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browneyedgirlslowingdown
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04 Oct 2021, 9:38 pm

So I am at a new job. I haven't said a word about being Autistic to a soul. There is someone though in the same position with decades of experience over me that is openly Autistic. I want to reach out to him and talk to him about career advice, how he copes at our workplace, and so on and so forth. Is this a bad idea?

Thoughts?


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Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
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Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
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CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


badRobot
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05 Oct 2021, 5:34 am

I would try to learn by observation and approach later. When people doing something right asked to share their secret of success, they often would tell you subjective story, what they feel is important, but often dismiss factors that actually made them successful.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
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05 Oct 2021, 3:26 pm

badRobot wrote:
I would try to learn by observation and approach later. When people doing something right asked to share their secret of success, they often would tell you subjective story, what they feel is important, but often dismiss factors that actually made them successful.


I can't directly observe him, our work is independent we only come together for monthly meetings. I sent him an email yesterday and he replied that he would love to chat. ...should I back out? I don't want to.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


Fnord
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05 Oct 2021, 4:01 pm

browneyedgirlslowingdown wrote:
badRobot wrote:
I would try to learn by observation and approach later. When people doing something right asked to share their secret of success, they often would tell you subjective story, what they feel is important, but often dismiss factors that actually made them successful.
I can't directly observe him, our work is independent we only come together for monthly meetings. I sent him an email yesterday and he replied that he would love to chat. ...should I back out? I don't want to.
Backing out now would reflect badly upon you.  Prepare a few simple questions and be ready to ask them instead.



badRobot
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05 Oct 2021, 4:05 pm

browneyedgirlslowingdown wrote:
badRobot wrote:
I would try to learn by observation and approach later. When people doing something right asked to share their secret of success, they often would tell you subjective story, what they feel is important, but often dismiss factors that actually made them successful.


I can't directly observe him, our work is independent we only come together for monthly meetings. I sent him an email yesterday and he replied that he would love to chat. ...should I back out? I don't want to.


No reason to back out, but don't aggressively pick his brain when talking about coping and stuff. Every time you are talking about this stuff is like a small therapy session. His secret might be being oblivious about some of his "challenges".



badRobot
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05 Oct 2021, 4:08 pm

There is an old joke about a student giving his professor insomnia by asking which side does he fold his beard when he sleeps. It's a funny exaggeration, but sometimes something like that might actually happen.



mohsart
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05 Oct 2021, 4:53 pm

I believe that joke was reused by Herge when someone asked Captain Haddock if he slept with his beard above or below the blanket.

/Mats


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mohsart
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05 Oct 2021, 5:05 pm

Image

/Mats


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badRobot
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05 Oct 2021, 5:08 pm

Hehe, yeah, this joke is one of those tropes often used if different forms.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
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05 Oct 2021, 8:31 pm

I just had a couple of questions for him, not too invasive. At least I think, shall I post them here? To see if they are terrible or not? We are meeting in a couple of days.


Also, I adore Tin Tin.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


browneyedgirlslowingdown
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05 Oct 2021, 8:32 pm

Fnord wrote:
browneyedgirlslowingdown wrote:
badRobot wrote:
I would try to learn by observation and approach later. When people doing something right asked to share their secret of success, they often would tell you subjective story, what they feel is important, but often dismiss factors that actually made them successful.
I can't directly observe him, our work is independent we only come together for monthly meetings. I sent him an email yesterday and he replied that he would love to chat. ...should I back out? I don't want to.
Backing out now would reflect badly upon you.  Prepare a few simple questions and be ready to ask them instead.


I agree.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


kraftiekortie
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06 Oct 2021, 8:45 am

Is he actually very "open" about his autism?

If he is, then I really see nothing wrong with you asking the questions.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
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09 Oct 2021, 1:50 am

He was incredibly open to everyone about his ASD offering himself up to talk or offer advice about working with and supporting folks on the spectrum. We met, we talked, it was nice.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52