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romaco99
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23 Jun 2021, 6:52 pm

Hi!
I am 21 years old and I was diagnosed with ASD a few months ago.
What led to it
Similar to most aspies I always felt different to other people my age. However, when I heard of social anxiety I credited my messed up thought process to it straight away, but something still didn't sit right.

For the past several years I couldn't help wondering
- 'There's no way people think the way I do'
- 'Should I really be so anxious in this situation - it doesn't bother other people.... How do they all know what to do?'
...among other thoughts... I'm sure that would be familiar to my fellow aspies...

I was extremely quiet in school - I was a complete mouse, a complete perfectionist and a complete nerd when it came to grades.
Having basically emersed myself in studies I started in college (me here now!)

Safe to say, not knowing I was an aspie in college has caused me anxiety, depression, an eating disorder and overall not a good time :| Masking also sucks let me tell you (side note: reading about masking for the first time was THRILLING... ).
But that's all led to me getting my diagnosis! I'm so grateful to just know - and hopefully my final year will go well.. so far even just knowing I'm autistic has been a godsend.


How I feel about my Aspie-ness now!
Many things come to mind;
- I can't believe this whole world of Autism has always been here. All these terms that explain me in a nutshell simply existed this whole time and I was completely oblivious! Executive dysfunction, masking, alexithymia.... Seriously! There's a multitude of books, blogs, videos, active communities - basically an entire culture and having submerged myself into ASD research, I can't imagine not knowing all these things now.


I can be a bit ~intense :roll: ~ about things and characteristically I'm very determined to "do well" with my diagnosis.... utilizing effective strategies (energy management is a big one for me-particularly in a social context, combating disordered thoughts etc.)and also maximizing my strengths as an Aspie (passionate, academic, honest)
Having struggled without knowing I was autistic, I guess you could kind of say I'm sick of being anxious and depressed, not knowing what was wrong with me and I'm kinda excited about the diagnosis and how I can imporve my life.
Also side bonus, :star: nothing has peaked my interest like Autism in a long time :P It feels great to be so interested in something again!

There's a small part of me that is sad I wasn't diagnosed earlier. Looking through memories, it was so obvious. Looking at photos of me with my friends from school as a child, I even look different... nothing too drastic, just out of place (doesn't help that I have always looked way younger then I am, and didn't hit puberty till I was like 16.... not fun 8O )

One thing I've noticed about some autistic people I've come across... the ones who were diagnosed as children are much more confident in themselves and their aspieness. I can't help wondering how life might have been different for all late diagnosis people like me if we were diagnosed as children, and had embraced their quirks and been supported in transition periods e.g. starting college.
Yet, from what I've seen, many of you guys were diagnosed at much later ages then me, but I'm very glad we did all get here in the end!




anyway sorry for offloading... guess I just needed somewhere to talk
thanks for reading anyways :!:

I have some qs if anyone would offer their advice
- Best ways to retreat from social situations when feeling drained... I sometimes lie, but a) I'm not very good at it and
b) I feel bad

- There's some college aspie groups I've joined but have yet to partake in ... and advice on how to integrate into a group of fellow aspies... I'm usually quite anxious and overthink everything...



Mountain Goat
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23 Jun 2021, 6:59 pm

Hello. Welcome to Wrong Planet.



Double Retired
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24 Jun 2021, 4:52 pm

Welcome to WP! I think you will like your trips here. :)

My experience is a little different than yours. :roll: I was diagnosed at age 64. But I was so glad to find out what was going on; it explained so much.

I assume you are already developing some coping techniques. I often carry a small notepad with me so I can write reminder notes for myself, because my memory is very unreliable. And I try to set objects that will remind me somewhere where I will see them. And reminders on my computer (or calendar) are also very helpful.

And when dealing with other folk: Humor! You know you're going to get somethings wrong so it is better if you get laughed with rather than at.

If you and your friends are familiar with MBTI and if you are an "I" then that is something your friends might understand. It took a little while for me to get across to my bride there were times I needed to be left alone but that didn't mean I was mad at her...but she did understand MBTI well enough that she was able to understand that I needed some time to "Introvert" to recharge.

But, mostly, welcome to WP!


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MasterpieceofTurkeyCleverness
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24 Jun 2021, 6:30 pm

Welcome! I'm new here too, and have zero idea of how to interact with fellow aspies (sorry). As for leaving events early, as long as it's not /too/ early I just say, 'I have to go,' and don't give a reason why. If pressed by someone I don't know, I'll usually lie--if it's a friend, though, I claim introversion and/or exhaustion, which is not a lie.



