Love on the Spectrum: US edition

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MaxE
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20 Jun 2022, 12:27 pm

ironpony wrote:
MaxE wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Has there ever been anything serious or any wrong turns on the show, like a really ugly break up, unwanted pregnancy, etc?

IMO the worst thing was the Michael/Heather thing from S2 but that didn't completely play out in front of the camera.

As I remember, in S1/S2 (Australia) there were no lasting male/female relationships formed apart from those that were previously established. Only the gay participants found lasting relationships. But keep in mind that the harshest criticisms of the US version have focused on "lack of representation".

I would hope there will be Canadian and a British Isles version (would include Ireland). Those places have a bigger population than Australia. Well I guess if you don't like the show then you won't think that.


Oh that's interesting. Is there any reason why the gay relationships have more of a chance of lasting compared to the straight ones?

It just seemed the women lost interest even if they had some at first. Which not all of them did.


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Muse933277
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20 Jun 2022, 10:42 pm

cyberdad wrote:

The females on the show are actually quite functional/better looking than the males I notice.



I just watched the show and I would agree that the women are better looking than the guys. But actually looking at the two girls who DIDNT find a guy, I can see somewhat why.

1. Dani is the type of girl to fall for guys wayyyyy too fast. You can see with her first date on the 1st episode, they knew each other for an hour and she already said to him "i'm in love with you". No Dani, you are not in love with him, you barely even know him. And quite honestly, she got very lucky with him not thinking that she's a total weirdo for saying that. If I met a girl on Tinder and told her that I loved her within 30 minutes, my ass would be getting blocked afterwards.

2. Kaelynn is easily one of the most conventionally attractive woman they've had on the show and she can easily pass for a quirky neurotypical. The problem is that she's too picky; when they were showing her using Tinder, it was constant no, no, no, no, nos. She seems like the kind of gal that would reject a guy for mundane things that don't really matter all that much.


Anyways, just my opinion.



SabbraCadabra
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21 Jun 2022, 12:33 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
And quite honestly, she got very lucky with him not thinking that she's a total weirdo for saying that.

Not only that, but he had to go excuse himself to go write a love poem for her.
I was like "wow", lol.

But then she dumped him because he didn't show as much enthusiasm for animation as she would have liked >_<
Which, her being super inexperience in love, I can kind of understand, but her aunt and uncle (I believe?) heard the whole explanation and went along with it :roll:


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Muse933277
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21 Jun 2022, 1:12 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
Not only that, but he had to go excuse himself to go write a love poem for her.
I was like "wow", lol.

But then she dumped him because he didn't show as much enthusiasm for animation as she would have liked >_<
Which, her being super inexperience in love, I can kind of understand, but her aunt and uncle (I believe?) heard the whole explanation and went along with it :roll:



She’ll learn from it. (Hopefully)

We all do some stupid ass s**t in the name of love.

My “stupid” moment was getting into a relationship with a girl who lived 7000+ miles away within two weeks of talking to her. She wanted to wait until her wedding night to have sex, and it would have been impossible for her to come see me because her country is super strict with tourist visas anyways. Looking back, she was likely just using me so she could hopefully get a green card to live in America.


My buddy’s stupid ass s**t moment was sending dick pics to a girl because he was horny and it got him arrested.



orbweaver
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21 Jun 2022, 1:32 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
And quite honestly, she got very lucky with him not thinking that she's a total weirdo for saying that.

Not only that, but he had to go excuse himself to go write a love poem for her.
I was like "wow", lol.

But then she dumped him because he didn't show as much enthusiasm for animation as she would have liked >_<
Which, her being super inexperience in love, I can kind of understand, but her aunt and uncle (I believe?) heard the whole explanation and went along with it :roll:


IDK, I get it. I googled her a bit, animation is her THING. She may know herself pretty well and know she wouldn't be able to sustain a relationship with someone without them being into the thing that consumes a giant chunk of her life and her emotional investment. It's a very difficult balance to strike. Sometimes being in a relationship with someone who has a special interest (especially if they work in it and they're ambitious and driven) is like being in a polycule you didn't sign up for.


