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HeroOfHyrule
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23 Oct 2021, 5:55 pm

Whenever I say "hello" or "good afternoon" to a stranger they often act weird about it. Am I not supposed to be doing that?


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23 Oct 2021, 6:19 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Whenever I say "hello" or "good afternoon" to a stranger they often act weird about it. Am I not supposed to be doing that?


You carry on being friendly. Tis THEY who are weird!

Or the comedy answer is... Depends what region you are from. I'm a Northerner (UK) so I do this too.
This video on the subject just cracks me up! :D :mrgreen:
https://youtu.be/PT0ay9u1gg4


When I had a dog and said Hello to other dog owners, it was ok, but since I don't have a dog anymore and I say Hello to dog owners, they just think I'm weird!

Shame really. :cry: :?



CarlM
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23 Oct 2021, 7:52 pm

I can relate to that feeling when they act weird about it. I will talk to strangers in certain situations and not in others. But in most cases, I find them rude when they ignore me or act weird. An example of a situation where most would return the greeting is hiking and two group of hikers pass each other. Even then, a few will not return the greeting. I suppose the more leisurely and less crowded the activity, the more people would be likely to return the greeting.


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Joe90
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23 Oct 2021, 8:18 pm

I always thought it was a social standard not to greet strangers when you walk past each other, but so many people I know greet every stranger that they pass whenever we're out (unless we are in a busy place). I started to find it annoying. It seems that it doesn't matter what facial expression they had, if they met a passing stranger's eye for even a nanosecond the stranger would say "hello", but whenever I looked at a stranger for a nanosecond or a second or two, and whether I smiled or not, they'd either just glare at me or look away. I'm too shy to say hello first, but I thought that by smiling it might make them at least smile back, but it doesn't.

These days I don't bother making eye contact with passing strangers at all, unless I have to interact with them.


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theprisoner
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23 Oct 2021, 9:30 pm

See this something i have opinion, cause i've walked past lot of people, and iv purposely observed and scrutinized reactions, and everybody reacts different. some will barely look you in the eyes, others will nod, others will smile, others will smile and say hello. everybody reacts differently. some will not even acknowledge your presence, they're distracted maybe.

me, regardless, i will just maybe nod upwards. im not really expressive. (in that sense i gues my default mde is introverted )unless put on the spot and somebody outright initiates a conversation. and not just a friendly greeting like "have a nice evening." sometimes even nt people dont respond, to"hello," if its a stranger. ive responded to homeless man asking for money once, cause i felt i had to reply, while my nt freind, like the crowd around us, just straight up ignored their existence.


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IsabellaLinton
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23 Oct 2021, 9:35 pm

I don't make eye contact or greet anyone but if they say hello I'll say it back.

It's awkward because I have a dog and other dog walkers love to make small talk, or even attempt walking with me.

I've taken to walking my dog in the pitch dark to avoid people as much as possible.



cyberdad
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23 Oct 2021, 9:44 pm

There are cultural, gender, age and socio-demographic factors on whether you greet strangers.

If you live in a big city anywhere, then nobody is expected to greet strangers.

If you live a a suburb then it get slightly more nuanced. If you live in a working class neighborhood then people tend to be more friendly to strangers.

When I moved into my suburb in the early 2000s it was a new development and people were friendly. Today some 20 years later its become completely gentrified and older homes have been knocked down and replaced by mansions occupied by wealthy people who drive Mercedes and BMWs. I'm one of the few middle class left on my street who isn't overtly wealthy and drives an older Japanese car.

The upshot is that nobody on my street greets me anymore and when I tried to be friendly they ignore me and/or go back inside their million dollar mansions. COVID has been convenient in that I deliberately cross the street when coming across a pedestrian. I happily don't smile and avoid strangers.



theprisoner
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23 Oct 2021, 9:55 pm

Some will give you like a half smile, or an aborted smile. some a full on smile. its all very nuanced. yeah and older people, can be more outgoing, more likely to greet you, i find. i don't have a problem with eye contact. i think i will look most people in the eye. if nothing else.


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cyberdad
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23 Oct 2021, 10:00 pm

theprisoner wrote:
Some will give you like a half smile, or an aborted smile. some a full on smile. its all very nuanced. yeah and older people, can be more outgoing, more likely to greet you, i find. i don't have a problem with eye contact. i think i will look most people in the eye. if nothing else.


Older people can also be quite cranky and have a condescending air to any attempt to greet/smile. I tend to look for signs if I make eye contact in a shopping centre etc before deciding to smile, I rarely engage in chit chat these days.



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24 Oct 2021, 1:15 am

I wait for the other person to say something.



Dandansson
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24 Oct 2021, 6:04 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Whenever I say "hello" or "good afternoon" to a stranger they often act weird about it. Am I not supposed to be doing that?

greeting strangers? Just random strangers you meet?



AprilR
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24 Oct 2021, 8:22 am

I think it changes depending on where you live, small town or big City, culture etc.

I used to be called cold for not greeting people in my class in middle school despite i had nothing against them.

In college, i tried to be friendly and greeting the people in my class but people used to give me weird looks.

I say do whatever you want if you don't know what is customary. After all being too friendly can attract stalkers too and being seen as cold is definitely preferable to that.



babybird
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24 Oct 2021, 11:25 am

I don't think it's odd to nod to a stranger as in a greeting. Or even say good morning for that matter.



HeroOfHyrule
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24 Oct 2021, 4:27 pm

Dandansson wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Whenever I say "hello" or "good afternoon" to a stranger they often act weird about it. Am I not supposed to be doing that?

greeting strangers? Just random strangers you meet?

If I walk past someone and they look at me or notice me look at them I usually greet them. I don't just greet every single person I come across, to clarify.


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I use he/him pronouns.

I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I also enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.

Empathy Quotient: 34/80
Systemizing Quotient: 104/150
Friendship Quotient: 56/140
Autism Quotient: 36/80

RAADS-R: 169

CAT-Q: 153
Compensation: 57
Masking: 47
Assimilation: 49

Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 144 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200.
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie).


y-pod
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25 Oct 2021, 1:29 am

I greet people who are out for walks. I don't greet people out busy doing errands. I think that's quite standard here (suburb). I did realize just a couple days ago that I also tend to wave at people who said "hello" to me. I'm a hand talker so that's almost easier than saying something. My husband thought it's pretty funny because only important people wave. :D


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Ettina
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25 Oct 2021, 2:37 pm

It's weird to talk to strangers unless a) you have a specific purpose for the conversation (eg needing to know the time, get directions, etc) or b) you're forced to stay in proximity for awhile (eg riding the bus together). Lots of people out in public are busy or in a hurry, and they don't want to have to deal with an unnecessary interaction slowing them down.