Why do some women get mad that you have only been sexually

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League_Girl
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02 Jul 2021, 12:39 am

harassed when wearing clothing that shows your body?

Only time I have ever gotten unwanted attention from men was when I was showing my body like wearing a tank top, short shorts or just wear a sports bra and short shorts. And of course I got some unwanted attention when I was very pregnant wit my daughter and I wore long shorts and a long shirt them to cover my belly. I can assume they have pregnant fetish. This has been my experience as a woman when I have gotten unwanted attention.

But I notice this seems to make some women angry so I get downvoted and someone telling me f**k you on reddit.

And yes all men should learn to control themselves and leave women alone no matter what they have on and parents should stop teaching their sons and daughters that women are asking for it if they wear certain clothing and making your daughter change what she wears because she entered puberty earlier than other girls is going to teach her this mindset that you are asking for it. I can remember being in 6th grade when my mom told me I had to wear loose pants now or long shirts to cover my thighs because boys are staring at me. I had to unlearn this as an adult that if you don't want attention from men, don't reveal yourself and accept that maybe my mom was just wrong in how she handled it.


This wouldn't be the first time I have made people angry. I once made a bunch of moms angry for not having a ruined body from pregnancy. Oh lord. :roll:


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League_Girl
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02 Jul 2021, 12:52 am

I guess if women share their stories about sex assault or unwanted attention, they will get mad if I share mine because oh lord, how dare I not have on regular clothes when it happened. :roll:


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02 Jul 2021, 7:54 am

Attention is one thing. Harassment and assault are another. The former is a natural, biological response to visual stimuli, while the latter are crimes. You are not responsible for someone else's sex crimes. Full stop.



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02 Jul 2021, 8:11 am

League_Girl wrote:
I guess if women share their stories about sex assault or unwanted attention, they will get mad if I share mine because oh lord, how dare I not have on regular clothes when it happened. :roll:


It's nonsense anyways, I've gotten unwanted attention wearing pants that don't really show much shape and a t-shirt. But yeah, really should not matter what you are wearing there is no outfit that says 'I consent to anyone doing whatever they feel like to me' people should be taught not to harass people, not that what they wear has any bearing on it.


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02 Jul 2021, 8:17 am

League_Girl wrote:
Why do some women get mad that you have only been sexually harassed when wearing clothing that shows your body? [...]

[mansplaining]

Because, even in our modern (and supposedly progressive) society, there still exists the false notion that any woman who is harassed or assaulted while wearing "revealing" (a.k.a., "comfortable") clothing has somehow "asked for it".

:roll:

[/mansplaining]


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Shadow1888
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02 Jul 2021, 9:26 am

Wouldn't it be fair to say that their is women who dress in more revealing attire for the sole reason to seek attention?



Lost_dragon
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02 Jul 2021, 9:57 am

Modesty culture.

I used to get catcalled fairly often as a teenager. Occasionally I am still catcalled.

A possible reason why other women might be shaming you is to rationalise to themselves that they don't dress in such a way therefore they are safe from being catcalled (which is incorrect). Or, if they have been catcalled before, they might find comfort in the fact that they weren't wearing revealing clothing and therefore it wasn't their fault (it's not their fault regardless but they might feel like it is). So, you become an example in the hopes of receiving validation from others.

Shadow1888 wrote:
Wouldn't it be fair to say that there are women who dress in more revealing attire for the sole reason to seek attention?


Sometimes, but context is key. You can look respectfully at women. However, there is a difference between gawping at women and glancing over. Briefly glance, then look elsewhere. Don't look long enough for others to notice and most definitely do not stare. If she's just walking down the street, chances are she just wants to be left alone and to continue travelling to her destination. Don't whistle or make sexual comments.


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Fireblossom
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02 Jul 2021, 11:39 am

Maybe they think that when you point out that it has only happened to you when you've dressed revealingly, your message between the lines is that a) it won't happen if one doesn't dress like that or b) dressing like that is asking for it. Note that I don't think it's what you mean and I don't agree with either point, but I just think that some people might think that that's what you mean. You know, the thing about people reading stuff between the lines and trying to find some hidden purpose or message that isn't there in the first place.



Shadow1888
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02 Jul 2021, 11:54 am

I find it unfair that women who dont seek the attention get caught up in the cat calling and such, as women who do dress revealing for the attention give real women a bad name.



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02 Jul 2021, 12:28 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
I find it unfair that women who dont seek the attention get caught up in the cat calling and such, as women who do dress revealing for the attention give real women a bad name.


Even if someone is dressing revealing to seek a bit more attention, that doesn't mean they are seeking disrespectful cat-calling and or rude sexual comments, they may want to be noticed a bit but not harassed.


