32 and still can’t get a coffee date.

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Marknis
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30 May 2021, 11:36 pm

I feel really despondent that I am 32 and still can’t even get a simple coffee date. It’s supposed to be the most easiest of dates that can happen but for me, it feels like something I can only dream about.

I have cousins whom I’ve known since they were babies who are getting married and having children of their own while my best efforts only lead to fizzled out conversations, dead ends, and sometimes hostility. I see couples everywhere I go and it makes me not want to leave home most of the time.

Even the people in group therapy have relationships despite how I was constantly told depression would never get me a relationship. I feel like both society and life have denied me love.



funeralxempire
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30 May 2021, 11:49 pm

Me neither, yet somehow I've had really deep relationships that started online. I don't know what to suggest because not all of those were particularly healthy, but I basically focused on where I succeed and ignored where I failed.


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Marknis
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31 May 2021, 12:03 am

I tried to meet women in my area online but they either ghosted me or said they weren’t interested anymore and forgot to take their profiles down.



auntblabby
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31 May 2021, 12:20 am

i'm a senior and still no koffee klacthes [outside of my aspie group], much less coffee date.



funeralxempire
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31 May 2021, 12:48 am

Marknis wrote:
I tried to meet women in my area online but they either ghosted me or said they weren’t interested anymore and forgot to take their profiles down.


Maybe they kept looking but just didn't consider you their fit. It happens.
Maybe they're like us and never found someone they considered a fit.


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Gentleman Argentum
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31 May 2021, 5:22 am

Marknis wrote:
I feel really despondent that I am 32 and still can’t even get a simple coffee date. It’s supposed to be the most easiest of dates that can happen but for me, it feels like something I can only dream about.

I have cousins whom I’ve known since they were babies who are getting married and having children of their own while my best efforts only lead to fizzled out conversations, dead ends, and sometimes hostility. I see couples everywhere I go and it makes me not want to leave home most of the time.

Even the people in group therapy have relationships despite how I was constantly told depression would never get me a relationship. I feel like both society and life have denied me love.


If you're as desperate as that, simply lower your expectations; go after older, heavier women. They will likely be more responsive and more forgiving of any perceived shortcomings. I know a fellow that went out with a woman 20 years older, and they are still together after 5 years. She helps him out in areas where he falls short, and he helps her out in the bedroom. It can happen for you, but you need to get realistic about the type of women you can go out with.


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