn't speak a word of English even said to him she made a mistake with this family but now they can't divorce because a guy divorcing a woman is quite a bad thing for her because she won't be able to get married as easily again being considered a divorcee.

My husband is very well travelled and I'm told this stuff happens a hell of a lot not only in Pakistan but tons of places around the world.

Yeah, that's an abusive situation.
Within my culture frame, cutting ties with her family would be the recommended move - but I guess it's not that simple to actually do it.


Pretty much yeah, oh and there's the whole honour stuff that comes into it, that's another massive bag of drama.

So basically if we divorce her that family would basically become shamed in their village and people will be a lot more reluctant to marry them so they literally have to lie or try to cover it up. Years ago if you got divorced they'd literally just kill your daughter because they brought shame on the family/village, thank god that doesn't happen anymore though but the shame stigma among the really poor over there still exists. Similar shame happens in other cultures, I'm pretty sure something similar happens like that in Thailand, it definitely does in UAE.

It's sad really though because the girl is actually the innocent party but she's just simply being heavily controlled by the family. They will do stuff like threaten to cut off contact with her and not allow her to speak with members of the family and that is purely narcissistic.


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05 May 2021, 11:19 am

Lunella wrote:
They will do stuff like threaten to cut off contact with her and not allow her to speak with members of the family and that is purely narcissistic.

How about calling their cards and allowing them to go no contact? Without the divorce, the girl remains where she is.
It would do in my culture - thought, even the least divorcing European nation does not have it like what you describe.


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05 May 2021, 11:36 am

magz wrote:
Lunella wrote:
They will do stuff like threaten to cut off contact with her and not allow her to speak with members of the family and that is purely narcissistic.

How about calling their cards and allowing them to go no contact? Without the divorce, the girl remains where she is.
It would do in my culture.


Sadly it's conditioned into them with very heavy manipulation tactics to provide for the family because they've been raised by the family so she has to help them no matter what - but it would bring that shame stigma to our family then and we'd get comments thrown at us like we're being monsters keeping the girl from her family etc which really wouldn't go down well in a reputation-based community.

It's all very well thought out games these people are playing. Family reputation is a really important thing, not only in our culture but lots of them because if your reputation is bad no one will sell stuff to you let alone work with you and that's a resource that is too valuable to pass up.

I'll give you an example - with us we have a huge car business repairing part damaged cars then reselling them, a lot of the people who do stuff like respraying work, welding work or have special computers to fix internal batteries for the supercars all are part of our community because we run off a community where everyone knows each other as it's cheaper to do that then to get outsiders to do it, some stuff is even free depending on your family reputation like we could have done a huge thing for another family, the minute you start to look bad or you're going against that people seem to change their way with you if they think you've done something really bad in terms of family dramas, and this could mean having to get outsiders to do work which is quite expensive.

So you see - everything is intermingled with everything else and it's a very complex situation and this is why these narcissists are really dangerous to communities like this. If we don't fulfill their needs they'll start talking rubbish about us and people do blindly believe it.


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05 May 2021, 11:37 am

magz wrote:
Lunella wrote:
They will do stuff like threaten to cut off contact with her and not allow her to speak with members of the family and that is purely narcissistic.
How about calling their cards and allowing them to go no contact? Without the divorce, the girl remains where she is.  It would do in my culture - thought, even the least divorcing European nation does not have it like what you describe.
Seconded.  When someone issues a "My Way Or the Highway" ultimatum, it is usually best to call the "Highway" option.  Then the person making the ultimatum has no choice but to either retain their "honor" and go along with it, or swallow their pride and retract the ultimatum entirely.  This result in a win-win situation for the person to whom the ultimatum was issued.

Of course, this may only work in cultures that value the individual over the group.


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05 May 2021, 11:41 am

Lunella wrote:
magz wrote:
Lunella wrote:
They will do stuff like threaten to cut off contact with her and not allow her to speak with members of the family and that is purely narcissistic.