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02 Jul 2021, 12:34 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
I find it unfair that women who dont seek the attention get caught up in the cat calling and such, as women who do dress revealing for the attention give real women a bad name.

Like others have said, dressing revealing doesn't mean that a woman wants to be harassed and catcalled. I think blaming women that are comfortable dressing like that is an easy cop out for the fact that men should be keeping their eyes, mouths, and hands to themselves when it comes to women they don't know, even if the women are wearing "revealing" clothing.


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02 Jul 2021, 12:48 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
I find it unfair that women who dont seek the attention get caught up in the cat calling and such, as women who do dress revealing for the attention give real women a bad name.

Like others have said, dressing revealing doesn't mean that a woman wants to be harassed and catcalled. I think blaming women that are comfortable dressing like that is an easy cop out for the fact that men should be keeping their eyes, mouths, and hands to themselves when it comes to women they don't know, even if the women are wearing "revealing" clothing.


Mostly agree, though with keeping eyes to yourself it can be more complicated...I mean people are naturally drawn to look at things they like, I look at people I like the look of. But just don't be creepy about it like don't keep staring or making creepy expressions or saying gross things like 'oh id love me some of that' or idk whatever creepy things people might say. At least that is how I feel about looking.


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02 Jul 2021, 12:54 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
I find it unfair that women who dont seek the attention get caught up in the cat calling and such, as women who do dress revealing for the attention give real women a bad name.

Like others have said, dressing revealing doesn't mean that a woman wants to be harassed and catcalled. I think blaming women that are comfortable dressing like that is an easy cop out for the fact that men should be keeping their eyes, mouths, and hands to themselves when it comes to women they don't know, even if the women are wearing "revealing" clothing.


Mostly agree, though with keeping eyes to yourself it can be more complicated...I mean people are naturally drawn to look at things they like, I look at people I like the look of. But just don't be creepy about it like don't keep staring or making creepy expressions or saying gross things like 'oh id love me some of that' or idk whatever creepy things people might say. At least that is how I feel about looking.

Yeah, I guess I meant the staring aspect of that. Everyone glances at things that catch their attention, but there is a difference between glancing and outright continuing to stare.


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02 Jul 2021, 12:58 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
I find it unfair that women who dont seek the attention get caught up in the cat calling and such, as women who do dress revealing for the attention give real women a bad name.

Like others have said, dressing revealing doesn't mean that a woman wants to be harassed and catcalled. I think blaming women that are comfortable dressing like that is an easy cop out for the fact that men should be keeping their eyes, mouths, and hands to themselves when it comes to women they don't know, even if the women are wearing "revealing" clothing.


Adding on to that, a real woman :

1) Is an adult female.

2) Exists in reality.

They are the two requirements. I really tire of narratives that say "Real women are X,Y,Z", as if women who are not those things are merely a mirage. You meet one woman, you've met one woman. She's still real, regardless of what she does. Nor does she have to be a spokesperson for women, she just exists.


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HeroOfHyrule
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02 Jul 2021, 1:08 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
I find it unfair that women who dont seek the attention get caught up in the cat calling and such, as women who do dress revealing for the attention give real women a bad name.

Like others have said, dressing revealing doesn't mean that a woman wants to be harassed and catcalled. I think blaming women that are comfortable dressing like that is an easy cop out for the fact that men should be keeping their eyes, mouths, and hands to themselves when it comes to women they don't know, even if the women are wearing "revealing" clothing.


Adding on to that, a real woman :

1) Is an adult female.

2) Exists in reality.

They are the two requirements. I really tire of narratives that say "Real women are X,Y,Z", as if women who are not those things are merely a mirage. You meet one woman, you've met one woman. She's still real, regardless of what she does. Nor does she have to be a spokesperson for women, she just exists.

Yes, thank you for saying this. The "real woman" rhetoric is odd and is very rude, even to the women that are being treated as "real women". It puts unnecessary restrictions and standards onto them, just so they can basically be deemed "worthy" to receive respect from others.


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I use he/him pronouns.

I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I have two cats, a rabbit, and a dog. I also enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.

Empathy Quotient: 34/80
Systemizing Quotient: 104/150
Friendship Quotient: 56/140
Autism Quotient: 36/80

RAADS-R: 169

CAT-Q: 153
Compensation: 57
Masking: 47
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Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 144 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200.
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie).


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02 Jul 2021, 1:13 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
I find it unfair that women who dont seek the attention get caught up in the cat calling and such, as women who do dress revealing for the attention give real women a bad name.


Are women who dress in a revealing manner not real women? :chin:


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