Anyone else here get this '6th sense' on dating/hookup apps?

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goldfish21
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10 Jun 2022, 12:07 pm

I dunno if this is a normal regular every human thing, or if I'm just somehow hypersensitive and very aware of this particular phenomenon.. so, figured I'd ask here to see if this is a thing for anyone else.

Basically, sometimes from the moment I see a profile pic even, or the moment I send a first message or sometimes receive one.. there's this feeling/sensation or maybe 'awareness,' that I get where I Just Know that this interaction is going to lead to us meeting/hooking up, and then the rest of the conversation almost seems like a mere formality just to hammer out the details.

I dunno how to describe it precisely.. it's sort of a 'vibe,' thing. I just feel/Know it, and then perhaps by believing it I subconsciously somehow manifest that reality into existence ?? A sort of confidence thing ? Whereas it's exceedingly rare that if I message someone while Not feeling confident there'll be an optimal outcome that there actually is. It's as if our intentions (via 'vibes') are able to be transferred from our thoughts/feelings through the text messages we send, and the message received contains more information than the literal words - and vice versa.

It's more than just a thought/feeling, too. I think my heart rate might fluctuate some, and maybe my breathing.. hell, for all I know my irises change shape, too. There's definitely a physiological response to the whole sensing of the 'vibe,' when I Just Know that I'm about to arrange to meet someone I've been chatting with - or even Just Initiated contact with.

This make any sense to any of you ? Or nah, too.. 'intuitively social,' for you to have a lived experience with? (I'm not trying to be a jerk here. I don't Know, but perhaps the further along the spectrum one is, the less they're able to tune in to things like this.)


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klanka
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10 Jun 2022, 12:49 pm

That's really weird. I have wished that I had such abilities (maybe I read too many books like that as a child).
I even looked at things and formed impressions to see if they were real...but I definetly dont have those abilities.

As a Christian though I have had someone's name pop into my head before they said it (another Christian who I was to be involved with for a long time). Thats not an innate ability as it happens when it wants to happen. Yours is more like an ability.



rse92
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10 Jun 2022, 1:56 pm

I'd be interested to know how many people you have actually met from online dating.

Also, do you get the feeling that you will be meeting with some while you will be hooking up with others, because they are not the same thing.

Also, what do you mean by the further along the spectrum one is, the less they're able to tune in to things like this? Further along in which direction?



old_comedywriter
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10 Jun 2022, 2:01 pm

I get the feeling I have "no sense" for actually using a dating app.

As far as a sixth sense, I can always tell when someone's not going to respond to me. Never been wrong about that.


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goldfish21
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10 Jun 2022, 2:54 pm

rse92 wrote:
I'd be interested to know how many people you have actually met from online dating.

Also, do you get the feeling that you will be meeting with some while you will be hooking up with others, because they are not the same thing.

Also, what do you mean by the further along the spectrum one is, the less they're able to tune in to things like this? Further along in which direction?


Several hundred. I'm gay - the hookup culture is.. next level compared to the heteronormative.

Almost all meetings are for the express purpose of hookups as discussed and agreed to before hand. There's not a lot of dating going on on gay hookup apps. I have met several friends with benefits over the years, though.

I mean the more autistic someone is, maybe the less likely they are to pick up on such a 'social vibe,' when there's a connection made on an online app.


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Lost_dragon
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10 Jun 2022, 7:55 pm

Nope!

Very much the opposite. I've never matched with someone on a dating app that actually wanted to meet. Rather, I've had all sorts. When I first started using dating apps, it was common for the conversation to go really well but not at all flirtatious. I think some people are just lonely. Some of my matches have downright told me their life story and then immediately cut contact after I suggested meeting up. I don't really know how to flirt with someone unless they flirt first. So I've had people despair about the economy, teach me about coding video games, write essays about how to tell avians apart, explain the rules of DnD and various other topics on Tinder but very little flirting goes on.

There have been a couple of flirty conversations...but they tend to either be fake or say they're busy and unmatch with no explanation. I did once meet one of my matches because it turned out we had mutual friends, but oh boy that was a disaster. To this day I think about how stupid I acted and how badly it went and I cringe. So, uh, I've basically given up for now.

On the plus side, I was invited to join a DnD party recently, so maybe I'll do that, it could be fun. I don't think I'm cut out for the whole smooth-talking flirting or maybe even romance for that matter. The idea of hooking up frankly terrifies me. I'm not smooth by any stretch of the imagination. Rather, I'm the easily flustered mess who overthinks everything. My friend thinks I need to swipe on more people and not give up so fast. Even then, it just leads to more questions. What do you ask on a date? How do I human? AAAAA *ahem* Anyway, my friend also thinks that my best friend has a crush on me and that I'm freaking blind but I don't think she does and I don't see her that way.

My friend also thinks we should go Pride this year and that I should try flirting with someone. I could attempt I suppose, but it's...ugh...yeah...whyyyyy. Send help. :lol:


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auntblabby
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11 Jun 2022, 4:04 am

some folks have psychic talent, most folks don't.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Jun 2022, 2:17 pm

Nope, not at seeing the picture stage.

but I can tell after the first exchange.


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