How about calling their cards and allowing them to go no contact? Without the divorce, the girl remains where she is.
It would do in my culture.


Sadly it's conditioned into them with very heavy manipulation tactics to provide for the family because they've been raised by the family so she has to help them no matter what - but it would bring that shame stigma to our family then and we'd get comments thrown at us like we're being monsters keeping the girl from her family etc which really wouldn't go down well in a reputation-based community.

It's all very well thought out games these people are playing. Family reputation is a really important thing, not only in our culture but lots of them because if your reputation is bad no one will sell stuff to you let alone work with you and that's a resource that is too valuable to pass up.

I'll give you an example - with us we have a huge car business repairing part damaged cars then reselling them, a lot of the people who do stuff like respraying work, welding work or have special computers to fix internal batteries for the supercars all are part of our community because we run off a community where everyone knows each other as it's cheaper to do that then to get outsiders to do it, some stuff is even free depending on your family reputation like we could have done a huge thing for another family, the minute you start to look bad or you're going against that people seem to change their way with you if they think you've done something really bad in terms of family dramas, and this could mean having to get outsiders to do work which is quite expensive.

So you see - everything is intermingled with everything else and it's a very complex situation and this is why these narcissists are really dangerous to communities like this. If we don't fulfill their needs they'll start talking rubbish about us and people do blindly believe it.
Does not perpetuating clear abuse harm one's reputation?


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05 May 2021, 11:50 am

magz wrote:
Lunella wrote:
magz wrote:
Lunella wrote:
They will do stuff like threaten to cut off contact with her and not allow her to speak with members of the family and that is purely narcissistic.

How about calling their cards and allowing them to go no contact? Without the divorce, the girl remains where she is.
It would do in my culture.


Sadly it's conditioned into them with very heavy manipulation tactics to provide for the family because they've been raised by the family so she has to help them no matter what - but it would bring that shame stigma to our family then and we'd get comments thrown at us like we're being monsters keeping the girl from her family etc which really wouldn't go down well in a reputation-based community.

It's all very well thought out games these people are playing. Family reputation is a really important thing, not only in our culture but lots of them because if your reputation is bad no one will sell stuff to you let alone work with you and that's a resource that is too valuable to pass up.

I'll give you an example - with us we have a huge car business repairing part damaged cars then reselling them, a lot of the people who do stuff like respraying work, welding work or have special computers to fix internal batteries for the supercars all are part of our community because we run off a community where everyone knows each other as it's cheaper to do that then to get outsiders to do it, some stuff is even free depending on your family reputation like we could have done a huge thing for another family, the minute you start to look bad or you're going against that people seem to change their way with you if they think you've done something really bad in terms of family dramas, and this could mean having to get outsiders to do work which is quite expensive.

So you see - everything is intermingled with everything else and it's a very complex situation and this is why these narcissists are really dangerous to communities like this. If we don't fulfill their needs they'll start talking rubbish about us and people do blindly believe it.
Does not perpetuating clear abuse harm one's reputation?


Sadly it's not seen like how we see it, it's seen as like we're the abusers for cutting her off from her family because her family would 100% play the victim card and turn it on us in a big way, this always happens unfortunately. The best we can do in this situation is provide her with a nice clean home to live in and pretend we don't have as much money as they think we do.

The only way to get rid of these girls is to make them agree to a separation and not a divorce then move them into their own house and give them the keys because it doesn't look as bad then. Then the man can remarry as in Islam they're allowed up to 4 wives but only under the condition of being able to provide equally for them, if you can't do that you can't have another wife basically. So this is why giving them their own deeds to a house is a good way to get them to agree to go away pretty much without harming each others reputation, kind of like a mutual agreement and that way the abuse stops too.


