Love on the Spectrum: US edition

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cyberdad
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23 Jun 2022, 1:23 am

Muse933277 wrote:
She was crazy, and even admitted to it. She was your typical sorority girl that liked to drink, party, do drugs, and make out with random guys at a bar. .


And she was autistic?



cyberdad
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23 Jun 2022, 1:25 am

ironpony wrote:
But I don't understand how autistic people are more nerdy looking than NT if that's the case?


I think this intersects with special interests rather than "nerdyness"



Muse933277
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23 Jun 2022, 1:13 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
She was crazy, and even admitted to it. She was your typical sorority girl that liked to drink, party, do drugs, and make out with random guys at a bar. .


And she was autistic?



Yeah she wasn't like your typical autistic woman though. Being super extroverted and being into the bar/club scene isn't something your typical autistic person would be into. I have a sense that she was "masking" a bit, because she talked about it when we met up.

She was a self-described hoe which meant she was more interested in sex than a serious relationship. She just wasn't attracted to me hence the reason we never had sex or even kissed and I pretty much got friend-zoned. Although to be honest looking back, that was probably a blessing in disguise.



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23 Jun 2022, 2:28 pm

cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
But I don't understand how autistic people are more nerdy looking than NT if that's the case?


I think this intersects with special interests rather than "nerdyness"


Oh ok but I thought we were talking about looks and interests?



cyberdad
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23 Jun 2022, 5:11 pm

ironpony wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
But I don't understand how autistic people are more nerdy looking than NT if that's the case?


I think this intersects with special interests rather than "nerdyness"


Oh ok but I thought we were talking about looks and interests?


Well both. You can be nerdy without looking nerdy. Nerdyness is having special interests and by no means unique to people on the spectrum.



orbweaver
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23 Jun 2022, 5:24 pm

cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
But I don't understand how autistic people are more nerdy looking than NT if that's the case?


I think this intersects with special interests rather than "nerdyness"


Oh ok but I thought we were talking about looks and interests?


Well both. You can be nerdy without looking nerdy. Nerdyness is having special interests and by no means unique to people on the spectrum.


Lots of us just seem "a little weird."

I've been asked if I was on the spectrum (but moreso when my corner of the spectrum was more broadly known as Asperger's, than recently) by some people. If this ever comes up again, I should ask "what makes you ask?"


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cyberdad
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23 Jun 2022, 6:43 pm

orbweaver wrote:

Lots of us just seem "a little weird."

I've been asked if I was on the spectrum (but moreso when my corner of the spectrum was more broadly known as Asperger's, than recently) by some people. If this ever comes up again, I should ask "what makes you ask?"


What makes you think they think you are on the spectrum? speech, eye contact, mannerisms, all of the above?



orbweaver
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23 Jun 2022, 7:16 pm

cyberdad wrote:
orbweaver wrote:

Lots of us just seem "a little weird."

I've been asked if I was on the spectrum (but moreso when my corner of the spectrum was more broadly known as Asperger's, than recently) by some people. If this ever comes up again, I should ask "what makes you ask?"


What makes you think they think you are on the spectrum? speech, eye contact, mannerisms, all of the above?


They asked, "Do you have Asperger's?"


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cyberdad
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23 Jun 2022, 9:10 pm

orbweaver wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
orbweaver wrote:

Lots of us just seem "a little weird."

I've been asked if I was on the spectrum (but moreso when my corner of the spectrum was more broadly known as Asperger's, than recently) by some people. If this ever comes up again, I should ask "what makes you ask?"


What makes you think they think you are on the spectrum? speech, eye contact, mannerisms, all of the above?


They asked, "Do you have Asperger's?"


Yes but in your view what were they basing this on



orbweaver
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23 Jun 2022, 10:27 pm

cyberdad wrote:
orbweaver wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
orbweaver wrote:

Lots of us just seem "a little weird."

I've been asked if I was on the spectrum (but moreso when my corner of the spectrum was more broadly known as Asperger's, than recently) by some people. If this ever comes up again, I should ask "what makes you ask?"


What makes you think they think you are on the spectrum? speech, eye contact, mannerisms, all of the above?


They asked, "Do you have Asperger's?"


Yes but in your view what were they basing this on


Given who asked, I am guessing that it's familiarity with other individuals with Asperger's/ASD-1. For what it's worth, these are people I like, some of whom probably know a number of people with Asperger's, and it would not have been an insult coming from them.

Another thing that happened is that I was diagnosed ultimately because of a friend being diagnosed and seeing Asperger traits in me, and that when I started talking about it in my Livejournal, all of these people I know - pretty much, all of the people with whom I identified/connected the most - started coming out of the woodwork to tell me they either had it or thought they had it.

I am not sure if someone could tell who is not familiar with Asperger's. They would only have media stereotypes to go on, or the rather higher support needs people in recent representation. I did not believe I was autistic for well over a decade after my diagnosis, and when I told people I had ADHD (which I'm co-dx'd with), they didn't really question further.


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cyberdad
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23 Jun 2022, 10:41 pm

orbweaver wrote:
I am not sure if someone could tell who is not familiar with Asperger's. They would only have media stereotypes to go on, or the rather higher support needs people in recent representation. I did not believe I was autistic for well over a decade after my diagnosis, and when I told people I had ADHD (which I'm co-dx'd with), they didn't really question further.


Yes this is probably more likely than their familiarity with another person F2F. We are conditioned from a young age to expect particular behaviours from people with specific labels based on media or school (e.g. my automatic image of transvestites always involves Robin William's character in Tootsie popping up in my brain which isn't even accurate), These override the 1-2 individuals we meet who are diagnosed.



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24 Jun 2022, 12:33 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh well in my experience NT women have often tested me by seeing what I will do in certain situations or how I will answer questions to see if I was alpha male enough for them I guess, but so far, my ASD gf does not do that at all, and wonder if other ASD women are often the same therefore.


As an autistic woman that sounds ridiculous... the only 'test' I gave my boyfriend was seeing if he'd want to meet up a few more times and get to know each other before having sex cause before that I was willing for sex right away which just led to getting led on and guys losing interest. so yeah the only test I gave, was does he want to get to know me or just stick his dick in and move on. But for anything else I just wanted to talk to him directly, to determine if we had some simular ideas and could work as a couple, but no weird bs test questions just honesty...I even told him I had had bad experiences having sex too quick, and he did say he'd certainly like to have sex at some point but understood me not wanting to jump into it.

Idk I was pretty estatic that even though I did not agree to sex on the first time meeting him he still wanted to see me again. uhh Idk how I got such a gross idea that I had to be just immediately open to sex because maybe if they liked the sex I'd get a boyfriend. Turns out it was better to find someone with some simular interests that was willing to wait a few dates in to try sex. Idk I just thought I was supposed to have sex right away...I didn't understand there was hook up culture out there where people just want to get laid and that's it, I thought maybe if I had sex with a guy then they would want a relationship...I just wasn't aware of guys picking up easy chicks they don't want to date but will have sex with. And idk didn't know I was an 'easy' chick, legit thought having sex with a guy might make theem develop feelings and want a relationship with me.


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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 24 Jun 2022, 12:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

ironpony
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24 Jun 2022, 12:41 am

Oh I see. My condolences on men treating you like that.

But why do you think it sounds ridiculous when you yourself, said that you only gave your bf one test, which is a pretty small number compared to most NT women I have dated in my experience.



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24 Jun 2022, 12:55 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh I see. My condolences on men treating you like that.

But why do you think it sounds ridiculous when you yourself, said that you only gave your bf one test, which is a pretty small number compared to most NT women I have dated in my experience.


Well cause like testing to see how alpha the guy sounds is ridiculous, to me. LIke I would not be quizzing the guy to make sure he is up on all the redpill advice...I want to know the guy would care about me and we could have an actual romantic relationship.

Seems silly for a woman to test how alpha a guy is to reject them if they aren't enough, like are they afraid they won't get their fair share of the hazing the guy does to his new recruit frat brothers. do they want the man to force them to drink an entire bottle of vodka in one sitting to?


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ironpony
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24 Jun 2022, 6:30 am

I know it's silly and I agree, but I am just going based on my experience personally.

But as for a whole bottle of vodka, why would a guy want a woman to do that specifically?



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26 Jun 2022, 2:52 pm

I don’t really understand Dani’s mindset on Love On The Spectrum.

She wants a guy that’s into animation just like her, but when they set her up with a guy who’s passion is also animation, she rejects and friendzones him. We all know why; it’s because she thinks he’s ugly, I mean she even admitted it.


Let’s be honest, what she REALLY wants is a guy who’s into animation but only if he’s hot. She can meet guy who personality and interest wise, is very similar to her. But if he’s a 3, she ain’t going out with him. She won’t admit it, but just being honest.

So my point is that, looks matter. Don’t pretend they don’t, because they 100% do.