The response I am gonna give whenever I am asked....

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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Oct 2021, 4:53 am

The response I am gonna give whenever I am asked why not married yet from now one. And it's the absolute non-PC brutal response truth.

The response would be:
"Well, because I am generally unattractive to most, I failed to attract enough potentials, so I simply failed to make it happen; and that's ok; it's ok to admit of failing in some area in life and to live with it".

I expect their reaction to that would be something "But but...bla bla bla <some lecture about how to be confident> ".

I would explain further: "It happens all the time everywhere, in humans, in animals, in nature, for example plain colored male birds or bad singer birds for example often fail to attract a mate, because they don't have the required set of characteristics/skills to make it happen, they're not a mate material - some humans are like that too, I am in the same status of those and that's ok and I am totally ok about this reality, I hold no grudge against anyone."

What do you think? I mean I am sick of giving cliché responses like "Didn't find the right person yet" or "still seeking for Mrs. Right". Like come on, such white lies are believable when you're in 20s or early 30s; they are no longer believable once you are in 40s. After a certain age, It becomes apparent that the main reason is the single person in question him/herself so why denying.

That response would shock the recipient(s) as It would not be expected, but it will shut them up for good regarding this topic, it would be a closed case.


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timf
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11 Oct 2021, 7:12 am

I didn't get married until I was 43. For me, the problem was being able to see that of the gals that would have been interested in me, I knew I would not be able to live with most of them. I always thought it was better to live alone than with a mistake. I am thankful I took my time and found someone with a good heart and compassion who never made me regret my choice.

You may not want to shut off inquires from your friends as they could be sources for contacts. For example, you might respond, "If you know of anyone whose heart is so big as to be able to be interested in me, let me know".



GadgetGuru
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11 Oct 2021, 7:29 am

Is marriage necessarily the "End all and be all?". Or are any and all relationships, no matter how they go, a part of life experience, and valuable in their individual ways?

It seems that even NT people are rapidly moving away from the idea that being married is a necessary component of a complete and happy life, so why should we get fixated on an idea that seems to be dissolving in the general population, as well? That said, it seems to me that marriage is best when it's a very personal interpretation of what it means, and doesn't necessarily need to be "legal", IE sanctioned by "God and Government", or even permanent. A high level of commitment to a relationship, even a relationship that is knowingly or unknowingly restricted in scope by the cognitive abilities of the people involved, can be defined as a marriage, IMHO.

But if the word marriage and the oft-accompanying narrow definition of that word is used mainly as a goal in life that MUST be achieved, but may or may not be possible for a given individual, it should be dispensed with!



magz
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11 Oct 2021, 8:23 am

I guess responses like "I don't want to get married" or "it's not high enough on my priority list" wouldn't be accepted by the people in question?


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11 Oct 2021, 8:25 am

magz wrote:
I guess the response "I don't want to get married" wouldn't be accepted by the people in question?


I suspect that that answer only draws MORE questions, much like "I don't want children" will often do.


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magz
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11 Oct 2021, 8:25 am

GadgetGuru wrote:
magz wrote:
I guess the response "I don't want to get married" wouldn't be accepted by the people in question?


I suspect that that answer only draws MORE questions, much like "I don't want children" will often do.

True :/


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Fnord
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11 Oct 2021, 8:27 am

When my answer was "Because I have not yet met the right woman" people started introducing me to their female friends and relatives.



kraftiekortie
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11 Oct 2021, 8:42 am

You can't be serious!

I would NEVER respond that way.

I would say "I've haven't met the 'right one' as of yet." That's it.

Nothing about "failure"----because I'm not a failure.



magz
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11 Oct 2021, 8:46 am

"The right woman" is not some romantic myth or white lie - it's someone attracted to you, attractive to you and compatibile enough for life together.
It's entirely possible you haven't met such a person so far - it's also entirely possible you do some day. Not a princess from a fairy tale. A woman with whom the idea of life together seems a nice idea.


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GadgetGuru
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11 Oct 2021, 8:50 am

magz wrote:
"The right woman" is .... someone attracted to you, attractive to you and compatible enough for life together.


This seems like a VERY sensible definition of a good relationship, stripped down to the essentials, and devoid of fluffery.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Oct 2021, 10:37 am

Fnord wrote:
When my answer was "Because I have not yet met the right woman" people started introducing me to their female friends and relatives.


Which I don’t want that to happen.


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funeralxempire
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11 Oct 2021, 10:39 am

Fnord wrote:
When my answer was "Because I have not yet met the right woman" people started introducing me to their female friends and relatives.


That's much kinder than well, have you considered a pet?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Oct 2021, 10:41 am

GadgetGuru wrote:
magz wrote:
I guess the response "I don't want to get married" wouldn't be accepted by the people in question?


I suspect that that answer only draws MORE questions, much like "I don't want children" will often do.


Oh I got that too.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Oct 2021, 10:42 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
When my answer was "Because I have not yet met the right woman" people started introducing me to their female friends and relatives.


That's much kinder than well, have you considered a pet?



Yes I have considered you as my pet. ;)


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funeralxempire
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11 Oct 2021, 11:11 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
When my answer was "Because I have not yet met the right woman" people started introducing me to their female friends and relatives.


That's much kinder than well, have you considered a pet?



Yes I have considered you as my pet. ;)


Last I checked I'm a mangy stray, so I expect a bath. Extra attention to the dirty bits. :mrgreen:


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magz
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11 Oct 2021, 11:17 am

funeralxempire wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
When my answer was "Because I have not yet met the right woman" people started introducing me to their female friends and relatives.

That's much kinder than well, have you considered a pet?

Yes I have considered you as my pet. ;)

Last I checked I'm a mangy stray, so I expect a bath. Extra attention to the dirty bits. :mrgreen:

Apply anti-mite meds pre-emptively. And, of course, watch out for fleas!


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