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Basement
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09 Jun 2022, 1:32 pm

I experience this a lot. I feel it's getting worse. I don't know if that's due to age or what. I'm posting because I feel it causes a lot of interference in my life, for example, decision making. It's like my brain is asking me to pick A or B, then wham, one is selected and that's it. Sometimes it feels uncontrollable, like a light switch that's being pressed by my brain, automatically.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?


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klanka
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09 Jun 2022, 2:55 pm

Got any examples? I have suffered from rigid thinking, like any slight infraction of a rule is bad.

I find it hard to write off a person and just consider them to be ignored permanently but I've to realise this has to happen sometimes.



Basement
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10 Jun 2022, 12:21 pm

klanka wrote:
Got any examples? I have suffered from rigid thinking, like any slight infraction of a rule is bad.

I find it hard to write off a person and just consider them to be ignored permanently but I've to realise this has to happen sometimes.


At the moment, restarting yoga (from YouTube, not classes) would be an example. I've not done it at all in 2022 and did very little in 2021. Another would be cutting down on sugar or sweet things. I did this successfully before, but the build up to the decision was very slow and undermined by black and white thinking.


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klanka
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10 Jun 2022, 12:44 pm

Like if you failed and had some chocolate you got really down on yourself?



shortfatbalduglyman
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13 Jun 2022, 3:39 pm

A lot of neurotypicals are much more "black and white thinking", than me. Even counselors

A counselor (master degree in psychology), was like "human behavior is unpredictable". Predictably ranges from zero to one hundred, but, according to the counselor, predictability is either one or zero

Plenty of neurotypicals use "ever", "always", "never", "people". Exaggeration for emphasis

And they do that a lot more often than my worthless corpse



orbweaver
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15 Jun 2022, 3:52 pm

My thinking is far from black and white, it's frustrating sometimes to have to (figuratively) mentally consult the entire Pantone color catalog to spit out an answer for people. Being asked to "yes or no" on stuff actually causes me to mentally lock up. I become overwhelmed by the number of options present for everything.


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DanielW
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15 Jun 2022, 4:11 pm

Black OR White thinking can also be a positive thing. It can allow you to make decisions quickly, and take appropriate action without second-guessing.

It only becomes a problem when you realize you've made a less than ideal choice and or have stuck to a course of action simply because of the sunken cost involved.

If you can make a binary choice and later determine it was incorrect, you simply chose the other option.

My own thinking tends to be very Black or White, and yes sometimes there are mistakes but on the whole, I'm more often right than wrong.



Basement
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16 Jun 2022, 1:55 pm

klanka wrote:
Like if you failed and had some chocolate you got really down on yourself?


No, not really. It's not about the chocolate, as such. It's the inability to make decisions. It has pervaded my life from learning to drive, reading books, booking holidays, buying things online, etc. Things are that more straightforward for others.

DanielW wrote:
Black OR White thinking can also be a positive thing. It can allow you to make decisions quickly, and take appropriate action without second-guessing.

It only becomes a problem when you realize you've made a less than ideal choice and or have stuck to a course of action simply because of the sunken cost involved.

If you can make a binary choice and later determine it was incorrect, you simply chose the other option.

My own thinking tends to be very Black or White, and yes sometimes there are mistakes but on the whole, I'm more often right than wrong.


I get that, but there's a quality of life impact here, hence the thread.

It affects little things, day-to-day, how I manage my email, running (hobby), etc.

It is like being asked to keep tempo with a metronome, constantly.

Will I go get my car looked at?
Will I tidy the wardrobe? I want to do it a certain way, I can't, so I'll never start, and don't.
Will I email X? What if I don't write the email properly? How much will I say? When is a good time to send it? Can I send it at a time that'll give me some space and not prompt an immediate follow up?

Relatively basic tasks become very stuck.


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orbweaver
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16 Jun 2022, 2:01 pm

Basement wrote:
klanka wrote:
Like if you failed and had some chocolate you got really down on yourself?


No, not really. It's not about the chocolate, as such. It's the inability to make decisions. It has pervaded my life from learning to drive, reading books, booking holidays, buying things online, etc. Things are that more straightforward for others.

DanielW wrote:
Black OR White thinking can also be a positive thing. It can allow you to make decisions quickly, and take appropriate action without second-guessing.

It only becomes a problem when you realize you've made a less than ideal choice and or have stuck to a course of action simply because of the sunken cost involved.

If you can make a binary choice and later determine it was incorrect, you simply chose the other option.

My own thinking tends to be very Black or White, and yes sometimes there are mistakes but on the whole, I'm more often right than wrong.


I get that, but there's a quality of life impact here, hence the thread.

It affects little things, day-to-day, how I manage my email, running (hobby), etc.

It is like being asked to keep tempo with a metronome, constantly.

Will I go get my car looked at?
Will I tidy the wardrobe? I want to do it a certain way, I can't, so I'll never start, and don't.
Will I email X? What if I don't write the email properly? How much will I say? When is a good time to send it? Can I send it at a time that'll give me some space and not prompt an immediate follow up?

Relatively basic tasks become very stuck.