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24 Jun 2021, 7:09 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet feel free to take a look around enjoy the entirety of the site.


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ct507
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24 Jun 2021, 7:36 pm

romaco99 wrote:
For the past several years I couldn't help wondering
- 'There's no way people think the way I do'
- 'Should I really be so anxious in this situation - it doesn't bother other people.... How do they all know what to do?'

- I can't believe this whole world of Autism has always been here. All these terms that explain me in a nutshell simply existed this whole time and I was completely oblivious! Executive dysfunction, masking, alexithymia.... Seriously! There's a multitude of books, blogs, videos, active communities


Welcome. Those questions were ones that stayed with me as well. How everyone else just seemed to intuitively know how they fit in arrangement at the lunch table, during recess, on field trips. I also remember the exhaustion that set in after a week of school, and yet feeling as though I earned an F socially if I didn't agree to spend the night or weekend over at a friend's house (which was equally draining); although they were each more acquaintances than anything, as it was much easier relating to parents and teachers more so than other students of a similar age. The anxiety thing too, made no sense personally. Why be so anxious about using the phone to order a pizza or approach the customer service desk? Anyway, thanks for sharing what all you've been through and good luck with what work remains at college.



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25 Jun 2021, 10:20 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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romaco99
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04 Jul 2021, 12:56 pm

ct507 wrote:

Welcome. Those questions were ones that stayed with me as well. How everyone else just seemed to intuitively know how they fit in arrangement at the lunch table, during recess, on field trips. I also remember the exhaustion that set in after a week of school, and yet feeling as though I earned an F socially if I didn't agree to spend the night or weekend over at a friend's house (which was equally draining); although they were each more acquaintances than anything, as it was much easier relating to parents and teachers more so than other students of a similar age. The anxiety thing too, made no sense personally. Why be so anxious about using the phone to order a pizza or approach the customer service desk? Anyway, thanks for sharing what all you've been through and good luck with what work remains at college.


Thanks for your reply!! !
Especially to a logical brain.... the anxiety does not make sense which is very frustrating.... :?
Just like you said there's no apparent reason to be anxious over a phone call etc.
Many school "friends" were also acquaintances to me also... ... we chatted in school and it was more of a "person to sit beside" kinda thing and social arrangements were well.... ....arrangements....
They were extremely draining and it felt like something that had to be done...
(Of course not always the case.. I did enjoy some of it :o .. but I definitely relate to pretty much everything you said)



romaco99
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04 Jul 2021, 1:05 pm

Double Retired wrote:
Welcome to WP! I think you will like your trips here. :)

My experience is a little different than yours. :roll: I was diagnosed at age 64. But I was so glad to find out what was going on; it explained so much.

I assume you are already developing some coping techniques. I often carry a small notepad with me so I can write reminder notes for myself, because my memory is very unreliable. And I try to set objects that will remind me somewhere where I will see them. And reminders on my computer (or calendar) are also very helpful.

And when dealing with other folk: Humor! You know you're going to get somethings wrong so it is better if you get laughed with rather than at.

If you and your friends are familiar with and if you are an "I" then that is something your friends might understand. It took a little while for me to get across to my bride there were times I needed to be left alone but that didn't mean I was mad at her...but she did understand MBTI well enough that she was able to understand that I needed some time to "Introvert" to recharge.

But, mostly, welcome to WP!


Hello hello!
Thank you... Very happy to have arrived at Wrong Planet
I'm very scatty - Notebook is a great idea!! ! I always have a million calendar/goal setting stationary things/planners in the hope that bombarding myself at least one of them would get through. :| :D

I'm an INFJ! It'll definitely be easier to explain to new people I'm introverted/quiet.... and explain myself in terms of personality rather than neurological brain differences... :wink: :? :D which is generally more understandable...



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04 Jul 2021, 3:09 pm

romaco99 wrote:
Notebook is a great idea!!
I'm in the U.S. which has not had the good sense to go Metric (yet). Here I can buy packages of blank, 3-inch by 5-inch notepads; the good thing about them is they fit into the front pocket of most shirts. I assume there is something comparable in your part of the world. (You have to remember to carry a pen, too!)

Before notepads that size were available I often carried a few blank index cards with me. Same size. Same use.

My bride is Neurodiverse but not on the Autism Spectrum (she's ADHD). We both agree her memory is much better than mine--but I'll note it is not uncommon for her to want to borrow my little notepad so she can writer a reminder for herself!

Welcome, again!


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When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.