I am not allowed to date or talk to women romantically

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Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 1:52 am

My parents dont allow me to date and I am 31.I want to settle down and get married by 40 and its kind of hard to do that when you are not even allowed to talk to women romantically or go on dates.There's not really any way to meet someone in my town except church.And there's not anyone at church so I may never get married.And the parents of women at church may not want their daughter marrying me i drink beer and wine in moderation.I am not allowed to be a member of dating sites and dating apps.It is so frustrating.Ugh.What should I do?My parents are forcing me to be single.



DW_a_mom
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14 Oct 2021, 2:32 am

We went through this pretty much in a previous thread. I know you are frustrated and feel trapped.

I'd like to start with this question: have you talked to them as previously suggested, and what have they said? Have you followed up on any of the ideas for showing them you know how to be responsible?


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naturalplastic
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14 Oct 2021, 2:34 am

Youre over 21 so...they cant tell ya what to do. So go on dating sites if you want.

But also getting involved with church activities also is a good way to network and meet folks as well.

And...WTF is it about your parents anyway? Do they think that they live in a traditional village in India, or in Medeaval Europe where they have arranged marriages? Even if THATS the case then... they should have found you a bride themselves by this time.

Maybe you should ask your mom and day "when are you gonna have a enough goats saved up for barter to buy me a bride?". :lol:



Sweetleaf
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14 Oct 2021, 2:37 am

Well that seems weird, why are you giving them so much control of your life...?

Idk if my mom tried to be that oppressive I probably would have went homeless instead, but at least once I was an adult she realized she couldn't make all my decisions for me. But well part of that is I would not have let her...cant you leave or give ultimatum like how can she actually stop you meeting people? Sorry your mom sounds insane but you should find a way to not be controlled by her...just because she gave birth to you does not mean she owns you.



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 2:54 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
We went through this pretty much in a previous thread. I know you are frustrated and feel trapped.

I'd like to start with this question: have you talked to them as previously suggested, and what have they said? Have you followed up on any of the ideas for showing them you know how to be responsible?

Hi i have talked to them and they think i am not ready for it.I am trying to get a job to be more responsible.I dont want to be trapped for the rest of my life.My dad yells at me all the time and cusses me out a lot.



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 2:59 am

naturalplastic wrote:
Youre over 21 so...they cant tell ya what to do. So go on dating sites if you want.

But also getting involved with church activities also is a good way to network and meet folks as well.

And...WTF is it about your parents anyway? Do they think that they live in a traditional village in India, or in Medeaval Europe where they have arranged marriages? Even if THATS the case then... they should have found you a bride themselves by this time.

Maybe you should ask your mom and day "when are you gonna have a enough goats saved up for barter to buy me a bride?". :lol:

Well there is just not many people at church who are in a similar situation and place in life to me because most of them are married and raising a family or retired.There is not any possibities for me to date.I cant go on dating sites because their name is on the bank account so i would risk jail if I did that.I am afraid I wont want to get married by the time I am finally able to.



magz
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14 Oct 2021, 3:04 am

It's definitely neither normal nor healthy that your parents have so much control over you at this age.
Do whatever you can to get independent and away from them.
Don't try to prove them anything. It's their problem that they don't recognize you as an adult, not yours. You're entirely entitled to your own choices and mistakes.


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14 Oct 2021, 3:05 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Youre over 21 so...they cant tell ya what to do. So go on dating sites if you want.

But also getting involved with church activities also is a good way to network and meet folks as well.

And...WTF is it about your parents anyway? Do they think that they live in a traditional village in India, or in Medeaval Europe where they have arranged marriages? Even if THATS the case then... they should have found you a bride themselves by this time.

Maybe you should ask your mom and day "when are you gonna have a enough goats saved up for barter to buy me a bride?". :lol:

Well there is just not many people at church who are in a similar situation and place in life to me because most of them are married and raising a family or retired.There is not any possibities for me to date.I cant go on dating sites because their name is on the bank account so i would risk jail if I did that.I am afraid I wont want to get married by the time I am finally able to.


uhh it is legal to go on dating sites, how would your parents get you sent to jail for using a dating site? that does not make any sense sorry...



magz
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14 Oct 2021, 3:08 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Youre over 21 so...they cant tell ya what to do. So go on dating sites if you want.

But also getting involved with church activities also is a good way to network and meet folks as well.

And...WTF is it about your parents anyway? Do they think that they live in a traditional village in India, or in Medeaval Europe where they have arranged marriages? Even if THATS the case then... they should have found you a bride themselves by this time.

Maybe you should ask your mom and day "when are you gonna have a enough goats saved up for barter to buy me a bride?". :lol:

Well there is just not many people at church who are in a similar situation and place in life to me because most of them are married and raising a family or retired.There is not any possibities for me to date.I cant go on dating sites because their name is on the bank account so i would risk jail if I did that.I am afraid I wont want to get married by the time I am finally able to.

Don't you have your own bank account? Where would the money you earn go, then?


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cyberdad
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14 Oct 2021, 3:08 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
My parents dont allow me to date and I am 31.I want to settle down and get married by 40 and its kind of hard to do that when you are not even allowed to talk to women romantically or go on dates.There's not really any way to meet someone in my town except church.And there's not anyone at church so I may never get married.And the parents of women at church may not want their daughter marrying me i drink beer and wine in moderation.I am not allowed to be a member of dating sites and dating apps.It is so frustrating.Ugh.What should I do?My parents are forcing me to be single.


