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Jamesy
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21 Oct 2021, 11:15 am

I live in the UK

My parents told me that regurley once a week hanging around at the same bar/pub on your own for 2 or 3 hours in the evening is a weird thing to do.

Do you think my parents are right or not?



Fnord
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21 Oct 2021, 11:17 am

Jamesy wrote:
I live in the UK

My parents told me that regurley once a week hanging around at the same bar/pub on your own for 2 or 3 hours in the evening is a weird thing to do.

Do you think my parents are right or not?
They seem to have expressed their subjective opinion, making its "rightness" irrelevant.



Jamesy
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21 Oct 2021, 11:20 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I live in the UK

My parents told me that regurley once a week hanging around at the same bar/pub on your own for 2 or 3 hours in the evening is a weird thing to do.

Do you think my parents are right or not?
They seem to have expressed their subjective opinion, making its "rightness" irrelevant.



Do you think though some people dislike the idea of going to a pub on there own without friends? If so why?



Fnord
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21 Oct 2021, 11:23 am

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I live in the UK. My parents told me that regurley once a week hanging around at the same bar/pub on your own for 2 or 3 hours in the evening is a weird thing to do. Do you think my parents are right or not?
They seem to have expressed their subjective opinion, making its "rightness" irrelevant.
Do you think though some people dislike the idea of going to a pub on there own without friends? If so why?
Some people simply do not like pubs; you would have to ask THEM for their reasons.



Jamesy
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21 Oct 2021, 11:25 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I live in the UK. My parents told me that regurley once a week hanging around at the same bar/pub on your own for 2 or 3 hours in the evening is a weird thing to do. Do you think my parents are right or not?
They seem to have expressed their subjective opinion, making its "rightness" irrelevant.
Do you think though some people dislike the idea of going to a pub on there own without friends? If so why?
Some people simply do not like pubs; you would have to ask THEM for their reasons.



My dad did say to me though that if your a man and go into a bar on your own people will treat you with suspicion.



Joe90
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21 Oct 2021, 6:03 pm

My mum told me once that people going into a pub on their own are considered "sad" - unless they're friends with the bartender or landlord or whatever and visit daily or at least weekly. But if you just go into a pub and sit and drink alone people will apparently laugh at you, particularly if you're a woman. Oh, unless you are eating a meal, then it's OK. But if you just sit there drinking alone without talking to anyone, you will be judged harshly.

Social standards change depending on context.


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22 Oct 2021, 1:01 am

I don't see what's wrong with it, but I don't go to pubs... I'm not so familiar with the social norms. But then these change all the time so what might be considered weird now might be considered normal in future.

If you are happy doing it, then there's nothing wrong with it. :)



kraftiekortie
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22 Oct 2021, 7:02 am

It’s a waste of money, if you ask me. Drinks aren’t cheap.

Pubs are places where you could very well meet the dregs of humanity.



DuckHairback
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22 Oct 2021, 7:07 am

Regularly: Most people do things regularly.
Hanging around a bar/pub: Lots of people do that, not weird
Once a week: Lots of people go to bars/pubs more regularly than that.
2-3 hours: Seems about right
On your own: Ahhh, yes. I see.

A lot of people seem to think anybody doing anything 'on their own' is weird. I go camping on my own - I've been told that's weird. I go to the skatepark on my own. I guess that must be a bit weird for a 40-something else there'd be others doing it. I've been to restaurants on my own - that certainly feels weird.

There's something though, about going to a pub/bar on your own that I think people would feel is at odds with the purpose of those places. They're social places. People tend to be there to socialise. I have my suspicions that actually the socialising is really just an excuse for drinking alcohol, but that's another thing.

So I'd say they're right that it's weird, in the sense that it's unusual. But the real question is, is the fact that it's weird important? Are you hurting anyone? Are you hurting yourself?

What do you do when you're at the pub/bar? Do you meet people, talk to strangers? Do you just sit and drink alone? What do you get out of it? Do you like it?



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22 Oct 2021, 7:09 am

Jamesy wrote:
I live in the UK

My parents told me that regurley once a week hanging around at the same bar/pub on your own for 2 or 3 hours in the evening is a weird thing to do.

Do you think my parents are right or not?


I could see how people could perceive it as "weird", especially when done alone. As Fnord has said, this is entirely subjective though. I'm not one who enjoys social gathering places like bars/pubs, so I don't really have a right to judge what you do in your spare time.

From what I'm gleaning from your other posts about the pub, I AM curious to know if you enjoy your time at the pub? If it is something that brings you peace or happiness, then it doesn't really matter how you are perceived.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Oct 2021, 7:18 am

The guy is a TARGET at that pub.

It would serve him well to find something better to do with his time and money.



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22 Oct 2021, 7:32 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
The guy is a TARGET at that pub.

That was the impression I got. I think a different, more suitable "hangout" is a good idea.

Another question for Jamesy:
What exactly is your intention/goal when you go to the pub? What do you hope to get out of it?


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Benjamin the Donkey
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22 Oct 2021, 8:10 pm

If they don't like the idea of going into a pub alone, then they shouldn't do it. It has nothing to do with you

When I was much younger and socially inept, going to pubs and observing human social interaction was a valuable learning experience. I didn't always go to the same pub, but that's just because I don't like to be too predictable to other people.


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23 Oct 2021, 5:25 am

It depends on if you are weird.

Are you weird?

Idk I've been in pubs many a time on my own in my life. Mainly because I was lonely and bored with staying at home in my own company.

I've also been in pubs many times with friends and I have seen lone males come in to the pub. Some just have one drink and move on. Some chat to other lone men.

Public bars are there for the public no matter who you are. They don't discriminate between single people and people in groups. As long as you are doing no harm then you can enter a pub alone. It's up to you if you decide that people might think you are weird.

Your parents are obviously concerned about how other people are perceiving you.



kraftiekortie
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23 Oct 2021, 8:54 am

There’s nothing wrong with going to a pub. Not all pub patrons are nasty people. It’s fun to play trivia games in them, or pool. I don’t play pool for money, though.

But the “regulars” of certain pubs tend to be the sorts of people who find weaknesses in other people, and exploit them. I feel those folks see you as a “target,” so they call you names like “pedophile,” even though there’s no reason to believe you’re a pedophile.

I’d rather just stay home and be lonely…than be lonely around a bunch of bitter people while spending lots of money.



IsabellaLinton
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23 Oct 2021, 9:22 am

A few months ago you posted that you were going to stop hanging around in pubs.

You said that it wasn't helping and you were going to try something different for meeting people.