Does Anyone Else Just NOT Do Online Dating?

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CollegeGirlAnon
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22 May 2021, 5:36 pm

Like I have done it once, and tbh I have in the past thought about meeting someone I talk with online.

And tbh I have never gone through with it except for one time. Just because I tend to think about the safety implications.

To me there is just no way of knowing who you are really talking to online. And what exactly they are like.

Emotions often get intense online as well, so people get emotionally attached to someone they don’t really know (I really don’t myself tbh).

To me there is no way to know if someone is, say, a rapist/abusive or not based off of talking to them online. And if they have gotten you emotionally attached to them while talking online it is easier for them to become abusive when you meet IRL.

Anyone else like this?


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IsabellaLinton
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22 May 2021, 5:48 pm

Never have, never would. You couldn't pay me to market myself online, or date anyone from the internet.



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22 May 2021, 6:09 pm

I got married too long ago to have ever done it, but I have seen WP members find partners for LTRs on line. In both specific cases I can think of I believe both used OK Cupid. Also in both cases the partners were local. I get a bad impression about Tinder. I think some people got good results from that when it first came out but now I most only hear about bad experiences.


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IsabellaLinton
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22 May 2021, 6:12 pm

MaxE wrote:
I got married too long ago to have ever done it, but I have seen WP members find partners for LTRs on line. In both specific cases I can think of I believe both used OK Cupid. Also in both cases the partners were local. I get a bad impression about Tinder. I think some people got good results from that when it first came out but now I most only hear about bad experiences.


WP is different, in my opinion.

It's not a dating site where people are advertising themselves in the same way. The relationships seem to be more authentic because they don't begin with the same framework.

I guess I should rephrase my answer to say that meeting on a forum or other internet method is preferential to sites which are designed solely for dating, with photos and fake profiles, etc.



MaxE
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22 May 2021, 6:18 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
MaxE wrote:
I got married too long ago to have ever done it, but I have seen WP members find partners for LTRs on line. In both specific cases I can think of I believe both used OK Cupid. Also in both cases the partners were local. I get a bad impression about Tinder. I think some people got good results from that when it first came out but now I most only hear about bad experiences.


WP is different, in my opinion.

It's not a dating site where people are advertising themselves in the same way. The relationships seem to be more authentic because they don't begin with the same framework.

I guess I should rephrase my answer to say that meeting on a forum or other internet method is preferential to sites which are designed solely for dating, with photos and fake profiles, etc.

Well what I specifically mean is WP members who found partners on OK Cupid. I am aware of some relationships that developed on WP but those aren't the ones I'm referring to. Please accept my apology if it seems I am contradicting you in a rude manner!


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IsabellaLinton
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22 May 2021, 6:39 pm

MaxE wrote:
I got married too long ago to have ever done it, but I have seen WP members find partners for LTRs on line. In both specific cases I can think of I believe both used OK Cupid. Also in both cases the partners were local. I get a bad impression about Tinder. I think some people got good results from that when it first came out but now I most only hear about bad experiences.


No offence taken! I didn't think you were contradicting me, and I knew that you meant WP members had met their partners on regular dating sites. That's awesome! I'm just very shy, and traumatised, and I wouldn't have the balls to try it.

When you mentioned WP it made me realise that there are couples who were both members on here. Even though there can be predatory behaviour on a forum, in my opinion it's still safer than a dating site. We kind of all know each other here, and there are moderators we trust. I assume most people on here talk on the open public forum for quite a while before talking privately or meeting. I think if one of our members really screwed someone around, or abused them, they'd have to answer to us all. We all kind of have each other's back and there's more accountability. Mods can also check IP addresses and ferret out any trolls and creeps. It seems like a bit more of a safety net (in my opinion) than traditional dating sites where the people seem to come and go more anonymously.

Your post made me stop and realise that I should rephrase my answer.



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22 May 2021, 6:48 pm

Maybe it would be different if I actually was seeking a romantic relationship, but I’ve always found the idea of signing up for an online dating site extremely off-putting. I probably would be too trusting and gullible, but I very likely would not think of that until I got tricked. The main reason I would never consider it is that I have an extremely difficult time saying no to or otherwise knowingly doing or saying anything that I know will make other people unhappy. I don’t even like to say where I’d prefer to go for lunch if it would also affect other people :lol: When I was looking for a job, I was very worried that I’d end up with more than one job offer and would have to turn down at least one ( :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: ), I expect I would have much the same sort of fears if I was “marketing” myself for a relationship instead of a job. Also have a hard time coming up with anything positive about myself, and if I do mention anything feel like I have to extremely obviously show it at all times or be branded a liar, so I’d probably have the same problem as I actually had when looking for a job, too. ...Why, yes, I do have severe social phobia, how could you tell? :roll:

But it’s all irrelevant for me, anyway, since I have no desire for a romantic relationship and seem to be entirely incapable of feeling romantic love at all.


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CollegeGirlAnon
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22 May 2021, 9:23 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
MaxE wrote:
I got married too long ago to have ever done it, but I have seen WP members find partners for LTRs on line. In both specific cases I can think of I believe both used OK Cupid. Also in both cases the partners were local. I get a bad impression about Tinder. I think some people got good results from that when it first came out but now I most only hear about bad experiences.


