Subjects and Questions for a first date

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Outsider85
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15 Jul 2021, 9:34 am

I am trying to get back on the dating horse after three years of repairing my heart. I was wondering what is good to talk about on first dates and what kind of questions could I ask the lady on the first date.



Fnord
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15 Jul 2021, 9:52 am

Things you should definitely NOT talk about: Family Background (and childhood abuse/bullying), Marriage, Money, Politics, Religion, Secrets (yours or anyone else's), Sex, Sexual Experiences/Identity, Work/School Drama, or Your Ex (and why you broke up).

Instead, talk about your passions, dreams, and ambitions.  Express only excitement, joy, and optimism when doing so.  Pepper your talk with questions like "How about you?" or "What do you think?" to give your date ample opportunity to respond.

Remember, you are having a conversation, not holding a lecture; a first date is not an opportunity to deliver a soliloquy or an exposition; it is an opportunity to pique your date's interest in you as an intelligent and upbeat person.  If you cannot say one thing in three breaths or less, then you are saying too much about it.


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that1weirdgrrrl
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15 Jul 2021, 2:51 pm

If you can get her talking about her interests, and her life, then you are golden. People love to talk about themselves.

Act happy and interested, and give sufficient answers to her questions. But over all I'd let her direct the conversation.

Good luck!


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Outsider85
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15 Jul 2021, 3:15 pm

I haven’t gotten a date yet. I am reading a book on my kindle. Decoding Dating by John Miller. He hasn’t gone into details about the dos for first date conversation.

Another question I have, when do I reveal that I have Aspergers?



kraftiekortie
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15 Jul 2021, 3:28 pm

Probably sometime after you're engaged, and before you're married.

Like I always say, it's not like you have the Plague, or some other contagious disease. It's nothing one has to "confess" to having.



Outsider85
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15 Jul 2021, 3:54 pm

I think she would have a right to know. I’m thinking fifth or sixth date.



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15 Jul 2021, 4:10 pm

I wouldn't put a "date" on it. I would just tell when you feel intimate enough with her.

As long as you don't act outrageously, I don't feel your lady friend would look at you askance. She might just laugh it off.

I would tell my girlfriends when I felt like telling my girlfriends. If one has AIDS, or something like that-----that's when you have to "tell."