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05 May 2021, 12:54 pm

I don't think the whole community & rep thing here in the US is anywhere close as important as where you are Lunella. Lots of businesses & rich businessmen here in the US have horrible reps but keep raking in the cash. For example WalMart & Donald Trump. Here in America it is the money that talks. The rich can afford expensive legal teams that have their wives sign prenups & the rich also have powerful connections they can exploit to protect themselves, their businesses, & other assets in the event of their wife filing for divorce. That is probably a factor as to why Melania Trump has not divorced Donald. If it was easy for her to be granted a divorce & take half of everything he's got, she probably woulda by now. I am NOT trying to turn this into a political discussion, I'm just making an example to prove a point. My point is that I do not think there is a mega huge risk of Muse being controlled by a wife if he does marry a Filipino or other foreign woman. Fnord mentioned some good precautions for him to take & I thought to add that him getting the woman to sign a prenup might help discourage a greedy overseas women from planing to file for divorce after she gets here in the US & walking away with most of his stuff if he refuses to comply with her every demand. It might also help for him to be upfront & honest about not being mega rich. That might discourage the conartists from even trying with him.


The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Desiring to marry a rich man is not exclusive for migrants though. Your aunts and cousins happen to be gold diggers, sorry to say it. :P

Gold digging is a cross-borders universal things, and it takes many shapes.

Dating apps are full of scams to begin with.
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05 May 2021, 1:32 pm

I don't know how American stuff works at all but my point is just to please make sure you're not getting yourself involved in these bloody exhilarating narcissism families that seem to be everywhere lately by showing my family's experience with it and how ridiculously stressful it can be for everyone involved. They literally use the daughter as a false advertisement and it makes me feel ill thinking about it. The lies are the worst part tbh, they're such rubbish made up lies it's like a slap in the face just to get money.


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06 May 2021, 9:59 pm

Update: So iv'e been talking to this girl for about a few weeks and we've agreed to video chat each other sometime next week. Assuming we actually do video chat, then at least it will prove to me that she's not a catfish.

I sent out a message to video chat with another girl but I have yet to hear back from her. Messenger says she hasn't left me on read so we'll see whether or not she responds.



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07 May 2021, 3:11 pm

I'm going to weigh in here on this as I have a history with Filipino dating sites...good and bad. So stick around if you want to read a long post!

I have met many women via Filipino dating websites and married two of them (no, not at the same time!). I am a NT male parent of an autistic daughter (now 21).

I actually met my first Filipino wife through a website that wasn't a personals site but an early Philippines website back in the late 90s that had a classified section and, unbeknownst to her, one of her office mates had posted about her and I responded. When her office mate thought that I was a good prospect, she informed my future first wife who, not wanting to take the time to write an email, sent her resume instead. I thought this was hilarious and we did, in fact, end up talking and later that year, my work took me to the Philippines and we met, and after two months, we decided to get married. She had a good job that paid well by Filipino standards but, of course, getting married to me and coming to the States would significantly improve her living standards.

We were married six years and our daughter was born during that time. I only later learned that my Filipino wife had mental health issues and, as a result, we ended up getting divorced and I took on raising our autistic daughter on my own.

Since I was never a Brad Pitt look-a-like, I found that it was very hard to date with American women (even if they had autistic children of their own) as they didn't want to take on an autistic child if even if they had one of their own as it wasn't "their" child. So I fully understand how it is for single mothers with autistic children and how difficult it can be for them to find a husband. It was harder for me though as my autistic daughter has anger management issues and that stressed out most women who met her.

So, after attempting with American women, I decided to try one of those Filipino dating sites (and one of them was FilipinoCupid.com) and yes, I had HUNDREDS of women "interested" in me. But I was careful, I thought, as I knew about the scammers and was well aware of my six years with my first Filipino wife and her mental issues.

I did, finally, meet what I thought was a good Filipina and she and I talked and emailed every day for over a year before I finally decided to fly out to meet her. We spent a wonderful few weeks together. Another year later, I decided that it was long enough and I wanted to propose to her and the romantic part of me wanted to go over the top to do it.