No offence taken! I didn't think you were contradicting me, and I knew that you meant WP members had met their partners on regular dating sites. That's awesome! I'm just very shy, and traumatised, and I wouldn't have the balls to try it.

When you mentioned WP it made me realise that there are couples who were both members on here. Even though there can be predatory behaviour on a forum, in my opinion it's still safer than a dating site. We kind of all know each other here, and there are moderators we trust. I assume most people on here talk on the open public forum for quite a while before talking privately or meeting. I think if one of our members really screwed someone around, or abused them, they'd have to answer to us all. We all kind of have each other's back and there's more accountability. Mods can also check IP addresses and ferret out any trolls and creeps. It seems like a bit more of a safety net (in my opinion) than traditional dating sites where the people seem to come and go more anonymously.

Your post made me stop and realise that I should rephrase my answer.


I don’t even know if I would get involved romantically with someone I met on here...considering I think I may not have ASD (tho I was diagnosed with ASD child so there is no way I faked that).

If I did get involved with someone off here they would have to understand that I have my lines and boundaries and I don’t like them crossed.


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IsabellaLinton
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22 May 2021, 10:19 pm

CollegeGirlAnon wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
MaxE wrote:
I got married too long ago to have ever done it, but I have seen WP members find partners for LTRs on line. In both specific cases I can think of I believe both used OK Cupid. Also in both cases the partners were local. I get a bad impression about Tinder. I think some people got good results from that when it first came out but now I most only hear about bad experiences.


No offence taken! I didn't think you were contradicting me, and I knew that you meant WP members had met their partners on regular dating sites. That's awesome! I'm just very shy, and traumatised, and I wouldn't have the balls to try it.

When you mentioned WP it made me realise that there are couples who were both members on here. Even though there can be predatory behaviour on a forum, in my opinion it's still safer than a dating site. We kind of all know each other here, and there are moderators we trust. I assume most people on here talk on the open public forum for quite a while before talking privately or meeting. I think if one of our members really screwed someone around, or abused them, they'd have to answer to us all. We all kind of have each other's back and there's more accountability. Mods can also check IP addresses and ferret out any trolls and creeps. It seems like a bit more of a safety net (in my opinion) than traditional dating sites where the people seem to come and go more anonymously.

Your post made me stop and realise that I should rephrase my answer.


I don’t even know if I would get involved romantically with someone I met on here...considering I think I may not have ASD (tho I was diagnosed with ASD child so there is no way I faked that).

If I did get involved with someone off here they would have to understand that I have my lines and boundaries and I don’t like them crossed.


100% agree. I wouldn't be comfortable either. I'm just saying that between the two options I think this would be a little safer for the average person. At least here, people get to know each other in basic general ways like friends. People don't come here with the express desire of meeting a partner or having a hookup. We join just to hang out and laugh and be a group community. Dating sites are created for the purpose of one-on-one connections, sex, and / or relationships. I doubt people on Tinder would want to play Leap Frog with me. I mean, the internet game of Leap Frog. 8) lol



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23 May 2021, 2:19 am

No i dont do online dating.



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23 May 2021, 9:24 am

I understand why a sizeable portion of women don't do online dating. There's a risk of sexual or physical abuse. There's also dozens of creeps flooding their inbox, sexual harassment and misogyny in general.

I'm a straight male. But hypothetically, if I were gay, I'd be a bit scared to meet men.



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23 May 2021, 8:18 pm

I don’t do dating sites, but I try to meet people on groups pertaining to my interests.


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24 May 2021, 1:08 pm

I never did dating sites and most likely never will. First, I am bad at photos second, I can't sell myself as something super interesting for worth a dang and third, I would be riddled with anxiety because I have no idea what to say in such circumstances.



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24 May 2021, 1:15 pm

Nope....but I did conventional "want ad" dating back in the 80s.

I'm fortunate that I got married in the mid 90s----right when the Internet was really getting off the ground.



ACuriousCreature
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26 May 2021, 10:53 pm

Never used an online dating site the concept seems really unappealing and I've seen what happens when my buddies use tinder POF or any of the other sites its mostly just for hookups, however I do think the safety concern is overblown and theoretically I can find a lot more about a person online then I can if i start chatting up a stranger off the street to be fair though I'm a tall young male so I have some bias when it comes to the safety aspect in short I have no interest since Im looking for something long term and i seem to have decent success just hanging out with girls usually



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28 May 2021, 7:48 pm

CollegeGirlAnon wrote:
Like I have done it once, and tbh I have in the past thought about meeting someone I talk with online.

And tbh I have never gone through with it except for one time. Just because I tend to think about the safety implications.

To me there is just no way of knowing who you are really talking to online. And what exactly they are like.

Emotions often get intense online as well, so people get emotionally attached to someone they don’t really know (I really don’t myself tbh).

To me there is no way to know if someone is, say, a rapist/abusive or not based off of talking to them online. And if they have gotten you emotionally attached to them while talking online it is easier for them to become abusive when you meet IRL.

Anyone else like this?


Nah I got over my reservations because I work full-time and don't want to date someone @ work. Online sites are convenient, I get exposure to women without having to invest a lot of time hanging out. If you are not on them you are missing out as a woman, the odds definitely favor women.

Any guy you meet at church could also be a rapist/abusive, the only way to really be safe is stay home alone, for life. There is nothing special about the online sites that makes them any worse, and what makes them better is you can message and talk on the phone before actually meeting in real life.


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