Which option do you think is best?

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Which option would you chose
Option 1. If girls that you like are not attracted to you in return settle for someone that you are not attracted to 24%  24%  [ 6 ]
Option 2. Accept you will never be with someone you like and remain single for the rest of your life 76%  76%  [ 19 ]
Total votes : 25

Jamesy
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13 Jul 2021, 11:47 am

What choice would you chose?



VegetableMan
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13 Jul 2021, 11:58 am

I went with two. Being with someone you're not attracted to is way more miserable than being alone.


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Fnord
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13 Jul 2021, 12:01 pm

Jamesy wrote:
What choice would you chose?
An option not listed: Adapt to whatever is available.  This is what I did, and it worked for me.


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IsabellaLinton
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13 Jul 2021, 12:01 pm

2



HeroOfHyrule
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13 Jul 2021, 1:24 pm

Apparently I'm the only one that chose 1 so far. I don't see the point in just wallowing and deciding to never get into a relationship because your dating pool got smaller. I assume "attraction" means physical attraction though, since that seems to be all anyone talks about on here, as if nothing else matters...


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IsabellaLinton
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13 Jul 2021, 1:43 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Apparently I'm the only one that chose 1 so far. I don't see the point in just wallowing and deciding to never get into a relationship because your dating pool got smaller. I assume "attraction" means physical attraction though, since that seems to be all anyone talks about on here, as if nothing else matters...


The word "attraction" wasn't important to me.

I voted based on the fact he said "settle for .... " someone.

It's not fair to the other person. I wouldn't want to be someone's last resort.



HeroOfHyrule
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13 Jul 2021, 1:46 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Apparently I'm the only one that chose 1 so far. I don't see the point in just wallowing and deciding to never get into a relationship because your dating pool got smaller. I assume "attraction" means physical attraction though, since that seems to be all anyone talks about on here, as if nothing else matters...


The word "attraction" wasn't important to me.

I voted based on the fact he said "settle for .... " someone.

It's not fair to the other person. I wouldn't want to be someone's last resort.

I think whenever I read "settle for" on here my mind just ignores it, since I've seen people have a ridiculous view of what "settling" is (not having a partner with every physical and personality trait, like/dislike, life goal, etc. that they want).


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I use he/him pronouns.

I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I have two cats, a rabbit, and a dog. I also enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.

Empathy Quotient: 34/80
Systemizing Quotient: 104/150
Friendship Quotient: 56/140
Autism Quotient: 36/80

RAADS-R: 169

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Compensation: 57
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Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 144 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200.
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13 Jul 2021, 3:04 pm

I'd rather be single than settle for someone. Spending my life with someone I wasn't attracted to would just make me miserable.

I'd go for the not listed option 3 though, not give up but keep trying. There are more fish in the sea than one attractive woman who blows me off and those I don't fancy


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CockneyRebel
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14 Jul 2021, 6:32 pm

I'd choose #2 because looks aren't everything.


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nick007
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18 Jul 2021, 6:18 am

I would def chose the 1st option. I'm sort of demisexual & I do NOT care about physical attraction the way most guys do. I do NOT get the love at 1st sight thing people talk about. I care about qualities that can take time to show & develop like being a decent respectable person, being compassionate, caring about animals & plant life, being reliable, being trustworthy, being supportive & going the extra mile to help out a friend or family member going through a rough time, being sweet & sensitive, being affectionate with romantic partners, being funny & making me laugh. I majorly HATED being single & I was extremely lonely. I was single for 8 years straight between my 1st & 2nd relationship without so much as a single date despite my best efforts. I really believed that I coulda made a relationship work with most anyone if she woulda been willing to give me a real chance. I know I am very far from perfect but I also know that I have lots of good qualities as well but extremely few women were willing to give me the chance & time that I needed in order for my good qualities to shine. It's only fair that I woulda been willing to give somebody the shot I wanted someone to give me. I know it may seem like settling at 1st but I do not think of it as settling because I woulda fallen for her after a bit if she treated me with decency & respect.


HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I think whenever I read "settle for" on here my mind just ignores it, since I've seen people have a ridiculous view of what "settling" is (not having a partner with every physical and personality trait, like/dislike, life goal, etc. that they want).
I notice that as well & what's really ironic is that the people who complain about settling the most on here are also some of the biggest complainers on here about being single :wall: It's like if they were unemployed & homeless on the street & they were offered lots of jobs & would turn every single one down because it is not their dream job :roll: People often say on here that desperation is a giant turnoff but I think think reeking of self-entitlement is the biggest turnoff of all. Then there's some on here like me who complained VERY OFTEN about being alone but I know that there is NO such thing as a perfect person. Any romantic relationship I would ever get would have some problems. The key is how I deal with them. I am not compromising myself by tackling them together with my girlfriend. Knowing I have someone to support me when there are problems or issues is a huge help. Also sometimes just accepting that there will be some things I dislike & some problems in our relationship can make them a lot easier to handle. Taking time & effort to notice & appreciate all the positives can majorly help me handle the negatives.


IsabellaLinton wrote:
The word "attraction" wasn't important to me.

I voted based on the fact he said "settle for .... " someone.

It's not fair to the other person. I wouldn't want to be someone's last resort.
I would be fine with being someone's last resort. I was VERY desperate when I was single & I really like desperate women. We have something in common & can relate. Besides we would fall for each other after a while anyway so even if we are each other's last resort at 1st, we would become each other's 1st choice after a bit.


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browneyedgirlslowingdown
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18 Jul 2021, 10:36 am

I don't understand. How can you be attracted to appearance only, and one type at that? This seems ridiculous to base your whole life on.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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24 Jul 2021, 5:50 pm

2, despite having been in a relationship with an NT.


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that1weirdgrrrl
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25 Jul 2021, 2:24 pm

browneyedgirlslowingdown wrote:
I don't understand. How can you be attracted to appearance only, and one type at that? This seems ridiculous to base your whole life on.


^^^ this


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25 Jul 2021, 10:52 pm

Other than the fact that I'm a straight female, I'm really not copacetic with the options for me to choose.

Rather I have questions (and probably more depending on the answers). When we say 'attracted' do we mean in general or just physically? How do I know that everyone I like or would like has no attraction to me?_?


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StrayCat81
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26 Jul 2021, 4:17 am

Hmm, as an asexual, I'm attracted to nobody, so have no choice here... I also dislike human personalities, since they are gross... So hermit it is then? :3



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05 Aug 2021, 7:30 am

I went with one because that's what happened with my husband of 30 years. After I got to know him, I started to find things about him that were very attractive to me. Even to today, if any woman would EVER try to take him from me, I will %^&*#@ her face up. I adore him. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: