Trying to get to know a girl I am interested in

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MJS7101
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17 Oct 2021, 9:51 pm

Hi guys, I am new here. So recently I managed to get a girl's number who works at my favorite restaurant. I am a 20 year old guy and she is about 18 or 19. She is extremely shy and when I asked her, she literally panicked and ran away. She handed me a slip of paper with her number as I left later that evening. I texted her and we have exchanged a grand total of 5 messages, and she never replied to the last one I sent 2 days ago. Now this is confusing to me because I noted multiple signs of interest. Based on what I have been told about her and what I can perceive, it seems it isn't that she is not interested, but that she has a sort of shell she needs to come out of. I think she is very nervous and anxious about this kind of thing and I don't think she necessarily wants to interact with someone who she doesn't know. She is very unique and I have a feeling that like many of us, myself included, she may have felt alone and different her whole life. She may have even been made fun of and bullied. I just want her to be able to come out of the shell and be comfortable with me, because I think we probably have a lot in common. However, I have no idea how to go about this.

Sorry if this was unclear or poorly worded, it is late at night...



Minervx_2
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18 Oct 2021, 3:16 pm

Quote:
we have exchanged a grand total of 5 messages, and she never replied to the last one I sent 2 days ago.


The ball is in her court. She decides whether she wants to reply to you or not. It takes 2 people to have a conversation. If she's not putting in any effort, regardless of the reason, there won't be a conversation.

I'd wait another day or 2. And if she still doesn't respond by then, you could reach out 1 more time, but if she still doesn't respond even after that, then it's done.



Muse933277
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18 Oct 2021, 7:44 pm

Dating is friggin hard. I feel bad for any young straight man living in this time because finding romantic partners has gotten harder and harder. 31% of men in America ages 18-39 didn't have sex in 2018, the highest it's ever been, compared to just 19% of women. And that was before the pandemic hit so it's likely even higher now.

I hope you make it out and find a nice girlfriend who you get to have sex with on the regular. Because if you don't, you'll wind up like me, bitter and alone. Yeah, going without love and sex won't technically kill you but it's a lonely life, an empty life, where you watch others date and wish you got to experience those things as well. I never got the chance or opportunity, and you have no idea how much i'd kill for that opportunity.

Anyways, I hope you have better luck than I did.



AquaineBay
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19 Oct 2021, 3:41 pm

If I were you I would just go to the restaurant and ask her out on a date(If you know her hours I would suggest after she is done working or on break). The thing about texting is that you don't get any emotional feelings and you can't gauge body language to be for sure, that is why many men recommend using texting as a way to facilitate a date and not as the main communication between you. If she needs more time then I would go with phone call or video chat, I will just tell you now texting isn't going to actually get you anywhere and just leave you in the dark. Since she is extremely shy you might have to put in a little more effort in the beginning but, after a while she should get more comfortable talking to you. The best way to find out though is in person whether she is interested or not(by asking her on a date).



Ettina
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28 Oct 2021, 5:15 am

MJS7101 wrote:
Now this is confusing to me because I noted multiple signs of interest.


What signs?



MJS7101
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28 Oct 2021, 7:38 am

Ettina wrote:
MJS7101 wrote:
Now this is confusing to me because I noted multiple signs of interest.


What signs?


She is noticeably more nervous when talking to me than other customers. She has gone out of her way to walk by where I was sitting to smile at me while blushing. She brings my food over even when that isn't her job, like if she is the hostess and not a waitress (specifically to me, no one else). And she did give me her phone number when she didn't necessarily have to I guess.



kraftiekortie
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28 Oct 2021, 7:43 am

It's possible, yes.

I've felt the same way about women who were attentive to me. Sometimes, though, they just wanted to be friendly, and were not interested in me romantically.

it doesn't mean she's NOT interested in you. It just means there's not merely one interpretation for this particular situation.

I would be delighted if it turns out that she digs you.