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Crystal1414
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28 Jul 2021, 8:14 am

I have not taken my medication for a week. I have not felt this good for a long time.

I think my medication was blocking parts of my brain that make me have spiritual experiences. I have been having a spiritual experience for a week now. Its more intense than my last one. It feels like a whole body high. Nobody in my family understands though. They talk about me behind my back and sigh when I tell them my experiences. I have heard them talking about me. They talk about how they are concerned about me. My mood is fluctuating a lot and I wake up at least 3 times a night. I feel great though.

Im drinking a lot of water and I feel healthy. I drink 7 glasses a day. My family doesn't care about that though. They want me to take my mind numbing medication. It makes me feel the same thing and It gets rid of my euphoria. It makes me feel weird.

I dont understand why they want me to take it. I just can't take it right now.



diagnosedafter50
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28 Jul 2021, 5:08 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
I have not taken my medication for a week. I have not felt this good for a long time.

I think my medication was blocking parts of my brain that make me have spiritual experiences. I have been having a spiritual experience for a week now. Its more intense than my last one. It feels like a whole body high. Nobody in my family understands though. They talk about me behind my back and sigh when I tell them my experiences. I have heard them talking about me. They talk about how they are concerned about me. My mood is fluctuating a lot and I wake up at least 3 times a night. I feel great though.

Im drinking a lot of water and I feel healthy. I drink 7 glasses a day. My family doesn't care about that though. They want me to take my mind numbing medication. It makes me feel the same thing and It gets rid of my euphoria. It makes me feel weird.

I dont understand why they want me to take it. I just can't take it right now.

May I ask some questions, you don't have to answer if you feel they are too personal.
What are you diagnosed with?
What meds are you on?

I am BPD, I don't agree with psych meds, they do numb the mind but coming off them cold turkey can be harmful, my friend had psychotic episodes when she stopped them.

Nothing wrong with the spiritual so long as you are rooted to the earth as well as to the cosmos.



QFT
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28 Jul 2021, 5:12 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
I have not taken my medication for a week. I have not felt this good for a long time.

I think my medication was blocking parts of my brain that make me have spiritual experiences. I have been having a spiritual experience for a week now. Its more intense than my last one. It feels like a whole body high. Nobody in my family understands though. They talk about me behind my back and sigh when I tell them my experiences. I have heard them talking about me. They talk about how they are concerned about me. My mood is fluctuating a lot and I wake up at least 3 times a night. I feel great though.

Im drinking a lot of water and I feel healthy. I drink 7 glasses a day. My family doesn't care about that though. They want me to take my mind numbing medication. It makes me feel the same thing and It gets rid of my euphoria. It makes me feel weird.

I dont understand why they want me to take it. I just can't take it right now.


I completely agree with you. You should stay off the meds completely!

Actually, mind-numbing is not a "side effect", but rather its the very purpose of meds. Basically people think that whatever they don't understand is "bad". So if they don't understand you, they want to numb you in order to get rid of whatever it is they don't understand. And thats why they force people to take psychiatric meds.

You should resist them and avoid the meds by all means possible.


 ! Cornflake wrote:
A note to readers - never stop taking medication without first consulting your doctor.
Apart from the unpleasant effects likely when abruptly stopping (common with many drugs) you would be interrupting a course of treatment.

If you think that medication is having bad affects, talk to your doctor about it.



Crystal1414
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28 Jul 2021, 5:41 pm

diagnosedafter50 wrote:
Crystal1414 wrote:
I have not taken my medication for a week. I have not felt this good for a long time.

I think my medication was blocking parts of my brain that make me have spiritual experiences. I have been having a spiritual experience for a week now. Its more intense than my last one. It feels like a whole body high. Nobody in my family understands though. They talk about me behind my back and sigh when I tell them my experiences. I have heard them talking about me. They talk about how they are concerned about me. My mood is fluctuating a lot and I wake up at least 3 times a night. I feel great though.

Im drinking a lot of water and I feel healthy. I drink 7 glasses a day. My family doesn't care about that though. They want me to take my mind numbing medication. It makes me feel the same thing and It gets rid of my euphoria. It makes me feel weird.

I dont understand why they want me to take it. I just can't take it right now.

May I ask some questions, you don't have to answer if you feel they are too personal.
What are you diagnosed with?
What meds are you on?

I am BPD, I don't agree with psych meds, they do numb the mind but coming off them cold turkey can be harmful, my friend had psychotic episodes when she stopped them.

Nothing wrong with the spiritual so long as you are rooted to the earth as well as to the cosmos.



I am diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Im on Abilify. I hate it so much. Taking it causes me to feel anxious. I just quit because I couldn't bring myself to swallow the pill. Now I feel no desire to take it at all. I have been feeling great since quitting. I keep flushing them down the toilet.



diagnosedafter50
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28 Jul 2021, 6:28 pm

QFT wrote:
Crystal1414 wrote:
I have not taken my medication for a week. I have not felt this good for a long time.

I think my medication was blocking parts of my brain that make me have spiritual experiences. I have been having a spiritual experience for a week now. Its more intense than my last one. It feels like a whole body high. Nobody in my family understands though. They talk about me behind my back and sigh when I tell them my experiences. I have heard them talking about me. They talk about how they are concerned about me. My mood is fluctuating a lot and I wake up at least 3 times a night. I feel great though.

Im drinking a lot of water and I feel healthy. I drink 7 glasses a day. My family doesn't care about that though. They want me to take my mind numbing medication. It makes me feel the same thing and It gets rid of my euphoria. It makes me feel weird.

I dont understand why they want me to take it. I just can't take it right now.


I completely agree with you. You should stay off the meds completely!

Actually, mind-numbing is not a "side effect", but rather its the very purpose of meds. Basically people think that whatever they don't understand is "bad". So if they don't understand you, they want to numb you in order to get rid of whatever it is they don't understand. And thats why they force people to take psychiatric meds.

You should resist them and avoid the meds by all means possible.

While I disagree with psych meds, it's bad advice to suggest cold turkying, best wean off them very slowly, get the brain used to normality gradually, I've weaned off psych meds.



diagnosedafter50
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28 Jul 2021, 6:34 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
diagnosedafter50 wrote:
Crystal1414 wrote:
I have not taken my medication for a week. I have not felt this good for a long time.

I think my medication was blocking parts of my brain that make me have spiritual experiences. I have been having a spiritual experience for a week now. Its more intense than my last one. It feels like a whole body high. Nobody in my family understands though. They talk about me behind my back and sigh when I tell them my experiences. I have heard them talking about me. They talk about how they are concerned about me. My mood is fluctuating a lot and I wake up at least 3 times a night. I feel great though.

Im drinking a lot of water and I feel healthy. I drink 7 glasses a day. My family doesn't care about that though. They want me to take my mind numbing medication. It makes me feel the same thing and It gets rid of my euphoria. It makes me feel weird.

I dont understand why they want me to take it. I just can't take it right now.

May I ask some questions, you don't have to answer if you feel they are too personal.
What are you diagnosed with?
What meds are you on?

I am BPD, I don't agree with psych meds, they do numb the mind but coming off them cold turkey can be harmful, my friend had psychotic episodes when she stopped them.

Nothing wrong with the spiritual so long as you are rooted to the earth as well as to the cosmos.



I am diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Im on Abilify. I hate it so much. Taking it causes me to feel anxious. I just quit because I couldn't bring myself to swallow the pill. Now I feel no desire to take it at all. I have been feeling great since quitting. I keep flushing them down the toilet.

Schizophrenics are vulnerable to malevolent entities in the infinite spiritual realm outside of this narrow bandwidth we call reality.
They can pose as benevolent.
Psychics can, at will, enter these realms and come out at will, with the ability to ward off malevolent entities, schizophrenics are thrown or have no control when they enter these realms, not doing you down, you have a gift, but it must be carefully cultivated under the tutelage of an experienced sage/seer/shaman.
These entities are tricksters and can enter our electromagnetic field without our consent.
I'm not schizophrenic but my electromagnetic field has been breached and when experimenting with psychedelics entities entered my field without my consent.
Feel free to ask me anything you like, I am no spiritual teacher, I am a seeker, but please don't suddenly come off ablify, wean off it super slowly.
There is a great site called survivingantidepressants.org that helps people come off psych meds safely, it helped me off quetiapine prescribed for anxiety, ineffective and trazodone.
My psychiatrist is helping me off valium which I started illicitly, unwisely to deal with stress, another poison.



kaiouti12
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02 Aug 2021, 2:15 am

Take your meds.

As a schizoaffective, I have been on and off meds for more than ten years!

Each time coming off has eventually led to re-admission to hospital, where all you can do is watch BS tv, eat till your overweight or smoke and mix with people you shouldn't.

Having Mental illness is hard. You think it's as easy as stopping your meds and well you get better? Unfortunately not.

