Are any of you jealous of how successful some people are?

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catpiecakebutter
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19 Oct 2021, 5:32 pm

I'm jealous of how my cousins have travel to places and I feel envy of my cousins, my sister and 2 friends of mine who have jobs. I don't really have a paid job, I volunteer but I would like to earn money and traveling would be nice. I don't like having a mental illness. Sometimes I feel other people with mental illnesses are successful than me in handling their emotions better. How do any of you handle jealousy?



Last edited by catpiecakebutter on 19 Oct 2021, 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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19 Oct 2021, 5:35 pm

I can get envious of my brother sometimes. He has a good amount of money.



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19 Oct 2021, 5:47 pm

I'm never envious of success, competence or what-haves.
I'm envious about people never having to deal with crap that I have to.



So if I envy the rich, it won't be because they have fancier stuff but because they don't have to worry about their resources.
And there are other ways not to worry about resources other than being rich.


I don't envy the successful, I envy the spoiled.

So I won't be the best person to ask how I handle envy.
Because the people I envy tend to be either lacking themselves, which some had it worse in some ways enough to make me stop envying them.
Or for unusual reasons not very visible to many.


So with this reasoning, I'd likely be very envious towards well cared housecats than the so-called 'global elites' and 'world renown greats' by a mile.


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Joe90
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19 Oct 2021, 7:37 pm

I get jealous of my NT peers for being better than I am at making friends. It's not that I don't want other people to have friends, it's just that other people having friends reminds me of how lonely and hopeless I am and I get frustrated, especially if socially awkward or odd people still seem to have friends and live normal active social lives. I beat myself up about it inside.


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funeralxempire
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19 Oct 2021, 7:57 pm

I'm not really prone to jealousy, I just want to be emotionally content and have somewhere comfortable to sleep.


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19 Oct 2021, 8:13 pm

had kinda learned not to be jeolous , cause it was more a point of veiw , i thought .
But as health concerns come up find myself jeolous of people whom have good health .
And wonder how their veiw of life might be if they were dealing with serious real life health issues.
or other real life issues. Or having been less victimized by whom appear much fortunate.
Would they possibly be more compassionate of others less fortunate.?


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MuddRM
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19 Oct 2021, 9:33 pm

Being jealous of anyone for anything has done nothing for me except make me a lot more bitter. I pretty much gave up playing keeping up with the Joneses. I have enough issues with no longer being able to participate in my special interest because of physical limitations (carpal tunnel syndrome, since surgery for said condition made the condition worse) or lack of use (as well as age), no thanks to SARS-COV19, has taken a toll on my voice.



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19 Oct 2021, 10:08 pm

I get jealous of people who are autistic and have a strong talent and/or useful area of interest/skill, even if it’s very niche, especially if they are mildly autistic (I’m moderate). Makes me feel cheated by my autism because I got a healthy helping of negative and neutral aspects, but not really any positive parts.


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auntblabby
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19 Oct 2021, 10:32 pm

i can't afford to let myself think about those things, about the legions of folks who are so much better than me in every way, it leads to crazy envy. i also can't afford to think too much about the people who are beneath me in every way, that leads to pity and sadness at not being better equipped to help those people. for there will alway be greater and lesser than thou.



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20 Oct 2021, 7:58 am

No. I could never understand the concept of being envious of others. I would not want to walk in other peoples’ shoes. They might have problems that you may not see that are much larger than your own.



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20 Oct 2021, 10:29 am

I used to be jealous of my siblings for being some other relatives' favorites (I was nobody's favorite), until those other relatives all eventually passed away and (obviously) stopped favoring my siblings over me.  If favoritism is a measure of childhood success, then my siblings were more successful than I until both parents had passed away.



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20 Oct 2021, 11:27 am

I've never really been jealous of other people's success. I'm kind of indifferent to it to be honest.

That's not to say I haven't felt jealous of people for other reasons though. I usually tell people I'm jealous of them and it kind of defuses any bad feeling. Like if someone looks really good or has something I want or is going somewhere nice. I just say "aw I'm really jealous I wish I had that". And then that's the end of that.



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20 Oct 2021, 11:43 am

Not exactly jealous but more puzzled.



Jakki
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20 Oct 2021, 2:12 pm

not understood jeolousy .... cause humans are humans, i always thought, and i thought as humans, we suppose to help each other out . So never thought about being advantaged in material possessions , i might admire something someone has and even tell them so. But thats were that ends. And did not consider people in authority had any better opinion than anyone else. And talked to them from that point of veiw. No i see later that , i was all wrong about how humans in society behave here in the USA ( at least) . And these operating parameters , were so far off base that , i had trouble concieving how real life worked . And because of this wiring in my brain , Now am extremely conservative in whom i deal with . Even though am still not able to percieve values of people in respect to their status in life . Am very selective in real life whom i talk with , to any degree of
real trust . We all are just a collection of our thoughts and experiences .And how deeply they are ingrained in our minds . And that part , i think should be valued and shared as applicable.
being autistic and having a few extra neural circuits . Does allow autistic persons to record more details in situation depending on their level of involvement . Has been my own experience .

( its all in there , just accessing that part of the recorded memory is the Issue) :wall: :wall: :wall:


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shortfatbalduglyman
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20 Oct 2021, 5:05 pm

sometimes i get jealous. someone is better than me academically, socially, athletically. someone earns more cash. someone gets sick less often than me. someone is more aesthetically attractive.

the solar system contains eight billion people. only one person is the best at something. even that one person is only the best, in that second. it says nothing about the next second.

however, not everything is the way it appears. for example, someone might have put a lot of time, energy and money, into their academic and athletic accomplishments.

"do your best" is a good statement. however "don't put all your eggs in one basket" even better.

many factors determine how successful someone will be. some of those factors are (at least partially) out of someone's control. for example, some five year olds drop dead from cancer. that is not their fault. some defendants get framed and wrongfully convicted and sent to jail for a long time. that drastically limits their opportunities of being successful. racism, sexism, homophobia.

however, some factors that determine the outcome, are within your control.

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Jakki
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21 Oct 2021, 11:52 am

Fnord wrote:
I used to be jealous of my siblings for being some other relatives' favorites (I was nobody's favorite), until those other relatives all eventually passed away and (obviously) stopped favoring my siblings over me.  If favoritism is a measure of childhood success, then my siblings were more successful than I until both parents had passed away.


Sorry your parents had passed on, Hope they went peacefully .


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