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Jamesy
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29 May 2021, 7:10 am

At the moment when I hang out with the regulars at the pub (they are a lot older than me) they compliment other people in the group on how well they dress.

I have gone out wearing some very smart clothes but no one ever comments on how smart I look.

Do you think that seems slightly weird?



RightGalaxy
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29 May 2021, 7:42 am

Because you are young, they figure you don't need the ego boost. You can dress
shabby because you have the gift of youth still. They need to feel better about themselves because they are feeling old age. It's more than just looking old, it's feeling it as well - physically and emotionally. It's a possibility also that they think you hang with them just to look better because they are older. When I was young, girls loved to hang with me because I was fun but couldn't get a guy due to my weight at the time. I would attract all the guys that they would NEVER date. It was a win-win for them.



Jamesy
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29 May 2021, 8:11 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Because you are young, they figure you don't need the ego boost. You can dress
shabby because you have the gift of youth still. They need to feel better about themselves because they are feeling old age. It's more than just looking old, it's feeling it as well - physically and emotionally. It's a possibility also that they think you hang with them just to look better because they are older. When I was young, girls loved to hang with me because I was fun but couldn't get a guy due to my weight at the time. I would attract all the guys that they would NEVER date. It was a win-win for them.



That's a good explination



kraftiekortie
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29 May 2021, 2:33 pm

Isn’t there somewhere else you can hang out other than the pub?

I don’t hang out in pubs because most people who hang out in pubs all the time are either alcoholics or idiots.



Fenn
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29 May 2021, 3:10 pm

People are strange.

But it may be more about them than it is about you.

You could try a scientific experiment where you document the types of things people are wearing when they get a positive sounding comment. See if you can detect a pattern. Aspies are often good at patterns.

How many are wearing button down shirts? How many are wearing a jacket or a sweater? How many are wearing a tie or a tee shirt? What kind of pants? What colors? What type of material? Does the size of the collar seem to matter? Do people tend to compliment people who dress like themselves?

After gathering data you can decide for yourself if you want to try another experiment of wearing the types of clothing that get compliments and see if you get compliments too - or you can just enjoy the learning and growth in knowledge but decide that you want to "dare to be different". Sometimes there are rules to these things that such an experiment can uncover. You could also ask a friend that you trust to help make observations with you. Make a game out of it.

As others have pointed out it may have nothing really to do with the clothing at all - it may be that those who give compliments tend to get them, or there may be a specific change in clothing from one day to another that signals something like a special event in the person's life and the compliment is actually a request to know more about the event. Or the people exchanging compliments already have a relationship established based on something else and the compliment is actually a greeting recognizing or reinforcing the relationship.

If you decide to try the experiment please share the observations here!


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ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(undiagnosed - maybe)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie