The ONE Thing that Neurotypicals Want to Know About Autism

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Elgee
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05 Jul 2022, 3:39 pm

What are the most common things about autism that vex NTs?
I'm recently diagnosed and wondering if any "veteran diagnosees" can answer the most popular or common things that neurotypicalas want to know about us.

Other than the most general, "Why do you think the way you do?"



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05 Jul 2022, 4:12 pm

Two things immediately come to mind.

1. Literalism.  I will answer the question that was asked, and not the implication behind it.

SHE: "Do you think it is a little too cool in here?"
ME: "No, not really."
SHE: "Will you PLEASE switch off the damn air conditioner?!"

2. Hesitancy.          I will       wait      to answer a question, and         often         pause while I          search          for the          correct words.

Some (NT) people seem to believe that literalism is nothing more than being a smartass, while some (NT) people seem to believe that hesitancy while speaking means I am lying.



Dear_one
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05 Jul 2022, 4:56 pm

Elgee wrote:
What are the most common things about autism that vex NTs?
I'm recently diagnosed and wondering if any "veteran diagnosees" can answer the most popular or common things that neurotypicalas want to know about us.

Other than the most general, "Why do you think the way you do?"


"How can I deal with this person without having to learn anything?"



IsabellaLinton
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05 Jul 2022, 5:01 pm

Dear_one wrote:
"How can I deal with this person without having to learn anything?"

:hail: ^

So true.

Also, "How can I manipulate this information to devalue your experience, and still virtue signal my acceptance in public?"

They're usually big on pretending to know what Autism is, usually in relation to a stereotype.
They might try to tell you that you aren't Autistic because you don't match their expectation.
Others might tell you everyone is a little bit Autistic and that it doesn't really matter.
Either way they seldom want to know more about your experience, or how they can accommodate your needs.

* One of my friends suggested I use Gestalt therapy so it would go away.



Joe90
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05 Jul 2022, 6:16 pm

That we have feelings too.


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Moloko
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05 Jul 2022, 7:36 pm

Lack of empathy is a very common misperception (with a jadded history), so what does the "theory of mind" concept mean in practice and why do so many autistics have very intense emotional empathy when NTs are told we have no empathy?

Also, there is a lot of lack of understanding about sensory processing. For instance, I have almost no sense of smell or taste (except when I need it, like when I was pregnant or need to avoid a certain food or chemical, which tells me it is neurological from autism), but am so super sensitive to lights they feel like a needle stabbing in my brain. (Vent alert: I'm VERY tired of being told I'm "fussy" or a "prima donna" by the very few people who I trust to acknowledge my sensitivity around!)



kitesandtrainsandcats
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05 Jul 2022, 8:19 pm

Elgee wrote:
What are the most common things about autism that vex NTs?


What vexes NT's the most is that people different from them exist.


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05 Jul 2022, 9:57 pm

What do they want to know about us? Nothing, they think they know it all. Therefore they think what it is about us that vexes them.


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06 Jul 2022, 12:44 am

Elgee wrote:
What are the most common things about autism that vex NTs?

Definitely the screaming. I can deal with almost anything, but the screaming meltdowns make everything so much harder.

Yesterday we took the kids to the pool. My son used to love swimming. Now he claims not to. Ok, I brought another activity for him in case he didn't change his mind.

Then his socks got splashed by someone jumping in the pool. Cue ear-splitting screeching. Attacking the pool plants. Picking up a chair and nearly throwing it. I know he doesn't want to get splashed, but he was very loud about it. I had to get the youngest out of the pool so I could go over and try to calm him down.

It took about 20 minutes to get him to calm down enough to work out a solution: take off the socks so I can dry them and go do the other activity we brought.

This is how pretty much everything we try to do as a family goes. There's always something that results in a screaming meltdown: we didn't stop the car when he spotted a cat. His arm touched a piece of food. His sister stepped on his shoe. His brother didn't answer his question about--oh no there's screaming downstairs and my eldest has a friend over gtg



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06 Jul 2022, 1:30 am

Sorry you go through that stuff. It would be very hard for me.



Mountain Goat
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06 Jul 2022, 3:10 am

I can't say I am on the spectrum or not as I don't know but I do have traits.

What I can say is that people say they know all about it and they don't like being corrected when their conclusion wrong and refuse to accept what I am telling them as they have this pre-set idea and will refuse to budge from their idea and refuse to listen to what I am telling them, even past doctors and health professionals.



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06 Jul 2022, 4:23 am

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
Elgee wrote:
What are the most common things about autism that vex NTs?


What vexes NT's the most is that people different from them exist.


Actually, judging from the posts - the people on this forum have more in common with NTs than what makes them different.



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06 Jul 2022, 4:24 am

Elgee wrote:
I'm recently diagnosed and wondering if any "veteran diagnosees" can answer the most popular or common things that neurotypicalas want to know about us."


It depends on whom the NT is. If it's a parent or intimate partner, then they will want to know EVERYTHING



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06 Jul 2022, 4:32 am

I never felt they truly wanted to know anything. Puzzled and put off--yes. But, really wanting to know?



cyberdad
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06 Jul 2022, 5:34 am

HighLlama wrote:
I never felt they truly wanted to know anything. Puzzled and put off--yes. But, really wanting to know?


Yeah, the average Joe NT



kraftiekortie
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06 Jul 2022, 6:40 am

There are many NTs who are decent people, too.

Back when I was 9, there was an NT kid, also 9, who defended me and who gave me advice.