Why are men threatened by a high body count compared to..?

Page 1 of 15 [ 236 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 15  Next

ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 38
Posts: 5,404
Location: canada

08 Jun 2022, 1:04 am

Men are threatened by a women having a high number of sex partners in her past, thinking she will not be faithful to him as a result. But how come women do not think this way and women often are attracted to men with a high body count, and want the guy who all the other women want?

Is there a reason why men are more threatened by that compared to women out of curiosity?



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,348

08 Jun 2022, 1:15 am

ironpony wrote:
Men are threatened by a women having a high number of sex partners in her past, thinking she will not be faithful to him as a result. But how come women do not think this way and women often are attracted to men with a high body count, and want the guy who all the other women want?

Is there a reason why men are more threatened by that compared to women out of curiosity?


I can't speak for all men but I wouldn't touch a woman with a high body count with a 40 foot pole as for me a long term relationship with a woman should be based on stability and trust.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 110,416
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Jun 2022, 1:37 am

man wants to be the only one. woman wants the only one.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,348

08 Jun 2022, 1:39 am

Each to their own I guess. But for men who want a long term relationship their standards would be different to a guy who wants a one night stand/hookup



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 110,416
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Jun 2022, 1:40 am

the ones catting around deserve one another. let them permanently be in a walled-off category away from the rest of us.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,348

08 Jun 2022, 1:43 am

auntblabby wrote:
the ones catting around deserve one another. let them permanently be in a walled-off category away from the rest of us.


Seems the "hot babes" get a dose of reality in their late 30s when their pool of potential alphas starts to shrivel up.



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1932
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,626
Location: wales

08 Jun 2022, 1:57 am

ironpony wrote:
Men are threatened by a women having a high number of sex partners in her past, thinking she will not be faithful to him as a result. But how come women do not think this way and women often are attracted to men with a high body count, and want the guy who all the other women want?

Is there a reason why men are more threatened by that compared to women out of curiosity?


Depends on what this body count entails. If it's just a load of one nighters that the men agree too then I wouldn't think she's behaving in any way unreasonable.

If she's constantly jumping from one partner to another then that's a bigger concern.



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,371
Location: Poland

08 Jun 2022, 2:06 am

Nades wrote:
Depends on what this body count entails. If it's just a load of one nighters that the men agree too then I wouldn't think she's behaving in any way unreasonable.

If she's constantly jumping from one partner to another then that's a bigger concern.
That's a point of view I never considered before but it makes sense:
Lots of past one-nighters suggests one enjoys sex and does not treat it very seriously.
Lots of past relationships suggests one has interpersonal difficulties.

Personally, I was never interested in one-nighters nor in guys interested in one-nighters. I'm demisexual. High "body count" would be a sign of incompatibility with me.
I'm lucky to live in a culture totally okay with that.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,567
Location: Australia

08 Jun 2022, 2:25 am

In general, women are more selective about who they are willing to sleep with. As such, a man who can bed a lot of women is seen as someone who must possess desirable qualities.

Since the average woman has a much easier time finding willing casual sex partners than the average man, and because of the cultural perception that sex is something men want to take from women, a woman who has a lot of sex partners is seen as having low standards or poor impulse control.



kitesandtrainsandcats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2016
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,473
Location: Missouri

08 Jun 2022, 2:37 am

Quote:
Sex Transm Dis

. Sep-Oct 1992;19(5):272-8.
doi: 10.1097/00007435-199209000-00006.

Multiple partners and partner choice as risk factors for sexually transmitted disease among female college students

G P Joffe 1 , B Foxman, A J Schmidt, K B Farris, R J Carter, S Neumann, K A Tolo, A M Walters
Affiliations

PMID: 1411843 DOI: 10.1097/00007435-199209000-00006

Abstract

Multiple sexual partners and partner choice are believed to increase the risk of sexually transmitted disease (STD), but these behaviors had not previously been assessed outside of clinical populations. In this study, a cross-sectional survey among single, white, female students in their senior year of college was conducted to measure the association between behavioral risk factors and the acquisition of self-reported STDs during college. The usable response rate was 47.2% (n = 467). The combined prevalence of chlamydial infection, gonorrhea, genital herpes, human papillomavirus (HPV) infection, syphilis, and trichomoniasis during a 3.5-year period was 11.7%. There was a strong association between number of sexual partners and having an STD: those women with 5 or more sexual partners were 8 times more likely to report having an STD than those with only 1 partner, even after adjusting for age at first intercourse (odds ratio = 8.1; 95% confidence interval = 1.99, 32.64). The prevalence of a history of STDs increased with more causal partner choice and earlier age at first intercourse, but neither factor was independently associated with a history of STDs. Of the respondents, 23% always used condoms. Future research should focus on identifying ways of effectively changing high-risk sexual behavior.