I have noticed that when I stop the medication after about a week or two I have boosted levels of enthusiasm and healthy mindset, then in the following months I get straight into gym and working out for months. But then something hits after about 6 to 8 months (for me at least) and then its like a wall. Not a physical active wall, but a mental psychological one. Part of the reason I was sick in the first place.

Yes after some days or weeks of stopping meds you can get positive effects, but not Before taking meds!

It isn't ideal to take meds, but it is necessary. Being positive or spiritual or whatver good you feel can be like an addiction, you want to FEEL good. But the meds might be leveling you out to feel numb. And this numb feeling is hard to get used to. But it's about you the patient to slow down and make better choices.

The most recent time on meds I am progressively getting better, it's hard to notice because you can feel numb but exercising your mind, body and emotions can get you incrementally better. To many people want snap fixes, well staying on meds long term, has long term benefits. Its not just on the surface the meds are working on, it's also the deep chemical reactions, getting meds right for you can alleviate stress and self catastrophizing. One of the main things I've noticed with my latest meds is that it has helped my mood and irritability (can get better if your angry at everything and possibly acting out on it)...my mood helps me fight off negative thought. I still have voices but working WITH the meds I have made them quieten down and calm down (Olazapine aka Lanzek I think it was) And with my mood, which took a while to bolster but now I can do physical exercise (even when I don't "want" to)

It's been 2 years since last admission, I'm still in recovery, for what that's worth, but without the medication helping me get here I would be in a frightening world. I was non verbal, I was scared of dying and living and I didn't have anything to clutch onto to hope with or for. Meds helped me out of that place. It is what it is. No amount of denial is going to change that I'm a patient who needed help. I still struggle but so what. I'd rather be here and now, on meds than the alternative, some fantasy land that doesn't exist.



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02 Aug 2021, 7:09 am

kaiouti12 wrote:
I have noticed that when I stop the medication after about a week or two I have boosted levels of enthusiasm and healthy mindset, then in the following months I get straight into gym and working out for months. But then something hits after about 6 to 8 months (for me at least) and then its like a wall. Not a physical active wall, but a mental psychological one. Part of the reason I was sick in the first place.


That’s the exact opposite to what I used to think of psychiatric meds (although I never been on meds myself). The goal of meds is short-term, so that the person doesn’t make any bad decisions like commit suicide (depression) spend all their savings (mania) or kill someone because their voices told them to do it (schizophrenia). On the other hand, long term effects of those meds are all negative: meds cause deterioration of IQ over time and so forth. So if you can function fine without meds for months, then there is no reason in the world for you to take them. They do not offer any long term benefits what so ever. Unless you view hindering your performance as a “benefit”. If you are concerned about some bad decisions that take place on the scale of months rather than minutes or even hours, then you have plenty of time to sit down and think them through, without the need of meds.



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02 Aug 2021, 9:54 am

If you feel like your meds numb your mind too much, try a compromise: talk to your doctor about trying some different meds. Maybe you'll find something that won't have the unpleasant side effect, but will bring whatever result it is that you need meds for in the first place.



magz
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02 Aug 2021, 1:01 pm

Try different meds. And maybe a different doctor.
I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and mismedicated for it. It made me numb and vulnerable but still horribly suffering - but my doc was so set up on it that when I reported drugs not helping, he prescribed more of them 8O
I had to talk to another doctor about my concerns and, when my depression and insomnia were adressed, I started functioning again. The schizophrenia diagnosis turned out completely wrong and with the help of the other doctor, different meds and a good therapist, I'm with you now.

What you describe seems a bit manic. Did you have depressive episodes, too? What psychotic symptoms do you have?

Anyway, even if in your case the diagnosis is right, maybe different meds would suit you better. It's a very individual thing.


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Crystal1414
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02 Aug 2021, 6:50 pm

magz wrote:
Try different meds. And maybe a different doctor.
I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and mismedicated for it. It made me numb and vulnerable but still horribly suffering - but my doc was so set up on it that when I reported drugs not helping, he prescribed more of them 8O
I had to talk to another doctor about my concerns and, when my depression and insomnia were adressed, I started functioning again. The schizophrenia diagnosis turned out completely wrong and with the help of the other doctor, different meds and a good therapist, I'm with you now.

What you describe seems a bit manic. Did you have depressive episodes, too? What psychotic symptoms do you have?

Anyway, even if in your case the diagnosis is right, maybe different meds would suit you better. It's a very individual thing.


I might ask for new meds. I feel really weird about medication though. That would suck to be misdiagnosed. I am glad that you started functioning again.

I guess it could be manic behaviour. I have a lot of depression. Im not feeling it now though. Im not feeling too good to be honest. My psychotic symptoms are severe paranoia that makes me really angry. I can't manage it sometimes. Its always a cycle of religious experiences, depression and then paranoia coursing through everything. I feel paranoia a lot. Its a part of me. I only call it paranoia because other people believe that I am paranoid. I actually hate that word. I feel like it dismisses what I feel.



kaiouti12
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02 Aug 2021, 7:49 pm

QFT wrote:
meds cause deterioration of IQ over time and so forth. So if you can function fine without meds for months, then there is no reason in the world for you to take them. They do not offer any long term benefits what so ever. Unless you view hindering your performance as a “benefit”. If you are concerned about some bad decisions that take place on the scale of months rather than minutes or even hours, then you have plenty of time to sit down and think them through, without the need of meds.


Not true. Whats the big deal with IQ anyways? I mean their has been studies on the most intelligent people getting depression and even worse than that. I think people make too much of a big deal about being the smartest, strongest etc; because with a great strength, comes a great weakness, an archilles heel if you will.

I used to think that being smart was a good thing but all it gave me was insight into how things were, but gave me no ability to change or stop bad things from happening. No one gave me creedence or bothered/cared to listen to me because "I was the smartest" (without evidence) so that leads to a kind of despair. You know?

I come to the conclusion that I don't need to be ultra smart, or hyper intelligent either. My illness causes instability so "hindering my performance as a 'benefit'" is necessary to keep all bases covered and stop me from going down self destructive paths. It balances me out which I need. Otherwise I'd be bursting with chaotic energy spikes that would throw me through the loop. One more thing, if meds cause deterioration of IQ why then does the IQ come back after ceasing meds? Its still there! It's just hidden, the IQ is dampered so then you can have sight of other important things like other emotions and other processes. It comes back with brain training in time, the brain is a muscle you must exercise.



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02 Aug 2021, 11:24 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
I only call it paranoia because other people believe that I am paranoid. I actually hate that word. I feel like it dismisses what I feel.


You should not let other people define who you are. If they dismiss you, that is their problem, not yours. And it is very likely that what you feel is valid, and NOT paranoia at all.

In John 7:20, Jews pretty much told Jesus he was paranoid, yet He wasn't. Since you have religious experiences, you might be going through the same thing. In Matt 7:13 Jesus said that most will go through wide gate that leads to disraction and only few will go through narrow gate that leads to life. So why would you trust majority's opinion then? Maybe you are one of the few, and you are the one who got it right.

On a more secular realm, geniuses like Galeleo and Einstein were labeled as crazy by their contemporaries, yet they turned out to be right. So if THEY were to go on meds, what a loss to science would that be.

I strongly encourage you to get off meds completely.



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02 Aug 2021, 11:34 pm

kaiouti12 wrote:
QFT wrote:
meds cause deterioration of IQ over time and so forth. So if you can function fine without meds for months, then there is no reason in the world for you to take them. They do not offer any long term benefits what so ever. Unless you view hindering your performance as a “benefit”. If you are concerned about some bad decisions that take place on the scale of months rather than minutes or even hours, then you have plenty of time to sit down and think them through, without the need of meds.


Not true. Whats the big deal with IQ anyways? I mean their has been studies on the most intelligent people getting depression and even worse than that. I think people make too much of a big deal about being the smartest, strongest etc; because with a great strength, comes a great weakness, an archilles heel if you will.

I used to think that being smart was a good thing but all it gave me was insight into how things were, but gave me no ability to change or stop bad things from happening. No one gave me creedence or bothered/cared to listen to me because "I was the smartest" (without evidence) so that leads to a kind of despair. You know?

I come to the conclusion that I don't need to be ultra smart, or hyper intelligent either. My illness causes instability so "hindering my performance as a 'benefit'" is necessary to keep all bases covered and stop me from going down self destructive paths. It balances me out which I need. Otherwise I'd be bursting with chaotic energy spikes that would throw me through the loop. One more thing, if meds cause deterioration of IQ why then does the IQ come back after ceasing meds? Its still there! It's just hidden, the IQ is dampered so then you can have sight of other important things like other emotions and other processes. It comes back with brain training in time, the brain is a muscle you must exercise.


So you are pretty much saying that being super-intelligent is useless because other people don't appreciate it? I strongly disagree with it. Other people didn't appreciate Galileo and Einstein. Yet look at how much they ended up appreciating them afterwords. Same goes for countless writers and poets, at least the Soviet ones: there is even a saying "Soviet Union loves the dead". Just think of what a huge loss would it be if all those people were to say that their intelligence is useless since people around them don't appreciate them and go on meds? What a huge loss to science and to art that would be!

