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Joe90
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06 Jun 2021, 2:23 pm

I'm a straight female but I have these strange feelings about a couple of female celebrities. It's like a non-sexual crush. I love their faces, their voices and their characteristics. I could watch certain clips with them in over and over on YouTube and I get obsessed. I have even occasionally dreamed about cuddling up with them, but nothing more (fully clothed and no breasts or anything).

Female body parts don't turn me on. Male body parts do. If I imagine myself in a romantic relationship with another woman, I shudder. But I can still obsess over a female celebrity. I don't really have these feelings towards any women in real life, just 1 or 2 celebrities. I'm just confused. Since there's a sexuality term for everything these days, is there a specific term for this? Or is it just a normal thing?


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Lost_dragon
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06 Jun 2021, 6:13 pm

Aesthetic appreciation / admiration. This is a fairly common experience. You seek comfort in these images of women and perhaps look up to them or find them admirable in some other way. I suspect that your dreams reflect this and that you are embracing what they represent to you.

I used to frequent an LGBT forum (I still visit occasionally) and sometimes we would get straight members wondering similar queries. These threads would usually lead to a discussion on the difference between being attracted to someone and finding them attractive. It is possible to look at someone and think of them as attractive but not want anything to do with them romantically or sexually. Rather, you view them how you would view a piece of art. You can appreciate their fashion sense, their presence (such as voice and mannerisms) and their overall look. This is often referred to as a person's aesthetic or presentation.

Personally I can't think of a specific label for this other than aesthetic attraction. I don't want to come across as though I am label-policing, but I would say this is fairly typical and comes across as straight to me but you are welcome to use whatever label seems right.

There is a crowd that uses the fact that people can find others aesthetically pleasing / attractive as evidence that everyone is bisexual, but this is actually a harmful misconstrued narrative which erases the experiences of lesbians, straight women and even bisexual women. It is a narrative that is often used to dismiss relationships between women and I very rarely hear the "everyone is bisexual" concept aimed at men. Often such narratives are based on misunderstood studies and psychology literature taken out of context. I could go into this in further detail but I digress.

There is another crowd that refers to what you're describing as 'Spicy Straight' but please stay away from this toxic crowd. It is a heavily disliked term used by a small minority of women (typically online) and often used to hate on men. Sometimes used by homophobic trolls in an attempt to portray LGBT identities as a fad rather than something worthy of respect in order to discredit the community (or simply to get a negative reaction for their own amusement).


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28 Jun 2021, 4:32 am

You can definitely find another female beautiful without being romantically or sexually attracted to her. I actually think that's pretty normal. There have been both men and women I found handsome/beautiful without giving them any thought beyond that.

But you mentioned obsession. I could be wrong but it sounds to me like you're experiencing what is called a girl crush or man crush depending on the gender.

Going by 2 definitions of girl crush from Urban Dictionary:

"feelings of admiration and adoration which a girl has for another girl, without wanting to shag said girl. a nonsexual attraction, usually based on veneration at some level."

"A girlcrush is when a girl admires another girl. It is NOT a sexual attraction. It means you want to BE the person you have a girlcrush on, or simply you just want to be there best friend. You pretty much just think they're awesome."

I can relate to that, I've had a couple of man crushes. It's never sexual or romantic at all, just an obsession on a guy, sometimes IRL, sometimes celebrity, who I have some admiration for in some way. It is like an obsession but on a person, not a topic.
Right now I do actually have a man crush on someone and I read interviews he has given, and watch clips he is in (some of them for the umpteenth time), and even just look at pics of him. I find him an admirable guy.


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ArtsyFarsty
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03 Jul 2021, 10:09 pm

I don’t know. It could be just a “girl crush” or aesthetic appreciation; not necessarily sexual, but more like appreciative of her beauty.

I have found that, while there is a wide variety in men I find attractive, I am much more specific in the type of woman I find attractive. It’s very rare, but every once in a while I’ll cross paths with a woman and be like “Whoa, if we were both into it and unattached, I’d totally have sex with you right now.”



Last edited by ArtsyFarsty on 03 Jul 2021, 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

funeralxempire
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03 Jul 2021, 10:16 pm

I've heard the terms girl-crush and man-crush, and I've heard people describe themselves as homoromantic.


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Fern
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15 Jul 2021, 12:02 am

Joe90 wrote:
Since there's a sexuality term for everything these days, is there a specific term for this? Or is it just a normal thing?


How about "biromantic"?

"It's possible to be both biromantic and bisexual. This means you are both romantically and sexually attracted to people of multiple genders. However, some biromantic people have sexual orientations that differ from their romantic orientation."
source: healthline.com


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IsabellaLinton
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15 Jul 2021, 12:15 am

I've had plenty of crushes on girls / women as I grew up. I would have no problem identifying as bisexual if I were, but I'm not. I can say with experience that nope - it's not for me. I would have no problem identifying as biromantic if I were, but I'm even more definitely not attracted to women for relationships. The thought of romance with a woman is completely off-putting to me. I don't even have many women friends.

I gave it a lot of thought and realised I wasn't really crushing on those girls / women.

It turns out I wanted to BE THEM, rather than wanting to BE WITH them.

It was young-me being unaware of my autism, and seeing great girls / women who enthralled me. I wanted to copy their hair, their voice, their clothing, and especially their manner - so I could act more NT. I didn't have the terminology at the time, so I assumed it was harmless crushes or infatuations.

My main ones were Winona Ryder, Ally from The Breakfast Club, Chloe from Big Chill, and ... Diane Keaton.

Because who doesn't love Diane Keaton?