Image


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Basement
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16 Jun 2022, 4:18 pm

Your post says "Image resized to 70% of its original size [706 x 397]" and 4 options. Is that what you meant to post?


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DanielW
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16 Jun 2022, 8:50 pm

Basement wrote:
I get that, but there's a quality of life impact here, hence the thread.

It affects little things, day-to-day, how I manage my email, running (hobby), etc.

It is like being asked to keep tempo with a metronome, constantly.

Will I go get my car looked at?
Will I tidy the wardrobe? I want to do it a certain way, I can't, so I'll never start, and don't.
Will I email X? What if I don't write the email properly? How much will I say? When is a good time to send it? Can I send it at a time that'll give me some space and not prompt an immediate follow up?

Relatively basic tasks become very stuck.


Ah, the Executive Function aspect coupled with some procrastination and social anxiety. It does really become more than one issue at that point. It happens to me, I don't really have any great practical advice, but I do understand the problems.



orbweaver
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17 Jun 2022, 1:56 am

Basement wrote:
Your post says "Image resized to 70% of its original size [706 x 397]" and 4 options. Is that what you meant to post?


Yes, "I'm in this photo and don't like it."


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orbweaver
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17 Jun 2022, 1:59 am

DanielW wrote:
Basement wrote:
I get that, but there's a quality of life impact here, hence the thread.

It affects little things, day-to-day, how I manage my email, running (hobby), etc.

It is like being asked to keep tempo with a metronome, constantly.

Will I go get my car looked at?
Will I tidy the wardrobe? I want to do it a certain way, I can't, so I'll never start, and don't.
Will I email X? What if I don't write the email properly? How much will I say? When is a good time to send it? Can I send it at a time that'll give me some space and not prompt an immediate follow up?

Relatively basic tasks become very stuck.


Ah, the Executive Function aspect coupled with some procrastination and social anxiety. It does really become more than one issue at that point. It happens to me, I don't really have any great practical advice, but I do understand the problems.


It's like this with me, I will often reduce my choices to fewer to avoid overwhelm, and I imagine *that* looks very binary. But then the binaries often branch. I think this is probably just decision making however and not necessarily an autistic thing, I am just more aware of the particulars of my thought processes.


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18 Jun 2022, 2:47 pm

Persoanlly, I feel I sometimes overcompensate for the shortcomings of 'black & white thinking!'



nick007
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22 Jun 2022, 3:40 am

DanielW wrote:
Ah, the Executive Function aspect coupled with some procrastination and social anxiety. It does really become more than one issue at that point. It happens to me, I don't really have any great practical advice, but I do understand the problems.
I wonder if there could be an OCD aspect in the OP's case. My girlfriend has problems with executive function, depression, anxiety, & OCD that can prevent her from starting lots of things. Things seem overwhelming to her so she quickly gives up or doesn't really start or try for a long time. I have problems starting & trying things but I think lots of times it's cuz I don't know how to get started &/or having Learned Helplessness, &/or having OCD. There's been lots of times when I really tried to do things & tried to learn & get good grades but the effort I put in did not seem to matter. I got stressed out, overwhelmed, burnt out, & at times caused some inconvenience for my parents, & at times caused me or my parents to waist some money. Unlike the Jim Carrey movie Yes Man, saying Yes & trying tends to not work out well for me & in my experience being cautious & hesitant seems to be easier & safer. I usually like to know how things will play out before really starting. The times I feel stressed, pressured, & rushed are the times when I tend to make the worst decisions. My girlfriend believes I'm more analytical & level-headed about making decisions than she is & I think she's right. She sometimes makes decisions without thinking things through that cause problems. She can sometimes take a step or two to start something & then give up after she ran up more debt or caused incontinence & stress.


shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
A lot of neurotypicals are much more "black and white thinking", than me. Even counselors

A counselor (master degree in psychology), was like "human behavior is unpredictable". Predictably ranges from zero to one hundred, but, according to the counselor, predictability is either one or zero

Plenty of neurotypicals use "ever", "always", "never", "people". Exaggeration for emphasis

And they do that a lot more often than my worthless corpse
I think your right about NTs having black & white thinking. They tend to be very judgemental & lump others in categories & think everyone in those categories is exactly like everyone else. Take politics for example. If someone disagrees with liberals on one major issue, the liberals consider the person to be a Trump lover even if the person hates most everything else about Trump. If someone disagrees with conservatives on one major issue, the conservatives consider the person to be a Biden lover even if the person hates most everything else about Biden. I don't fit nice & neat into square boxes & others don't know what to make of me. People tend to assume I like & do things I don't & assume I hate & don't do things I like, & they also assume that I cant understand or know things I do & that I understand & know things I don't.


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AnomalousAspergian
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05 Aug 2022, 11:01 am

orbweaver wrote:
My thinking is far from black and white, it's frustrating sometimes to have to (figuratively) mentally consult the entire Pantone color catalog to spit out an answer for people. Being asked to "yes or no" on stuff actually causes me to mentally lock up. I become overwhelmed by the number of options present for everything.


I can relate to this. For some reason it is difficult for me to make certain decisions. It can range from trivial things like what to eat or something more major. I call it a mental block.