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cyberdad
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21 Jun 2022, 4:54 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
2. Kaelynn is easily one of the most conventionally attractive woman they've had on the show and she can easily pass for a quirky neurotypical. The problem is that she's too picky; when they were showing her using Tinder, it was constant no, no, no, no, nos. She seems like the kind of gal that would reject a guy for mundane things that don't really matter all that much.
Anyways, just my opinion.


I've seen women like Kaelynn before I think?



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21 Jun 2022, 5:53 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
2. Kaelynn is easily one of the most conventionally attractive woman they've had on the show and she can easily pass for a quirky neurotypical. The problem is that she's too picky; when they were showing her using Tinder, it was constant no, no, no, no, nos. She seems like the kind of gal that would reject a guy for mundane things that don't really matter all that much.
Anyways, just my opinion.


I've seen women like Kaelynn before I think?



There are lots of autistic women who look conventional. Also maybe it's just because I am a designer and studied animation, even the animator lady would just seem like a ton of people I've known who were in the culture of animation, if not for her, ah, flirting style. (Commercial art is probably an ND professional pipeline, tbh. I feel like lots of people in art and design just end up not getting diagnosed because "artists are weird" and it's a thing.)

I think there is a particular set of optics of autism presentation that the US show's showrunners are going for.


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21 Jun 2022, 11:31 pm

Well as to this notion that a lot of autistic people do not look attractive, I thought that autism was just an effect on the brain and did not effect looks at all, unless I am wrong?



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21 Jun 2022, 11:42 pm

ironpony wrote:
Well as to this notion that a lot of autistic people do not look attractive, I thought that autism was just an effect on the brain and did not effect looks at all, unless I am wrong?


It get's back to who is struggling to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. It makes sense the more attractive individuals are less likely to want to appear on this type of program but then again programs like MAFS get ultra attractive people who just want publicity.



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21 Jun 2022, 11:48 pm

orbweaver wrote:
There are lots of autistic women who look conventional. Also maybe it's just because I am a designer and studied animation, even the animator lady would just seem like a ton of people I've known who were in the culture of animation, if not for her, ah, flirting style. (Commercial art is probably an ND professional pipeline, tbh. I feel like lots of people in art and design just end up not getting diagnosed because "artists are weird" and it's a thing.)

I think there is a particular set of optics of autism presentation that the US show's showrunners are going for.


The basic gender difference I am seeing in the Australian and US versions of this show, is that the men are generally hopeless and awkward whereas the women are quirky and picky. There are of course exceptions and 1-2 of the young women are very nervous, awkward and impulsive.

I recall a UK dating program where a group of young intellectually disabled men and women (of various levels of functionality) were looking for a date and there was one man who had Aspergers who was very adamant he didn't want a girl who was disabled. He would walk up to girls and try and pick them in shops. According to the producers he seemed encouraged by the cameras but was really shy if he had to do it on his own.



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22 Jun 2022, 12:35 am

ironpony wrote:
Well as to this notion that a lot of autistic people do not look attractive, I thought that autism was just an effect on the brain and did not effect looks at all, unless I am wrong?



There are attractive people with autism, it's just that either 1 of 2 things happen.

1. Attractive people with autism are less likely to struggle with dating, particularly if they are a woman. Those reasons are obvious; the better looking you are, the easier it is to attract partners regardless of your social shortcomings. And if you don't struggle with dating, you're less likely to have an incentive to show up on a show like Love On The Spectrum.


2. Attractive people with autism are less likely to be diagnosed compared to homely looking people with autism. And here's why. If you're good looking, your social difficulties are much more likely to be forgiven. Where's if you're ugly, your social mistakes are much more likely to come off as weird. Therefore if you don't look traditionally autistic, and are quite beautiful/handsome, people are more likely to pass your autistic traits off as simply being quirky.


3. Many people with autism have motor/coordination issues and/or are less likely to be into exercise and sports. And people who frequently exercise are on average, more physically attractive than people who never exercise. So since people with autism are less likely to be into sports and exercising, it might make sense that they're also less likely to be considered conventionally attractive.



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22 Jun 2022, 1:08 am

Muse933277 wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Well as to this notion that a lot of autistic people do not look attractive, I thought that autism was just an effect on the brain and did not effect looks at all, unless I am wrong?



There are attractive people with autism, it's just that either 1 of 2 things happen.