https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1411843/


_________________
"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011


traven
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Sep 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,602

08 Jun 2022, 2:53 am

contrairy to the myth, sex is often close friends with power and also money/status


in generalisations, men can do it to anything, something nice or something abject, hatesex and grouprape, wth is that?

and love for power, eg, :nerdy: the seedy docter of hundred babies

or in every comparable, the bellcurve for men has more outliers, where the bellcurve for women tends to have less% on the extremes



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,348

08 Jun 2022, 5:00 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Since the average woman has a much easier time finding willing casual sex partners than the average man, and because of the cultural perception that sex is something men want to take from women, a woman who has a lot of sex partners is seen as having low standards or poor impulse control.


^^^ This



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 38
Posts: 5,404
Location: canada

08 Jun 2022, 5:51 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
In general, women are more selective about who they are willing to sleep with. As such, a man who can bed a lot of women is seen as someone who must possess desirable qualities.

Since the average woman has a much easier time finding willing casual sex partners than the average man, and because of the cultural perception that sex is something men want to take from women, a woman who has a lot of sex partners is seen as having low standards or poor impulse control.


But if a guy has a lot of selective women going for him, then why isn't he seen as having poor impulse control as well, if he chooses to sleep with all of them?



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,371
Location: Poland

08 Jun 2022, 6:07 am

ironpony wrote:
But if a guy has a lot of selective women going for him, then why isn't he seen as having poor impulse control as well, if he chooses to sleep with all of them?
Good question.
If sleeping around is seen as poor impulse control, we should interpret it that way for all genders.
If sleeping around is seen as having fun, we should condemn no one (except for abusers).
That would be logical.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


Lost_dragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,069
Location: England

08 Jun 2022, 6:08 am

I noticed that there was an attitude shift when I came out as a lesbian. Previously, other people tended to be quite reserved about the subject of sex. I remember a time when I was sat with a group of guys and one of them started talking about his sex life. Another scolded him by telling him that was no way to talk in front of a lady. However, since coming out, there is no longer that hesitancy.

Generally I feel more comfortable if both people who were involved in the act tell me, otherwise I feel like I'm intruding, since your girlfriend might not want me to know about what you two did last night. Likewise if a woman tells me about the sex she had with her boyfriend, but I've never had that happen. Except in much vaguer terms. Frankly I'd rather you not tell me at all, I never quite know how I'm supposed to react.

Um, that's a cool story, good for you, be safe? :lol:

Although, that's not to say women who like men aren't openly sexual. There are women who are quite vocal about their physical interest in men but there is a social stigma surrounding casual sex. I think the point others have made, about sex being seen as something which is done to women, rather than something both parties actively participate in, is certainly a contributing factor to this stigma. Such an attitude is rather disturbing. It takes two to tango. Usually the argument given is that it is more risky for a woman to sleep around due to the possibility of accidental pregnancy, but there is no judgement for potentially putting a woman at risk. I see this in abortion arguments when people remark "she knew the risks! It's her fault for sleeping with him!" but I rarely see "what an irresponsible man! It's his fault!" People have a tendency to see sex as something that a woman gives, something which happens to her, when it's meant to be a joint activity. Sometimes accidental pregnancy is no one's fault, condoms break and they're not 100% effective (but they're certainly better than nothing!)

Female sexuality has a long history of being seen as something that a woman gives up out of a sense of duty / to please her husband rather than something that she does out of her own sexual desire.


_________________
23. Possibly B.A.P.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,348

08 Jun 2022, 6:14 am

ironpony wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
In general, women are more selective about who they are willing to sleep with. As such, a man who can bed a lot of women is seen as someone who must possess desirable qualities.

Since the average woman has a much easier time finding willing casual sex partners than the average man, and because of the cultural perception that sex is something men want to take from women, a woman who has a lot of sex partners is seen as having low standards or poor impulse control.


But if a guy has a lot of selective women going for him, then why isn't he seen as having poor impulse control as well, if he chooses to sleep with all of them?


Damn, that makes sense