Why do some women get mad that you have only been sexually

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League_Girl
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02 Jul 2021, 3:07 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Oh AITA subreddit.

Everyone is up for an argument there and black and white judgements. They probably read your first few sentences and had a knee jerk reaction.

It's a waste of time having a discussion there.

Interesting question though. I'm off to Reddit.


It was in amithedevil.


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funeralxempire
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02 Jul 2021, 3:10 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
Skank meaning
an unpleasant person, especially a woman who has sex with a lot of different people
And they dress in revealing attire. But that is what i was meaning so not referring to the op or all woman


I haven't suggested you're referring to all women. Dismissing a woman as a skank based on how she's dressed reflects poorly on you, not on her.


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02 Jul 2021, 3:12 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
Wouldn't it be fair to say that their is women who dress in more revealing attire for the sole reason to seek attention?



I dont find that comment appropriate for this thread. It's misogynistic and women can wear whatever they want without being harassed.


So i'm wrong? Nobody does that?


Are you seriously telling me that women want to be groped at, bothered, shouted at, whistled at, or even being asked to pose?

Show me where a woman has actually made this claim in saying the dress this way to get all this harassment because I have never seen it.


Their is a woman i know she goes out every weekend on the pull in revealing attire for the sole purpose to get attention and she openly acknowledges that is the reason she dresses that way and their are many others so that was what i meant. So you must know of these people.


There was a guy telling me his ex did enjoy getting cat called and whistled at because it made her feel like she looks good.

However, the vast majority of women don't feel like that. So what we are asking as a majority: blokes stop it.

Just because a handful of women like it, doesn't mean the rest of us do.

I'm not saying you behave like that shadow.

But just because you know women who like being whistled at doesn't mean they give a free pass to men to whistle. Hope that makes sense.

I'm guessing your argument is along the lines of , "how do we know who wants cat called and who doesn't when some women like it and actively encourage it?"

The default now is don't do it. Tough luck to those women who enjoy the attention, but even they don't want to be man-handled, groped and persistently bothered let alone anything physically abusive.



Last edited by hurtloam on 02 Jul 2021, 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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02 Jul 2021, 3:24 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
Skank meaning
an unpleasant person, especially a woman who has sex with a lot of different people
And they dress in revealing attire. But that is what i was meaning so not referring to the op or all woman


I haven't suggested you're referring to all women. Dismissing a woman as a skank based on how she's dressed reflects poorly on you, not on her.


Yup.

Personally, I find skank to be an outdated term. As long as she isn't cheating or spreading STD's and protection (along with consent) is involved, a woman who sleeps around is not doing any harm.


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Last edited by Lost_dragon on 02 Jul 2021, 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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02 Jul 2021, 3:25 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
Y
funeralxempire wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
Y
hurtloam wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I think I see what went wrong here.

Sometimes I might want to signal that I'm available. I might dress up, show a bit of leg or cleavage.

That's a fact. Sometimes us women do that.

No one is saying that does not happen.

However, saying that I have no self respect if I do that is where the argument went south.


I didnt say all women have no self respect just the one's i referred too, skanks or whatever any of you call them. Is anyone here seriously not understanding who i am talking about?


Calling them skanks is the issue silly. Calling just those women a name is the issue. No one is saying that you're calling all women skanks. The objection is that you are labelling any women a skank based on what they're wearing. They could be lovely for all you know.


I'm sorry, i was trying to explain but i cant find the right way too. I have it up here somewhere but half the time people struggle to understand what i'm trying to get at. Its frustrating cause it comes across wrong.


Do you have a word that isn't insulting? There isn't a meaning for the word skank that isn't an insult, unless you're talking about ska.

Skank meaning
an unpleasant person, especially a woman who has sex with a lot of different people
And they dress in revealing attire. But that is what i was meaning so not referring to the op or all woman


Well it is still considered an insult, I get what you mean...but I would not advise actually calling women skanks.

But yeah not sure why having sex with lots of different people or dressing in revealing attire necessarily make someone unpleasant. People don't seem to have a problem with men who have had sex with lots of different people, so why is it suddenly negative if a woman has? Certainly a double standard hence there not being like a male equivalent of skank.


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02 Jul 2021, 3:43 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
Wouldn't it be fair to say that their is women who dress in more revealing attire for the sole reason to seek attention?



I dont find that comment appropriate for this thread. It's misogynistic and women can wear whatever they want without being harassed.


So i'm wrong? Nobody does that?


Depends what you mean by attention? This is a difficult subject full of nuance.

She doesn't want randos shouting at her and groping her. She just wants to feel good about herself and try and attract someone in particular maybe.

There's such a mix of attitudes out there it's going to take a long time (years) to get some even ground on this subject.

It sucks being curvy because pretty much everything shows my figure. I can't do much about it except lose an unhealthy amount of weight. And I'm not doing that.

So... Do I wear a tent so that no men look? Hell no. They need to learn I just want to go about my day. To be fair I don't get bothered much these days. Maybe attitudes are changing already... Maybe it's just the city I live in.