Lets start with "why"?



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 3:10 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well that seems weird, why are you giving them so much control of your life...?

Idk if my mom tried to be that oppressive I probably would have went homeless instead, but at least once I was an adult she realized she couldn't make all my decisions for me. But well part of that is I would not have let her...cant you leave or give ultimatum like how can she actually stop you meeting people? Sorry your mom sounds insane but you should find a way to not be controlled by her...just because she gave birth to you does not mean she owns you.

Well I am giving them control because one of the requirements of my church is to be respectful to your parents and if you dont you are worthy of eternal death in Hell.So I dont want to risk that.And also my I would lose everything and be with out food and water and kicked out on the street. i also comply because my parents kicked me out in the middle of the night recently but I dont want to live with my parents anymore but its either be homeless on the streets or be locked up for the rest of my life in a state institution because they refuse to pay for my care and I am currently unable to work.I just hate my what my life has become.I dont know why my mom and dad feel the need to control every aspect and detail of my life.I just want a normal life where i can date and get married but thats just not possible right now or possibly ever.i want to get married after i get a stable job.I have almost lost all hope for a decent future.



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 3:11 am

cyberdad wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
My parents dont allow me to date and I am 31.I want to settle down and get married by 40 and its kind of hard to do that when you are not even allowed to talk to women romantically or go on dates.There's not really any way to meet someone in my town except church.And there's not anyone at church so I may never get married.And the parents of women at church may not want their daughter marrying me i drink beer and wine in moderation.I am not allowed to be a member of dating sites and dating apps.It is so frustrating.Ugh.What should I do?My parents are forcing me to be single.


Lets start with "why"?

they dont think i am ready to date and cant handle it.



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 3:12 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Youre over 21 so...they cant tell ya what to do. So go on dating sites if you want.

But also getting involved with church activities also is a good way to network and meet folks as well.

And...WTF is it about your parents anyway? Do they think that they live in a traditional village in India, or in Medeaval Europe where they have arranged marriages? Even if THATS the case then... they should have found you a bride themselves by this time.

Maybe you should ask your mom and day "when are you gonna have a enough goats saved up for barter to buy me a bride?". :lol:

Well there is just not many people at church who are in a similar situation and place in life to me because most of them are married and raising a family or retired.There is not any possibities for me to date.I cant go on dating sites because their name is on the bank account so i would risk jail if I did that.I am afraid I wont want to get married by the time I am finally able to.


uhh it is legal to go on dating sites, how would your parents get you sent to jail for using a dating site? that does not make any sense sorry...

because i would have to use their banking information on their bank accounts to sign up for a dating site without their permission.



cyberdad
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14 Oct 2021, 3:16 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
My parents dont allow me to date and I am 31.I want to settle down and get married by 40 and its kind of hard to do that when you are not even allowed to talk to women romantically or go on dates.There's not really any way to meet someone in my town except church.And there's not anyone at church so I may never get married.And the parents of women at church may not want their daughter marrying me i drink beer and wine in moderation.I am not allowed to be a member of dating sites and dating apps.It is so frustrating.Ugh.What should I do?My parents are forcing me to be single.


Lets start with "why"?

they dont think i am ready to date and cant handle it.


And what do they think you need to do before you are ready? (apologies for the questions I'm just curious). Parents are funny, Mine wouldn't let me get a date then one day out of the blue they asked me why I'm not married :lol:



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 3:17 am

magz wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Youre over 21 so...they cant tell ya what to do. So go on dating sites if you want.

But also getting involved with church activities also is a good way to network and meet folks as well.

And...WTF is it about your parents anyway? Do they think that they live in a traditional village in India, or in Medeaval Europe where they have arranged marriages? Even if THATS the case then... they should have found you a bride themselves by this time.

Maybe you should ask your mom and day "when are you gonna have a enough goats saved up for barter to buy me a bride?". :lol:

Well there is just not many people at church who are in a similar situation and place in life to me because most of them are married and raising a family or retired.There is not any possibities for me to date.I cant go on dating sites because their name is on the bank account so i would risk jail if I did that.I am afraid I wont want to get married by the time I am finally able to.

Don't you have your own bank account? Where would the money you earn go, then?

My mom is on my bank account because she manages my debit card.I would just have to spend my money as I am required to by the American government as part of a special program for the poor.



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 3:18 am

cyberdad wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
My parents dont allow me to date and I am 31.I want to settle down and get married by 40 and its kind of hard to do that when you are not even allowed to talk to women romantically or go on dates.There's not really any way to meet someone in my town except church.And there's not anyone at church so I may never get married.And the parents of women at church may not want their daughter marrying me i drink beer and wine in moderation.I am not allowed to be a member of dating sites and dating apps.It is so frustrating.Ugh.What should I do?My parents are forcing me to be single.


Lets start with "why"?

they dont think i am ready to date and cant handle it.


And what do they think you need to do before you are ready? (apologies for the questions I'm just curious). Parents are funny, Mine wouldn't let me get a date then one day out of the blue they asked me why I'm not married :lol:

I guess they are too afraid of my feelings getting hurt.