Now, what should you do with your intelligence? The same thing they did. Develop a career in either science or art, start publishing your science/art. That will give your life some purpose and direction. As a side note, I don't understand how most people can go through their same routine day in and day out for years without one of those careers -- with or without meds. I realize its a different topic, but I guess they are related. If all you want in life is just make enough money to put a bread on the table, then I agree with you, you don't really need to be super intelligent for that. But then the life loses its purpose. But if you decide to add a purpose to life by making more meaningful career, then yes you very much will need an intelligence.

I realize you might not be quite ready for it. But why not leave this option for the future? What if 10 years from now you will start to see things differently and realize you do want to make one of those creative careers after all? And then you will regret that your brain will be damaged by all those meds. So you should stop taking the meds regardless of anything else you do, just to leave those options open.

That plus also the very idea of damaging something looks really bad, to me anyway. I saw just a few days ago one of the neighbors made a really interesting toy-house for his son, and he said that after few weeks he will burn it. I asked why would you want to burn it? And he said he doesn't know what else to do with it. And I said keep it! I don't like the idea of all this effort going to waste! He said he will think about it. I don't know if he said it just to be polite or if he will seriously think about it. But I honestly hope he keeps it. The idea of him burning it is devastating.

Now look at how much worse it is to burn your brain cells. A brain is far more intricate thing, far more elegant than that house. And you are burning it with those meds for nothing. Don't you think its sad if you look at it this way?



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02 Aug 2021, 11:38 pm

Bear in mind here, that some mental health conditions are out to trick you.

My cousin has bipolar. He is fine when he takes his meds, but the problem with being fine is he then thinks he doesn't need them. One or two missed doses and the manic phase starts - "See how much energy you have now! These tablets slow you down! Stop you achieving your true potential! Stop taking them, you are so much better free of medication!". And then the next thing you know he's fantasising about being an international DJ and travelling around the world on his non-existent yacht, and he blows money he doesn't have on fantasy schemes with shady "mates" who know he's vulnerable but are quite happy to rip him off.

And then he gets in trouble with his outrageous behaviour, dodgy mates and bad debts, there's a crisis, and then he's chronically depressed and back on the meds for 3 years until he gets straight. And then it starts all over again.

Be bloody careful as it's quite likely that's what is happening here. "You don't need the medication, it's dulling your perception. Listen to us, don't take the meds, we know more than the Doctors and your family do". Err no, it's a trap, don't fall into it.

And especially don't listen to people who have some sort of ill-thought-out moral stance on medication they've no experience of and have never needed to take.



magz
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03 Aug 2021, 3:26 am

Crystal1414 wrote:
magz wrote:
Try different meds. And maybe a different doctor.
I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and mismedicated for it. It made me numb and vulnerable but still horribly suffering - but my doc was so set up on it that when I reported drugs not helping, he prescribed more of them 8O
I had to talk to another doctor about my concerns and, when my depression and insomnia were adressed, I started functioning again. The schizophrenia diagnosis turned out completely wrong and with the help of the other doctor, different meds and a good therapist, I'm with you now.

What you describe seems a bit manic. Did you have depressive episodes, too? What psychotic symptoms do you have?

Anyway, even if in your case the diagnosis is right, maybe different meds would suit you better. It's a very individual thing.


I might ask for new meds. I feel really weird about medication though. That would suck to be misdiagnosed. I am glad that you started functioning again.

I guess it could be manic behaviour. I have a lot of depression. Im not feeling it now though. Im not feeling too good to be honest. My psychotic symptoms are severe paranoia that makes me really angry. I can't manage it sometimes. Its always a cycle of religious experiences, depression and then paranoia coursing through everything. I feel paranoia a lot. Its a part of me. I only call it paranoia because other people believe that I am paranoid. I actually hate that word. I feel like it dismisses what I feel.

Hmmm, so only other people call it paranoia?
How does this "paranoia" feel to you?

I had my social anxiety - fear of being constantly judged by other people and need to control my body language in public places because of it - misinterpreted for delusions of reference. It became even worse when I started being mismedicated because I could no longer control my body language - and people in public transport were actually staring at me, which caused anxiety... misinterpreted for paranoia and medicated more :/

Maybe you could try some mood stabilizers like lithium? Cycles of being high, low and anxious are typical for bipolar. Mood stabilizers slow down this swing and keep it near functioning equilibrium.


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