So worse in 6th grade when my mom told me I had to wear very long shirts if I am going to wear stretch pants or wear loose pants if I am going to be wearing short shirts because boys were staring at me. This led to my future eating disorders and body image issues.

I told this in my post as well. And the thing is, I don't think my mom was trying to teach me if you don't want men to start at you, wear something else. I had to unlearn it. How my mom should have handled it instead was telling my teacher that she should tell her boy students to not look at me and to learn some manners and learn to respect women and not harass them.

And shoutout to that one teacher in the AITA thread for saying she has told her collogues off for suggesting her 4th grade student should dress different than her classmates because of early puberty.


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02 Jul 2021, 3:59 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
Wouldn't it be fair to say that their is women who dress in more revealing attire for the sole reason to seek attention?



I dont find that comment appropriate for this thread. It's misogynistic and women can wear whatever they want without being harassed.


So i'm wrong? Nobody does that?


Are you seriously telling me that women want to be groped at, bothered, shouted at, whistled at, or even being asked to pose?

Show me where a woman has actually made this claim in saying the dress this way to get all this harassment because I have never seen it.


Their is a woman i know she goes out every weekend on the pull in revealing attire for the sole purpose to get attention and she openly acknowledges that is the reason she dresses that way and their are many others so that was what i meant. So you must know of these people.



Good for her, she isn't hurting anyone so I disagree this makes women look bad. I've seen the same argument used against sex workers as well. Yes while these women may also be consenting and like the attention, that doesn't mean they want to get crude comments in their inbox or try and get men to pick them up and send them creepy messages. I mean there are women out there that do pay for sex services and do pay men to talk dirty to them and stuff but more power to them. Yes I have seen other women speak against these sort of women. Women can also be misogynists too.

I wouldn't be surprised the downvotes and angry comment came from women who hates sex workers or women that like to dress in a way that shows their body because they are not ashamed of their body but that contradicts the repost the OP made. Reason why I hid mine was because I was ashamed and hated how I looked and then I lost enough weight and was feeling good about myself so I decided to start going out in a sports bra or short shorts when I go for a run. And that was when I discovered all this attention from random guys and I thought "so is this what women were always talking about?" It would happen several times a week and I thought "imagine if this went on all day long or on a daily basis, it gets old." So yes I can see why women would fuss. Should I change what I wear when I go for a run? No. I have even had random men pull over just to talk to me and you know what? I just want to run damn it, not be bothered. I have also had some random men come up to me and start talking to me and I just want to be left alone and run. Yes I will be polite and brush it off and just think "well at least it doesn't happen all the time so I won't let that one incident ruin my run."


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Shadow1888
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02 Jul 2021, 4:05 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
Wouldn't it be fair to say that their is women who dress in more revealing attire for the sole reason to seek attention?



I dont find that comment appropriate for this thread. It's misogynistic and women can wear whatever they want without being harassed.


So i'm wrong? Nobody does that?


Are you seriously telling me that women want to be groped at, bothered, shouted at, whistled at, or even being asked to pose?

Show me where a woman has actually made this claim in saying the dress this way to get all this harassment because I have never seen it.


Their is a woman i know she goes out every weekend on the pull in revealing attire for the sole purpose to get attention and she openly acknowledges that is the reason she dresses that way and their are many others so that was what i meant. So you must know of these people.



Good for her, she isn't hurting anyone so I disagree this makes women look bad. I've seen the same argument used against sex workers as well. Yes while these women may also be consenting and like the attention, that doesn't mean they want to get crude comments in their inbox or try and get men to pick them up and send them creepy messages. I mean there are women out there that do pay for sex services and do pay men to talk dirty to them and stuff but more power to them. Yes I have seen other women speak against these sort of women. Women can also be misogynists too.

I wouldn't be surprised the downvotes and angry comment came from women who hates sex workers or women that like to dress in a way that shows their body because they are not ashamed of their body but that contradicts the repost the OP made. Reason why I hid mine was because I was ashamed and hated how I looked and then I lost enough weight and was feeling good about myself so I decided to start going out in a sports bra or short shorts when I go for a run. And that was when I discovered all this attention from random guys and I thought "so is this what women were always talking about?" It would happen several times a week and I thought "imagine if this went on all day long or on a daily basis, it gets old." So yes I can see why women would fuss. Should I change what I wear when I go for a run? No. I have even had random men pull over just to talk to me and you know what? I just want to run damn it, not be bothered. I have also had some random men come up to me and start talking to me and I just want to be left alone and run. Yes I will be polite and brush it off and just think "well at least it doesn't happen all the time so I won't let that one incident ruin my run."


Sex workers sleep with married men and destroy families, from reading all that you have just proved to me how delusion you are and that you will defend anything.
Good for her? She is hurting her children by bringing all these men home, half of them married men so just as bad.



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02 Jul 2021, 4:18 pm

Fnord wrote:
Actually, most of the women I have known who liked to "show a little leg" seemed to have more respect for themselves (and more confidence) than most of the women I have known who constantly "dressed down" to conceal their bodies as much as possible (as if they were ashamed of their appearances).