1. Attractive people with autism are less likely to struggle with dating, particularly if they are a woman. Those reasons are obvious; the better looking you are, the easier it is to attract partners regardless of your social shortcomings. And if you don't struggle with dating, you're less likely to have an incentive to show up on a show like Love On The Spectrum.


2. Attractive people with autism are less likely to be diagnosed compared to homely looking people with autism. And here's why. If you're good looking, your social difficulties are much more likely to be forgiven. Where's if you're ugly, your social mistakes are much more likely to come off as weird. Therefore if you don't look traditionally autistic, and are quite beautiful/handsome, people are more likely to pass your autistic traits off as simply being quirky.


This checks out for me, and lines up with my life experience. I got away with a lot more when I was thin, attractive, young, and performing hyperfemininity.

Quote:
3. Many people with autism have motor/coordination issues and/or are less likely to be into exercise and sports. And people who frequently exercise are on average, more physically attractive than people who never exercise. So since people with autism are less likely to be into sports and exercising, it might make sense that they're also less likely to be considered conventionally attractive.


And some ASD-1 people who do exercise (I know of a couple of martial artists) may be less likely to be taken for being autistic.


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22 Jun 2022, 1:11 am

cyberdad wrote:
orbweaver wrote:
There are lots of autistic women who look conventional. Also maybe it's just because I am a designer and studied animation, even the animator lady would just seem like a ton of people I've known who were in the culture of animation, if not for her, ah, flirting style. (Commercial art is probably an ND professional pipeline, tbh. I feel like lots of people in art and design just end up not getting diagnosed because "artists are weird" and it's a thing.)

I think there is a particular set of optics of autism presentation that the US show's showrunners are going for.


The basic gender difference I am seeing in the Australian and US versions of this show, is that the men are generally hopeless and awkward whereas the women are quirky and picky. There are of course exceptions and 1-2 of the young women are very nervous, awkward and impulsive.

I recall a UK dating program where a group of young intellectually disabled men and women (of various levels of functionality) were looking for a date and there was one man who had Aspergers who was very adamant he didn't want a girl who was disabled. He would walk up to girls and try and pick them in shops. According to the producers he seemed encouraged by the cameras but was really shy if he had to do it on his own.


It's typical of these types of show to goad and shunt disabled people into awkward situations for entertainment.



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22 Jun 2022, 7:55 am

Muse933277 wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Well as to this notion that a lot of autistic people do not look attractive, I thought that autism was just an effect on the brain and did not effect looks at all, unless I am wrong?



There are attractive people with autism, it's just that either 1 of 2 things happen.

1. Attractive people with autism are less likely to struggle with dating, particularly if they are a woman. Those reasons are obvious; the better looking you are, the easier it is to attract partners regardless of your social shortcomings. And if you don't struggle with dating, you're less likely to have an incentive to show up on a show like Love On The Spectrum.


2. Attractive people with autism are less likely to be diagnosed compared to homely looking people with autism. And here's why. If you're good looking, your social difficulties are much more likely to be forgiven. Where's if you're ugly, your social mistakes are much more likely to come off as weird. Therefore if you don't look traditionally autistic, and are quite beautiful/handsome, people are more likely to pass your autistic traits off as simply being quirky.


3. Many people with autism have motor/coordination issues and/or are less likely to be into exercise and sports. And people who frequently exercise are on average, more physically attractive than people who never exercise. So since people with autism are less likely to be into sports and exercising, it might make sense that they're also less likely to be considered conventionally attractive.


Oh I see. What counts as. 'traditionally autistic looking'?



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22 Jun 2022, 8:26 am

It just so happens that there is a stereotype----wherein that autistic children and adolescents look "angelic," somehow, or are "beautiful."



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22 Jun 2022, 8:59 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It just so happens that there is a stereotype----wherein that autistic children and adolescents look "angelic," somehow, or are "beautiful."


Autism in the young is like a classic car to many. Everyone wants to fix one for social brownie points and immediately forget about it when it's done.

These patronising shows are similar. The fact they dedicated a show to "fix" these people is unsettling.

It reminds me of "Muslim driving school" where it felt like the show was pointless and only existed because Muslims had a stereotype of being reserved and needed mansplaining over.

As if being a Muslim made it hard to drive a car or something.