Is it common for aspies to not like the way they look?

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catpiecakebutter
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04 Jul 2022, 11:10 pm

I'm a overweight aspie woman in my late 30's and I don't like the way I look even when I get beauty treatments by dyeing my hair and eyebrows, waxing my eyebrows, painting my nails and wearing cool pretty tops. I still don't like the way I look because of my weight. I hate looking at my face in the mirror and I want to try to lose weight and even if I manage to lose some pounds I still will hate the way I look in the mirror. Do any of you feel similar this way and is it common for aspies to feel this way?



funeralxempire
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04 Jul 2022, 11:37 pm

I don't care for how I look, particularly, but I also don't really know what I'd change to be happy.

Sometimes I wouldn't mind being incorporeal, but then I remember there's some... corporeal things I enjoy. :(

Stupid existing.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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05 Jul 2022, 12:24 am

I don't like the way I look either

I wish I was a skinny smart handsome cisgender neurotypical white man

Some people are born with those job skills

Some people will never match that description no matter what they attempt

"You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"

However plenty of neurotypicals do not like the way they look either



Dillogic
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05 Jul 2022, 5:51 am

I don't think I match who is in the mirror or picture. I kinda dislike who I see, but I'm unsure why in the end. It doesn't feel like me. :? Maybe I have a disconnection from "self" or something.

I don't really pay attention to aesthetics.



timf
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05 Jul 2022, 6:00 am

I think the male / female distinction about appearance is more pronounced than an aspie / nt difference. Aspies might be more sensitive in general and thus exacerbate the discomfort.

I used to work at a place that had photo IDs. Most of the women would wear their badges backwards because they did not like their pictures. I thought mine was so much better than I actually look that I was rather proud of it.



Fnord
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05 Jul 2022, 9:00 am

It is common for anyone to not like the way they look.



theidealist
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05 Jul 2022, 9:05 am

Tbh I usually don't pay attention to my looks. I stopped caring.
But sometimes I do get the feeling that I look really nice. Other times I'm the ugliest man alive. So it's all or nothing in my case.


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Fireblossom
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05 Jul 2022, 9:15 am

Probably. Many aspies have a bad self esteem, and people with bad self esteem often are so at least partly due to appearance -related reasons, so that's probably one factor in it.



Mitchell M.
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05 Jul 2022, 10:45 am

Personally I find myself fairly attractive, probably because my mom put me on a special diet when I was a child.



Chrysotoxum
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05 Jul 2022, 10:59 am

@catpiecakebutter who is telling you that you are overweight and unattractive? Has your doctor advised you that you need to loose weight for health reasons? Who are you comparing yourself too? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!



Joe90
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05 Jul 2022, 11:15 am

I've always been unhappy about the way I look but that's only because my closest cousins are darker haired, naturally tanned skin, smaller in height and have a more attractive shape face than me, while I've always been the blonde haired, blue eyes, ghostly pale skin and unattractive shape face one. My eyes are close together and my face always look like a perfect rectangle whenever I try to take a natural selfie, so I have to always use strong filters to make me look more attractive in selfies. I don't think my face is rectangular otherwise though.

I look too much like my dad, and although my dad is a good-looking guy, it doesn't really suit a woman to look so much like him.

Also I have always been tall. I'm not sure if 5 foot 6 is considered tall for a woman but everyone always says I'm tall, and I wish I was about 5 foot 4. When you're taller than all your female peers you tend to weigh more even if you're slim. I don't see how but apparently it's true, even just by an inch or two.


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Chrysotoxum
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05 Jul 2022, 12:43 pm

I like women in all shapes and sizes. I'm 100% certain that I'm not the only person who thinks that way.



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05 Jul 2022, 12:44 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Sometimes I wouldn't mind being incorporeal, but then I remember there's some... corporeal things I enjoy.

Share with me. :oops:


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With the help of translation software.

Cover your eyes, if you like. It will serve no purpose.

You might expect to be able to crush them in your hand, into wolf-bone fragments.
Dance with me, funeralxempire. Into night's circle we fly, until the fire enjoys us.


Last edited by SkinnedWolf on 05 Jul 2022, 1:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

lostonearth35
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05 Jul 2022, 12:57 pm

I think it's common for women in general to hate the way they look because for many many years society has told them everything about their bodies is disgusting and the only way to be truly happy is look like a 21 year old blonde supermodel.

People tell us that looks aren't don't matter, but that's just a big fat lie. Humans that are superficially good looking get treated better in society while people who aren't are seen as creepy and gross. Which makes them think it's because they *are* creepy and gross. it's a sad part of human nature and it will never change.



klanka
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05 Jul 2022, 1:00 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
I think it's common for women in general to hate the way they look because for many many years society has told them everything about their bodies is disgusting and the only way to be truly happy is look like a 21 year old blonde supermodel.

People tell us that looks aren't don't matter, but that's just a big fat lie. Humans that are superficially good looking get treated better in society while people who aren't are seen as creepy and gross. Which makes them think it's because they *are* creepy and gross. it's a sad part of human nature and it will never change.


I find it disturbing that during the 80's and possibly the 70's and 60's the only type of female that it was acceptable to be attracted to was stick thin.
There has been a slow shift which took possibly 20 years where now it's a bit more universal.



SkinnedWolf
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05 Jul 2022, 1:05 pm

Not so bad. Maybe. At least the user experience indicates that it works well.

But it's hard to understand why it's me. :|


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With the help of translation software.

Cover your eyes, if you like. It will serve no purpose.

You might expect to be able to crush them in your hand, into wolf-bone fragments.
Dance with me, funeralxempire. Into night's circle we fly, until the fire enjoys us.