Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,216
Location: Near London United Kingdom

19 Apr 2022, 6:11 am

Why do some people feel the need to point out facial features about a person that an individual is self consciousness about? Don't they realise its rude and unnecessary behaviour?

For example this one bloke at the pub who is part of my social group pointed out the other day that I had dark circle/eye bags under my eyes.



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 582
Location: Cardiff, Wales

19 Apr 2022, 6:38 am

Maybe he is trying to destroy your confidence, he might not even know that himself.



shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,601

19 Apr 2022, 7:47 am

There could be a lot of reasons

Not enough information to determine the answer

However some precious lil "people" act like every thought and emotion that goes through their heads are the latest greatest scientific invention.

Their motives could be positive negative or neither



JaneD
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 33
Location: earth I guess

19 Apr 2022, 8:00 am

Jamesy wrote:
For example this one bloke at the pub who is part of my social group pointed out the other day that I had dark circle/eye bags under my eyes.


It could also be an attempt to start a personal conversation, trying to find out if something is changing in your life for you show signs of exhaustion in your face.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 55,677
Location: Stendec

19 Apr 2022, 8:03 am

Jamesy wrote:
Why do people do this?
Insufficient data.

Why are some people obsessed with their own appearances?



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,205
Location: UK

19 Apr 2022, 12:00 pm

It's OK if an NT does it but if an Aspie does it then they get a huge lecture about empathy and all that s**t.


_________________
Female
Aged 32
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and mild ASD

I don't like autism being mentioned to me as I'm partly in denial.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 82,748
Location: Queens, NYC

19 Apr 2022, 5:25 pm

Whether an NT or an autistic person does this, it's pretty stupid.

This is typical behavior for barflies.



HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 8,254
Location: Pacific Northwest

19 Apr 2022, 5:30 pm

Sometimes people are just blunt, especially drunk people. I don't have a great filter myself due to ASD and ADHD, and have had to learn to not just point out things like that, even though I'm not trying to be mean.


_________________
I use he/him pronouns.

I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I also have a rabbit, and enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 110,055
Location: the island of defective toy santas

19 Apr 2022, 6:05 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Why do some people feel the need to point out facial features about a person that an individual is self consciousness about? Don't they realise its rude and unnecessary behaviour? For example this one bloke at the pub who is part of my social group pointed out the other day that I had dark circle/eye bags under my eyes.

mebbe you shoulda tol' him "hey, you want some bags under your eyes too? i can give them to you!"



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 105,288
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow

22 Apr 2022, 6:13 pm

I'd just ignore it and carry on with the conversation.


_________________
Peabody

Om Nom 2024

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


CrazyEspy
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 22 Apr 2022
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 37

23 Apr 2022, 5:37 am

I will never know, this isn't just limited to facial features either, they'll point out anything that stands out even if this is obviously a negative thing. The worst is when something induces a facial palsy episode with me and one side gets more droopy and I have less overall control of my expression and voice. They amount of times I've gotten rude comments and people were offended at my obvious condition is baffling. It's not every NT of course but I imagine it's those one's that live in a ironically very small world that never really faced too many problems in their entire life or seen anyone with a real disability before actually functioning in the wild. It's likely the case because those small town people are always the one's acting like this the most, I like to call it small town syndrome. Everyone is a freak but them of course, in fact they'll go to a different place and point out while in a place that isn't their own how weird the locals are, it really is like a disease.