I'm going to call this out too if we are going to get at someone for using the word skank.

Saying that some women dress down is misogynistic too. If that's what they feel comfortable in, so be it. It's their choice.

The point of feminism is that we get to choose what we want to wear, without judgement.

I don't dress up often. Maybe for weddings and special occasions. I think you would judge me if you saw me based on this comment.

I ordered a dress online and got it delivered to my office because it was coming by courier and I didn't want to miss it. I unpacked it at my desk. It was strapless and bright pink. A male co-worker said to me, "I didn't think you would wear something like that."

We aren't typecast by what you see us in.



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02 Jul 2021, 6:17 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
Wouldn't it be fair to say that their is women who dress in more revealing attire for the sole reason to seek attention?



I dont find that comment appropriate for this thread. It's misogynistic and women can wear whatever they want without being harassed.


So i'm wrong? Nobody does that?


Are you seriously telling me that women want to be groped at, bothered, shouted at, whistled at, or even being asked to pose?

Show me where a woman has actually made this claim in saying the dress this way to get all this harassment because I have never seen it.


Their is a woman i know she goes out every weekend on the pull in revealing attire for the sole purpose to get attention and she openly acknowledges that is the reason she dresses that way and their are many others so that was what i meant. So you must know of these people.



Good for her, she isn't hurting anyone so I disagree this makes women look bad. I've seen the same argument used against sex workers as well. Yes while these women may also be consenting and like the attention, that doesn't mean they want to get crude comments in their inbox or try and get men to pick them up and send them creepy messages. I mean there are women out there that do pay for sex services and do pay men to talk dirty to them and stuff but more power to them. Yes I have seen other women speak against these sort of women. Women can also be misogynists too.

I wouldn't be surprised the downvotes and angry comment came from women who hates sex workers or women that like to dress in a way that shows their body because they are not ashamed of their body but that contradicts the repost the OP made. Reason why I hid mine was because I was ashamed and hated how I looked and then I lost enough weight and was feeling good about myself so I decided to start going out in a sports bra or short shorts when I go for a run. And that was when I discovered all this attention from random guys and I thought "so is this what women were always talking about?" It would happen several times a week and I thought "imagine if this went on all day long or on a daily basis, it gets old." So yes I can see why women would fuss. Should I change what I wear when I go for a run? No. I have even had random men pull over just to talk to me and you know what? I just want to run damn it, not be bothered. I have also had some random men come up to me and start talking to me and I just want to be left alone and run. Yes I will be polite and brush it off and just think "well at least it doesn't happen all the time so I won't let that one incident ruin my run."


Sex workers sleep with married men and destroy families, from reading all that you have just proved to me how delusion you are and that you will defend anything.
Good for her? She is hurting her children by bringing all these men home, half of them married men so just as bad.



And you showed me what you think of sex workers, thinking they all sleep with men? You think they all bring home random men? Do you realize there are different sorts of sex workers.

Guess what, I sell my fetish stuff online and my husband is okay with that and I do not bring home men or sleep with anyone but my husband. But good for you for showing me how judgmental you are.

Also lot of sex workers would not being home random men, why? Because it's stupid and unsafe and they don't know who these men are and who they are dealing with. They also would not give out their location or even use their real name. Why? Because they don't want to be harassed or stalked.


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Shadow1888
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02 Jul 2021, 6:38 pm

A sex worker is a sex worker. Their is no excuse to sell yourself. So my point, lack of self respect.
Funny how you ran to the moderators huh? Yet its okay for everyone to group up on me and say i'm this and that but you dont like it. I have only gave my opinion but guess you cant do that here as everyone thinks the same and defends everything.
Also if i'm to get reported again...
Then maybe the moderators can get me up to speed with the last incident i was in and sort that out.



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02 Jul 2021, 6:56 pm

If you think a female sex worker is "trashy" for selling her body, but a male coal miner isn't for selling his, it speaks volumes.


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Shadow1888
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02 Jul 2021, 6:59 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
If you think a female sex worker is "trashy" for selling her body, but a male coal miner isn't for selling his, it speaks volumes.


Coal miners dont sell their body for sex so how does that compare?



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02 Jul 2021, 7:01 pm

Shadow1888 wrote:
A sex worker is a sex worker. Their is no excuse to sell yourself. So my point, lack of self respect.


Paying the bills seems like a reasonable excuse.
Enjoying the work seems like a great excuse.

Not that one needs an excuse for finding work they enjoy (assuming their participation is voluntary).


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02 Jul 2021, 7:03 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Shadow1888 wrote:
A sex worker is a sex worker. Their is no excuse to sell yourself. So my point, lack of self respect.


Paying the bills seems like a reasonable excuse.
Enjoying the work seems like a great excuse.

Not that one needs an excuse for finding work they enjoy (assuming their participation is voluntary).


Right whatever you say pal, having sex for a living is a great life. Seriously.



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02 Jul 2021, 7:04 pm

^ The excuse is whiney misogyny.


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