I had seen a YouTube video where a guy proposed to his girlfriend by getting her onto a helicopter and then flying over an area where her family (and his) were holding out a banner asking her to marry. I liked that idea and arranged to have a 25' foot long full color banner in pink and white with doves on both ends and the words asking her to marry made and for it to be shipped to her brother in advance of my second trip. For the second trip, I arranged for both my mother and daughter to go so that she could get to meet (especially) my daughter so that she could see what she was getting into if she said yes. I also arranged for a private plane charter to fly over her island (called Bohol) and over the mountaintop near her home where her brother and the rest of her family would be holding the banner and waving. I also arranged for a videographer to go along who had on the uniform of the charter plane company and that it was just an extra add-on to our "aerial tour". So, yes, she said yes, and afterwards everyone gave her roses on landing. (If any of you think I'm ultra-rich, I'm not -- the private charter plane only cost $350, the banner about $100, and the videographer about $200 as this was back in 2007 and paid in Philippine Pesos).

I had decided that it was better for her to get married in the Philippines as all of her family would be there and we scheduled the wedding for a year later in 2008 and she was to make the local arrangements and, believe it or not, one can have quite a big wedding there for about $3000 USD that could accommodate about 100 people.

Well, about a month before we were all to fly there to again (my mother, my daughter, and myself), my fiancée began not to talking to me and I got concerned that she was having second thoughts or fears over getting married.

However, that was not the case. Her best friend ended up confiding in me that she was several months pregnant and as I had not been there for a year, I was definitely NOT the Dad to what was in her oven. She had slept with some Filipino guy. So, of course, that ended our marriage plans right then and there.

After that, I swore off Filipino women and said never again. Famous last words.

On another dating website (not a Filipino one) I met another Filipina, who had a very good position as the assistant to the chief manager at a five-star hotel in Singapore and she had no financial reason to improve her life by coming to the U.S. but we hit it off pretty well as she had a daughter too (not autistic) but was willing to accept my daughter (or so I thought). She came over to the U.S. on a tourist visa with her daughter but, after a month, decided it wasn't for her after all. Granted, moving from a wonderful metropolis like Singapore to an American small suburb with strip shopping centers and no real night life was a big change.

Even after that, I thought, never a Filipina again!

But after again striking out with American women, I found my way back to a Filipino dating site and this time met another Filipina who would end up being my second wife. She was well-educated, came from a middle-class Filipino family (ironically, she came from the same small city as the woman that I had proposed to and she had the baby with the Filipino guy!). This is rather amazing considering the Philippines has 7.107+ islands and thousands of towns. She had a degree in Psychology and had been around those who were autistic and she got to know my autistic daughter over video calls (as the technology for that was getting better around then).

About eight months later, I went to visit her and decided to propose then and there and she accepted and six months later she arrived on a Fiancée visa. Yes, I was doing my own 90-Day Fiancée show (I would've been the perfect candidate for this show but it came later).

She and I are still in love and it's five years later. Has it been easy for her with my daughter? No. My daughter still has anger management issues but my wife is able to be firm with her and stand her ground which I admire.
My Filipino wife is 13 years younger than me but she is in her early 40s now and I'm in my mid 50s. So I'm not one of those guys that was going over to the Philippines (like Big Ed from the 90 Day Fiancée show for those of you that know him) who are only interested in dating women that in their early or mid 20s. My wife was in her late 30s when we met. She was beautiful then and she still beautiful now (although she is obsessing over a few gray hairs she's finding).

So that's my stories when it comes to Filipino dating sites and how my love life evolved because of them. I can say there is good and bad in them and that good relationships can come out of them but I think both people have to be extremely honest and open in order for the relationship to ultimately be successful.

If my first wife had not hidden her mental health issues, I would never have married her. But then I would not have had my daughter who was the one true blessing out of that. The woman whom I proposed who later got pregnant with another man's child was another lesson that extreme distances can mean that that the other person can't keep the commitment or trust of the other person.

I love watching these 90 Day Fiancée shows as I see so much of what I've been through in these shows.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Reward yourself, go out and buy an ice cream! I am, after spending an hour writing this!

Salamat po (thank you in Tagalog)

Alyssa's Dad