I used to think I was single because I was ugly

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Minervx_2
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 22 May 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 142

25 May 2021, 10:14 am

I've had self-esteem issues for years. I used to think I was horribly ugly, but over the past few years I've realized that I actually am handsome.

Throughout my teens and 20's, I thought I was single because of my looks, when in reality it was because I was:

1) Socially awkward
2) Immature
3) Reclusive/ staying inside and missing lots of opportunities to meet people
4) Negative and pessimistic
5) Lacking the courage to talk to people I was interested in

It's easy to blame the things we don't have control over (i.e. looks), but instead, it's better to pay attention to the things we do have control over.



xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 28
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 3,703
Location: Inferno Faction

25 May 2021, 1:51 pm

Minervx_2 wrote:
I've had self-esteem issues for years. I used to think I was horribly ugly, but over the past few years I've realized that I actually am handsome.

Throughout my teens and 20's, I thought I was single because of my looks, when in reality it was because I was:

1) Socially awkward
2) Immature
3) Reclusive/ staying inside and missing lots of opportunities to meet people
4) Negative and pessimistic
5) Lacking the courage to talk to people I was interested in

It's easy to blame the things we don't have control over (i.e. looks), but instead, it's better to pay attention to the things we do have control over.


I used to feel the same way. I’ve been single for seven years after being in four relationships (not at the same time) and thought it was due to the fact I’m bigger, have curly brown hair and I’m not an influencer. Then I found out lots of guys like girls my size and don’t think curly hair is manly. It’s really good you realized that you’re not ugly.

There are some physical aspects we can’t control. We can either pity ourselves or move on and be our best self. I’m single because I’m different than the women where I live. I have nothing in common with any of the guys!

tl;dr: You are correct and I went through a very similar thing.


_________________
“The most sophisticated people I know- inside they are all children “
-Jim Henson


DuckHairback
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 239
Location: Dorset

27 May 2021, 3:48 pm

All anyone has to do is spend five minutes looking around in a public place at some of the people who have successfully attracted a partner and they'll rapidly see how important good looks are.

You're right, blaming your appearance is just a way of absolving yourself of responsibility for making any changes. Congratulations on your enlightenment :D



Fenn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,043
Location: Pennsylvania

07 Jul 2021, 6:37 pm

I also used to think I was single because I was ugly.
Once I realized that was not the case it was actually a valuable thing for me.
I was able to start to change things I could control - what I wear - how I talked - how i combed and cut my hair.
Take one step in the right direction.
It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.


_________________
ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(undiagnosed - maybe)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie


AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,850
Location: Portland, Oregon

09 Jul 2021, 1:00 pm

Would you be willing to post a pic of yourself here on WP?


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


Fenn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,043
Location: Pennsylvania

10 Jul 2021, 12:00 pm


_________________
ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(undiagnosed - maybe)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie