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StrayCat81
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26 Jul 2021, 6:14 am

What kind of love? What do you love about yourself?

If not, what would need to happen for you to love yourself?


I do since I'm my own best friend, I feel safe with myself and I try my best to take care of myself. Maybe it even counts as romantic? I definitely have a lot of warm and cute feels about myself, although I have nothing to compare it to.

Anyway, how about you? :3



AprilR
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26 Jul 2021, 7:14 am

I do love myself. I feel like i parented myself in some way and took care of myself in really desperate times.



StrayCat81
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26 Jul 2021, 7:44 am

AprilR wrote:
I do love myself. I feel like i parented myself in some way and took care of myself in really desperate times.

Exactly! I still do it actually, since I definitely have sensitive, hopeful and kinda naive side to take care of. I do find it fun how my sensitive and logical sides interact with each other, it really looks kinda like child who wants to learn and experience with parent who keeps them (us?) safe... :3

How about you, do you still have sensitive side to take care of? Or have you become proper adult, no more silly feelings, only cold calculated actions in order to gain fame, riches and 'sexy mates'? :3



AprilR
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26 Jul 2021, 8:07 am

Lmao no, i try hard to seem cold and calculated on the outside but i am not sure how much i succeed lol.

I definitely feel very naive and innocent and also very sensitive but i try to hide those sides of me especially around men. I am way too scared of abusers and stalkers especially since violence against women is very common where i live. I am def. very protective of myself and trust very few people. Around others i try to keep a low profile and not attract much attention.



Sweetleaf
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26 Jul 2021, 11:03 am

No, I would not go as far as saying I love myself...

But I guess I am getting more comfortable with myself, and finally at the age of 31 have developed a small amount of self worth even.

Not sure what would need to happen for me to say I love myself. Either way my current state of being sure as hell beats being consumed by depression and anxiety all the time, so I'll take it even if its not perfect.


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Joe90
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26 Jul 2021, 11:58 am

No I do not love myself. I've done too many stupid, embarrassing things in the past and also my outbursts made me say bad things to the people I love the most. Also it's easier to hate yourself when your condition is in your brain rather than anywhere else in your body, because your brain determines your behaviour and intellect and everything like that, and you need the right behaviours and intellect to get by in this world as a human.


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Edna3362
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26 Jul 2021, 4:32 pm

A part of me always unconditionally will be.
It is a part of me that is bigger than myself and everything that I ever known.

And a part of me is ever conditional about it. It is a part of me who is in constant vigilance and in self-preservation.
This is a part that most people are more familiar with.



It is easy to ask how much or if do you love yourselves.
The other question is; how forgiving are you to yourself? Or if can you?


Because... Peace by itself is easy.
Healing that leads to peace is harder than hard or just super tricky. :lol:



Short answer?
"Why not?" :P


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StrayCat81
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26 Jul 2021, 4:42 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
The other question is; how forgiving are you to yourself? Or if can you?

Hmm, any examples? I sometimes do things that I don't like in the retrospect, so I just try to not do them again. I still like myself despite making mistakes. Is it that, or something else?



HeroOfHyrule
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26 Jul 2021, 4:44 pm

I tolerate myself, I guess. I don't hate myself, but I don't "love" myself. I'm just another glorified chimp that's trying to get through life, so I have no reason to love or hate myself. lol


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dragonsanddemons
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26 Jul 2021, 6:28 pm

I neither love nor hate myself, if I separate present-me from past-me (who at best I am ashamed of). I accept myself, no more and no less. The things I really hate about myself are mostly things that are separate from my core being (such as severe social anxiety). And I hate the effects of things about me that don’t mesh well with others (such as it not even occurring to me that I should try to get in touch with someone until it’s been over a month without any sort of contact, because I do not inherently seek direct social interaction, but giving the impression that I don’t care or something), but I do not hate, say, the fact that I am not a social creature by nature.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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27 Jul 2021, 9:03 am

"there's a thin line between love and hate"

Something that is good in one situation could be bad in a different situation

For example, many job descriptions specify "outgoing and enthusiastic". However, ( outgoing and enthusiastic precious lil "people" are the bane of my existence)

You can't separate ( nature versus nurture )


I am not that great in any way


However, plenty of precious lil "people" so full of themselves, you would think they hung the moon


Nobody is perfect, but some precious lil "people" sure act like they are perfect


They act so passionate, like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention


They act like they are doing you a favor with their jokes, but their jokes not that funny


They act like every time they are not happy, someone must've violated their stupidass "rights"


They ask "why" like everything has to be justified to their satisfaction

Kayla b***h

Rolando penis

Front End Supervisor

Antakia

Numerous other idiots



ToughDiamond
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27 Jul 2021, 10:50 am

I suppose emotionally I have a love-hate relationship with myself, though if I were asked to rate myself I'd give my conscious, logical appraisal of myself, which is that I'm neither good nor bad.

Love:
I hate to see myself in pain or distress of any kind, and would do an awful lot to make myself feel better. I spring to my defense if anybody deals me a bad hand or tries to put me down. I admire my talents. I'm usually very quick to forgive myself when I make mistakes, and I can always see the mitigating circumstances.

Hate:
Maybe hate is too strong a word. I'm often filled with disdain for myself when I'm poor at sticking to what I've decided to to. I decide to get more exercise but I just sit here procrastinating. I'm such a weakling about these things.

Probably the biggest thing that I can't quite get over is that I feel I let my son down by letting my relationship with his mother collapse. I know she had some horrible flaws that may have made it impossible for me to hold the relationship together, but I had everything I needed to work that out before we had a child. He described our break-up as the worst thing he'd ever had to cope with in his life. And although he later described me as the only adult who cared about what he wanted, I'm still filled with self-loathing about certain times when I cared more about my own stuff than about giving him the company he wanted. There's no doubt I did a lot for him, but I could have done more.

I also have a strong dislike of myself for not being demonstrative enough with the people I'm close to. I often forget to do those little touches of fond affection that would mean a lot to them. I can come over as strangely aloof and uncaring. My practical, lukewarm behaviour gives a wooden quality to my close relationships which nobody deserves. The really weird thing is that when we first meet I find it easy to be warm to them, but as time goes by I become colder. It must seem like bait-and-switch. I never mean it that way.

Then there was my first marriage when I messed up my wife's life and put her through huge emotional pain by suddenly falling out of love with her and leaving. We owned two kittens, and they lost me too. One of them went missing after I'd left, and she told me he'd probably got lost while looking for me because he missed me.

I shut my father out of my life. I wrote back to him when he wrote to me, and visited him sometimes, but only rarely, and resisted the closeness he wanted to have with me. It was blindingly obvious he was very lonely and wanted that closeness back, but somehow I couldn't, or wouldn't, give it.



theidealist
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27 Jul 2021, 10:56 am

Love is sort of overstatement. I'm still learning and obtaining the ability to have positive self-talk and compassion towards myself when the going gets hard. Being really critical and blaming myself was always my trait.

But I'm making progress (partly because of my antidepressants). Since I have my diagnosis, I feel more comfortable. Without that weird impression that I'm wrong and just don't fit.

Hopefully I can find out how to love myself but that's a long way.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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27 Jul 2021, 5:18 pm

Such feelings I have about myself fluctuate on a daily basis.


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IsabellaLinton
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27 Jul 2021, 5:24 pm

From Desiderata:

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

I respect myself about as much as I respect other people. I have the advantage of knowing myself a little better than I know other people, and I know my reasons for doing things that others wouldn't understand. In that regard we all have an edge to liking / hating ourselves more than other people. The quote above reminds me that we're all equal, and no better or worse than any other human on this planet.



StrayCat81
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27 Jul 2021, 7:51 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
The quote above reminds me that we're all equal, and no better or worse than any other human on this planet.

Hmm, sentences like this light up my detector of privileged people. Was I right? Are you well off?

Just taking my chance to calibrate it better I guess :3