Is it okay if I not tell my parents that I was assaulted?

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MSBKyle
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11 Oct 2021, 11:54 pm

The other night, this drunk guy started assaulting me out of nowhere. I usually go to my city's downtown with a camera where all the bars are and film or photograph something interesting. This drunk guy told me to take a video of his friend who was leaning over a trash can throwing up. At first, these drunk guys were having fun with the video. Then all of a sudden, the drunk guy who told me to film asked me who I worked for and I tried telling him that I don't work for anybody, but he didn't believe me. He then started following me as I was walking away and put his hands on me. He squeezed my shoulder so tight that it hurt and I couldn't get away.

I am 6 feet and skinny and this guy was probably about 6'6 and muscular. His other friend who was sober and smaller than him and me, tried getting him off of me. The drunk guy then proceeded to put his arm around my neck to the point where I almost couldn't breathe. The friend was trying desperately to remove this guy's hands from me, and he eventually did after several struggles. I kept the camera on as this was all playing out for evidence. After I was free, I walked away and followed this drunk guy and his friends from a distance. I then called the cops after I saw the bar that they went into. I showed the cops the video and they went into the bar to look for him and talk to him.

They found him and started talking to him about the situation while I had to write a victim statement. I ended up pressing charges against him so he was arrested. When I go to downtown with my camera, I usually have positive experiences. Most people ask me to take a video of them and they have fun with it. Whether you view it as creepy or weird or not, what I do is not illegal. My parents know that I take my camera out with me, and my dad is okay with it, but my mom thinks that I am putting my life at risk when I do things like this. I am 28 years old and an adult, but my parents still treat me like I am a child and that they own me. I understand that I am still their child and that they still have concerns for me, but I do not want them or anyone in my family to know about this incident. I know that I will be scolded and my mom will give me "I told you so" speech.



IsabellaLinton
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12 Oct 2021, 12:14 am

It's your choice to tell them or not, but I'm glad you reported it and pressed charges.

Will you continue to film people? It does seem dangerous.

I think your conscience can guide you more than your parents.


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MSBKyle
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12 Oct 2021, 12:17 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
It's your choice to tell them or not, but I'm glad you reported it and pressed charges.

Will you continue to film people? It does seem dangerous.

I think your conscience can guide you more than your parents.


I don't think I'm going to go downtown for awhile at least. I'm also thinking about getting myself some pepper spray in case I am ever attacked like that again.



nick007
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12 Oct 2021, 12:44 am

That sounds like a very awful experience. Some people can be violate drunks & I'd bet that the drunk guy woulda assaulted somebody sooner or later regardless of if they were recording a vid of him or not. I think you did really good by watching what bar he went in & calling the police. He might woulda gotten into a fight there or tried to commit a rape or something. You might of made a bouncer's job a lot easier that night.

I do understand why you do not want to tell your parents. I'm sure your parents majorly love you & care about you & mean well but the whole "I told you so" argument is NOT helpful rite now. It is good to try & be cautious to protect yourself from bad situations but scolding you for something that is legal & is only dangerous because some other people are f#cked-up in the head is a very slippery slope towards victim blaming. What's most important of corse is that you are OK. Is your shoulder or any other body part sore since then :?: If so I would recommend seeing a doc to be safe. Also there may be some residual negative mental effects that you may not even realize rite now. I would recommend trying to avoid drunks for a while. I would also suggest going with a friend next time if having a decent friend tag along would be an option.


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IsabellaLinton
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12 Oct 2021, 12:56 am

MSBKyle wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
It's your choice to tell them or not, but I'm glad you reported it and pressed charges.

Will you continue to film people? It does seem dangerous.

I think your conscience can guide you more than your parents.


I don't think I'm going to go downtown for awhile at least. I'm also thinking about getting myself some pepper spray in case I am ever attacked like that again.


I'm glad to hear that. It's a proactive decision.

I was sexually assaulted in my first month at Uni. I didn't report to the school or to my parents, because I thought the school would blame me for having a male friend, and my parents would make me quit school to stay safe. It didn't occur to me that I was enabling the behaviour by staying silent and not reporting to police. I did go to hospital but I didn't tell them what really happened. In retrospect I wish I could go back in time and deal with the situation properly by charging the SOB who is now a famous Human Rights lawyer (LMAO), and telling the school. I'm not sure if my parents needed to know, though. I agree that when we're adults, there isn't much our parents can do to help us and we need to learn from our mistakes.

I hope you can learn from this situation and be proud of yourself for doing the right thing.


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