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Emily S
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17 Jan 2022, 3:08 am

Is this something anyone here does? I self harm a lot. My arms, hands and legs are wrecked because of it but I guess it's a bit like smoking or a drug addiction, stopping feels impossible right now.



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17 Jan 2022, 7:55 am

I did as a kid, it is also something that adult daughter struggled with all her life. Getting therapy and meds helped.

You definitely do not have to hide or feel ashamed or alone, it is actually kind of common.
Are you wanting to change your self harm patterns?
You are definitely not alone.


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swan_of_the_sur
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17 Jan 2022, 5:17 pm

Sometimes the physical pain is the only thing to cancel out the overloading mental anguish that can destroy me, so temporary pain as such was/is one way to stop it, but of course, I always know it's not right, it's temporary and doesn't help in the long run - if someone notices, you come up with something. Once I said the cat jumped off my arm, or I blame it on when I work outdoors. It's embarrassing and I want to hide it from the public...but at desparate times when no one is there,.it's a quick fix. I've probably done it a handful of times as an adult, but highschool, it was daily...and relationships can really the root of that evil for me...



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18 Jan 2022, 6:35 am

Emily S wrote:
Is this something anyone here does? I self harm a lot. My arms, hands and legs are wrecked because of it but I guess it's a bit like smoking or a drug addiction, stopping feels impossible right now.


There was a time in my teens were I had a huge compulsion to cut myself, for maybe a month or so. I didn't give in because I felt I would regret marking my body. The compulsion went away.

I know it's probably very hard to stop since you've started, but is there something similar you can do? The less you give in, the less you will want to do it, I think. I find playing guitar helps with aggression. Repetitive, physical action. Maybe you could find some physical activity to direct your energy at.



Emily S
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18 Jan 2022, 9:43 am

HighLlama wrote:
Emily S wrote:
Is this something anyone here does? I self harm a lot. My arms, hands and legs are wrecked because of it but I guess it's a bit like smoking or a drug addiction, stopping feels impossible right now.


There was a time in my teens were I had a huge compulsion to cut myself, for maybe a month or so. I didn't give in because I felt I would regret marking my body. The compulsion went away.

I know it's probably very hard to stop since you've started, but is there something similar you can do? The less you give in, the less you will want to do it, I think. I find playing guitar helps with aggression. Repetitive, physical action. Maybe you could find some physical activity to direct your energy at.


I think you're right about finding an activity to do as a distraction to stop this. Guitar sounds great! I used to play a Yamaha acoustic guitar when I was like 16/17. Lost interest though, I do still have it so maybe I could get it out again and give it another try. It may help ease or stop the self harming. I need to stop really because my skin is now really scarred and I don't like it.



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19 Jan 2022, 3:49 am

I hope it helps :)



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19 Jan 2022, 3:52 am

I have a few small scars, but none of them was intentionally inflicted by myself.


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21 Jan 2022, 3:42 pm

I've self harmed. I started doing it when I was about 6 years old and did it off and on until I was in my 30s.

I'm sorry you have scars to deal with. I believe cocoa butter can help them to heal.



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23 Jan 2022, 9:00 am

Yeah. One led to some disability, but I couldn't handle the thoughts/memories at the time and just wanted overwhelming pain to take it away. The rest are superficial.

Not that uncommon for people like me.



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23 Jan 2022, 11:39 pm

I've self-harmed before and I have some scars from it, which are really embarrassing. I mainly get the urge to do that when I'm really, really overwhelmed.


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Nemesis2k7
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30 Jan 2022, 5:51 am

my left arm..scars.



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09 Feb 2022, 7:57 pm

I have the scars on my stomach and legs but haven't in awhile. The urge is very strong at times though.



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09 Feb 2022, 8:13 pm

I have bruises on the insides of my forearms right now because I could not contain all my anger and frustration while feeling empty at the same time. My parents invited me over for a birthday dinner party with my brother and sil, but I don't think they noticed. I'm too chicken to make cuts worse than scratches and I worry about scars and infections, but maybe the bruising will help desensitize me to worse pain. I now that sounded insane but there's nothing else I can do. I can't talk to anyone on help lines or whatever because they're useless, I don't trust them, they can't make the world even slightly less insidious so they can't change how I feel, and psychiatrists will put you in the hospital and deprive you of everything that still makes your life tolerable.



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09 Feb 2022, 8:16 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
I have bruises on the insides of my forearms right now because I could not contain all my anger and frustration while feeling empty at the same time. My parents invited me over for a birthday dinner party with my brother and sil, but I don't think they noticed. I'm too chicken to make cuts worse than scratches and I worry about scars and infections, but maybe the bruising will help desensitize me to worse pain. I now that sounded insane but there's nothing else I can do. I can't talk to anyone on help lines or whatever because they're useless, I don't trust them, they can't make the world even slightly less insidious so they can't change how I feel, and psychiatrists will put you in the hospital and deprive you of everything that still makes your life tolerable.


It's not chicken to not hurt yourself deeply! Also even if they're small it is good to apply dettol or whatever equivalent you have available to you. Plaster spray could be good too! Stay safe and I'm sorry you are hurting.



Magicklore
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10 Feb 2022, 7:08 pm

I used to but haven't in a while. It's mostly something I did before I realized I was autistic and it was a way of stimming/self regulating for me. I didn't know how to stim in a healthy way so if I was overwhelmed as soon as I was in private I would hit, bite, scratch, cut, burn myself and the pain was grounding. I still sometimes hit myself but and I get the urge to cut or burn every once in a while but I know that I just need to do something else to counteract that feeling.



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10 Feb 2022, 11:46 pm

I have scars on my wrist from slashing it when I was a kid. No such behavior as an adult, though I occasionally do a hunger strike. Kinda doing one now.